


Red Fire Anarchists

by LordessScribes



Category: K-pop, Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Multi, Past Abuse Mentioned, Slow Burn, Yooran, anyway, band au, been awhile since i wrote a longfic yall bear with me, disassociation is described, it felt right, its gonna mostly focus on the band too, ive got this mostly planned out but, just a heads up, kpop band au, maaaaybe smut in a way later chapter if i can finagle it, mmm also homophobia at one point probably, so are panic attacks, tags might change depending on whats added, well the original game is korean so like
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2018-11-02 01:01:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 54,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10933722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordessScribes/pseuds/LordessScribes
Summary: “Page three of Entertainment WeeklyBand Scandals!Jahee, Jumin, Zen, 707 and Yoosung are a famous Korean Pop band, Red Fire Anarchists and adored by fans all over the world. Well known for their exciting music videos and song topics as well as an active presence online, the five friends recently were dealt a rough blow with the disappearance of their beloved choreographer. Sources say that Rika was engaged to their director/manager and a close personal friend to many of the members due to being one of its founders. No word yet on how the members are each taking her loss or what might have happened. Perhaps there’s still hope. Some sources say they have already hired a new choreographer but nothing is confirmed yet. Our hearts go out to the members in this trying time.”Mystic Messenger Band AU, written in episodic increments in an almost slice of life format. Short chapters so don't let the word count intimidate you.





	1. And... 5, 6, 7, 8!

    Mc’s eyes were alight with eagerness, scanning the crowd. Her heart beat rapidly and she was practically bouncing with excitement. Every so often she’d readjust her duffel bag on her shoulder, a motion to keep her otherwise still. The airport was crowded as all hell but she could see through the people easily enough, despite having to brush her hair out of the way every few seconds. Saeran had even tied it back this morning, yet it still got in her way. Whatever, it didn’t matter. They’d all seen her face before, they would recognize her. She hoped.

    She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the random bout of anxiety.

    “Have you heard from anyone yet?” she asked, fidgeting with her overnight bag again.

    “Nope.”

    “No location to find them at? No word about who would escort us?”

    “Nope.”

    “Mmm. I hope they get here soon.” Mc kind of whined. She was getting impatient. They wouldn’t stand them up, would they? Maybe they forgot? No they just talked last night. Crap. Where were they?

    Saeran looked completely unfazed by her nerves. Actually, he looked impassive about everything. His phone in one hand, fidget cube in the other, he had kind of blocked everything out again. He did that sometimes. Mc didn’t mind. Nothing would change his status as ‘Most Wonderful Best Friend To Ever Exist And Grace The World With His Life’ right now or ever.

    Were it not for Saeran, Mc wouldn’t even be there right now. She turned back to the crowds again. No sign of any of the group, or anyone who seemed to recognize her, since it was likely that they wouldn’t come pick them up in person.

    That would no doubt be a disaster. People were already staring and pointing at Saeran every few minutes, who knew what kind of mess it would be if his brother showed up.

    Just as Mc decided upon this, someone spoke from beside her that she hadn’t noticed approach.

    “Pardon me, madam.” Oh god. He was wearing ridiculously large sunglasses and a brown beanie, as well as a hideous sweater. He looked terrible, but somehow the silliness seemed to make sense on him. It only took them a split second to recognize him. “I am looking for a lovely young lady set to accompany me back to our studio and a stunning young man whose face should really be more covered in this particular city.”

    Mc’s face split into a grin and she launched herself into his arms.

    “AH! You! I’d scream your name but that would probably ruin the moment! EE!”

    “Shh! Don’t make a scene or someone might recognize me! Though I was serious, they might mistake you for me if you don’t put your hood up or something!” He lowered his sunglasses just enough to wink at his twin. “A face as hansome as that is bound to attract attention.” What an idiot. Mc was no less happy to see him, despite how foolish it was for him to be there.

    “Hi, Saeyoug. What a surprise to see you personally retrieving us. I feel honored.” Saeran deadpanned, tucking away his phone.

    Saeyoung let go of Mc and hugged his brother as well, despite him stiffening up at the contact. “Of course! The rest of the group is in the car out front, they wanted to just text you our location and let you find us on your own, but I wanted to come get you.”

    “I can see that.” Over his shoulder, Saeran made eye contact with Mc, showing his discomfort in a rather pinched look. She looked sympathetically uncomfortable for him, but didn’t say anything. Saeyoung let him go a moment later.

    “Where’s the rest of your luggage? Should I call someone to come help us carry it?”

    “We just brought overnight bags for now and had the rest shipped. Hope that’s alright? It should arrive tomorrow.” Mc explained, hoisting her bag onto her shoulder again.

    “That is a brilliant choice that could only have been made by you. We have a genius in our midst and I am so freaking ready to see it in its natural habitat!”

    “Aw, Saeyoung, you flatterer you.” Mc waved away his praise as they started walking in the direction he’d come from.  

    “Where would I be if I were not a magnificent gentleman?”

    “Famous and rich, just a little less popular online.” Saeran mumbled.

    “But what would be the point? It’s lonely at the top without companionship, you know.”

    “Being left alone, imagine that.”

    “Hey! Look! Starbucks! Saeyoung, why don’t you treat us after the flight! Jetlag is a bitch, y’know!” Mc quickly butted in, before Saeyoung could process his brother’s jab.

    “Hey, watch your language. Ladies shouldn’t use words like that.” He diverted the group into the little coffee shop despite this.

    “Ladies also shouldn’t beat up celebrities that get on their nerves and try to control them.”

    “Fair enough. What do you want?”

    “Hmm.” Mc squinted at the menu behind the counter, scanning their specials and flavors.

    Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a group of high schoolers huddled at the back of the shop whispering and pointing. That wasn’t a good sign. They’d entered just behind the three and seemed to be arguing amongst themselves. Crap.

    “The S’mores one looks good.”

    “That sound good for everyone?” Saeyoung glanced at Mc and Saeran in turn, not having noticed the other group yet.

    “Sure, whatever.” His twin shrugged.

    He stepped up to order and Mc watched without directly looking at the group. One of them had taken out her phone and held it up, comparing something on it to them. Crap.

    Their argument wasn’t loud enough to make out, but she could guess it.

    “Hey, you ok?” she glanced up at Saeran, who was already pulling out his phone again.

    “I’m great.”

    “Are you sure? I can talk to him about the hugging, and you don’t have to hang around the studio if you don’t want to.”

    “It’s fine. I’ll tell him. You just focus on impressing him.” when she didn’t look convinced, he added, “I promise. If I get too… overwhelmed, I’ll let you know.”

    “Hmm. Fine.”

    Finally, two girls separated themselves from the group and hesitantly approached Saeran, much to both of their dread.

    “Uhm, excuse me.” He turned to her before she could touch his shoulder, as it looked like that had been her intention. “Sorry to bother you, but uhm… would you- I mean, I know your hair color is different than in the picture from this morning- but would you, by any chance, be Saeyoung Choi?” she bit her lip in anticipation. Mc could tell by his posture from the counter that Saeyoung was tuned into the interaction, despite having not turned around yet and continuing to order their drinks without pause.

    Saeran, however, just looked put out. “No. You’ve got the wrong guy. Sorry.”

    “Are you sure? Because you look just like him, it’s uncanny.” She glanced briefly back at her phone, where a photo of Saeyoung glinted back up.

    He blinked once. “I get that a lot.” Saeran looked away, his closed off stance and tone of voice trying to end the interaction very fast.

    “Ok, sorry for the mix-up. Could, uhm, I get a picture with you anyway, my friends will never believe me that I saw someone who looked so close to him.”

    “I’d really rather you didn’t do that.”

    “I wouldn’t post it anywhere, I promise, it’s just to show my friend! I-“

    “Excuse me, beautiful.” Saeyoung had finally joined the interaction, leaning forward to put his arm around Saeran’s shoulders (against his obvious flinch and glare). “As polite as you’re being, I’m afraid you’re making my brother here a bit uncomfortable.” He lowered his sunglasses again, smirking. “I hope you understand.”

    Mc facepalmed as the girl’s phone hit slipped between her fingertips, hands flying to her mouth. What an idiot. It seemed to dawn on her friend too, as she was instantly shaking and waving at the rest of their friend group. Craaaaap. Did Saeyoung doing this on purpose?

    “Two drinks for Choi.” The barista was fighting off a grin as he handed them to Saeyoung. He must’ve been in on the joke too, likely after being paid off in the form of an autograph.

    He passed the drinks to a glaring Saeran and Mc.

    “I fucking hate you.” His twin muttered.

    The group of teenagers began to shuffle forward and Saeyoung grinned. “And with that, we run.”

    Before the crowd could react, the trio had darted out of the corner Starbucks and made a beeline for the front gates of the airport.

    Somewhere between the first security gates and the second, Saeyoung dropped his sunglasses and ditched the hat too. He definitely planned this from the start. Mc was starting to share Saeran’s sentiments.

    Nobody was making to follow them, but Mc could see cameras from all sides flashing and excited yelling. Her Korean still not quite perfect, she made no attempt to decipher what they were all saying. She could guess well enough.

    Despite the panic, she burst out laughing with exhilaration as they dashed across the tile. Whatever she’d thought would happen would happen on their way out of the airport, this was way better.

    They made it through security in record time, Saeyoung’s winking and sweet talking the people at the gates speeding them along. Outside was mostly clear of people so they were able to slow and catch their breaths. After a few minutes of breathing and with quick eye contact, Mc and Saeyoung quickly lost their breath again to giggles.

    “You fucking suck.” Saeran growled, bent forward to lean on his rolling suitcase, unamused by their hysterics.

    “Hey you got your drink, didn’t you?” Saeyoung said, chuckling between words.

    “That’s not what I meant.”

    “Aww-hw come on, Saeran. Don’t be a buzzkill. It was fun.”

    “For you maybe. I shook up my drink though. Won’t taste right.”

    “If you wanna go back in and get a new one, be my guest.”

    Saeran folded his arms, pouting. “Where’s your stupid car. I just wanna get out of here.”

    “Then the speed was necessary, after all. It’s this way.” Saeyoung waved one hand and led the two of them to a large van of sorts with the windows darkened. He stepped up to the passenger window and tapped twice. The doors unlocked a moment later.

    “Gee, Saeyoung. Suspicious much?” opening the door, it seemed he hadn’t been lying. The entire group was waiting in the many seats.

    “Just get in.” He jumped into the backseat ahead of them. Someone in a suit and sunglasses was driving, while Jumin sat shotgun, checking his phone and tapping his foot. Zen and Jaehee sat middle row and turned around to clamber out of their seats behind Yoosung, who had launched himself out of his spot in the very back.

     “Saeran! Mc!”

    “Yoosung!!!” Mc likely would have been tackled to the ground by him had she not met him halfway to also jump into the hug. “It’s so good to see you all!”

    “As much as I wish to revel in this meeting, we really should be going. Yoosung, please get back in the car before you’re noticed. Place your bags in the trunk to preserve space.” Jumin growled, rapidly sending a message on his phone. “We’re already behind schedule.”

    “Fuuuuck the schedule. Let’s go out for dinner!” Saeyoung leaned over Zen’s seat to speak.

    “Oh! Good idea!” Zen nodded.

    “It’s only four o’clock.” Jaehee raised an eyebrow, but looked nonetheless amused by the two of them. Mc clambered into the third row behind her and waited for Saeran to toss their bags in the back to close the door.

    “Early dinner?” Zen offered.

    “Brunch!” Saeyoung beamed.

    “Brunch is between breakfast and lunch, you fool.”

    “Then what the fuck is between lunch and dinner?”

    “Nothing, because we need to get back to the studio.” Jumin set his phone down and nodded to their driver.

    “But Juuuumiiiin!” they both whined.

    “Oh shut up.” Saeran squeezed in between Yoosung and Mc before she closed the door and they pulled out of the airport parking lot.

    “Mc and Saeran haven’t eaten since the start of the flight! They’re hungry! I’m hungry!”

    “Yeah, Jumin.” Mc agreed. She was already loving these people. Despite their fame, they were all a lot more human than she used to think. Such is the way of a fan, she supposed. Knowing them personally was much nicer, though.

    “I feel fine.” Saeran had closed his eyes, likely to block out the many people in one space. He wasn’t great in tight spaces. Mc made a mental note to tell Jumin at some point so they could take a bigger car next time.

    “That’s not unanimous agreement, still no.”

    “Dammit Saeran!”

    “Things are already blowing up because of your appearance at the airport. This is your retribution for being stupid.” Jumin tucked away his phone, despite it continuing to light up every few seconds.

    “Hey! It’s not my fault I dropped my sunglasses!”

    “Liar.” Saeran kept his eyes shut.

    “Shush you.”

    “As I said. We’re going back to the studio first.” Jumin glanced out the window as they passed the city traffic.

    “You are the worst brother ever.” Saeyoung sat back, folding his arms in a childish pout.

    “Against you? I find that hard to even compare.”

    “Maybe we can order something when we get back to the studio.” Yoosung suggested.

    “We always order something.” Saeyoung muttered.

    “And you always eat every bite. Quit complaining.” Jumin was starting to sound like a short-tempered mother. Mc had a quick image in her mind of him in an apron and bandanna, shouting at the rest of the band. She giggled at the idea. 

    “Was you guys’ flight alright?” Yoosung asked, subtly trying to distract Mc and Saeran from the continued argument between those up front.

    “It was nice! Not too long. Well, it was long, but Thailand isn’t super close so it wasn’t longer than it needed to be. I’ve never flown before, but it wasn’t as scary as I thought it’d be.” Mc smiled. She'd slept most of it anyway. 

    “We fly all the time for tours. One time there was a mixup and Jaehee ended up in coach instead of first class and-“

    “Please don’t tell that story. It was not a fun day for me.” Jaehee didn’t turn around to look at them, but her tone was final nonetheless.

    “Sorry. Sorry. You’re right, its mean.” 

    “What happened?” Mc prompted, glancing between the two. “Now I’m curious.”

    “Well, she got recognized by this really rude group of girls. If she wants to tell you the whole thing she can.” he shrugged. 

    Mc nodded, thinking about the one horrible fan meetup she'd once attended. She could imagine what happened. “That sounds pretty rough.” 

    “Mm. Oh! But there was this one time our flight was delayed and we ended up being late to our own concert. Man, Jumin went insane! It was pretty funny.”

    “Sounds like you guys have a lot of stories to tell.”

    “Yeah. I suppose.” Yoosung nodded. He glanced down between them and noticed that Saeran had his fidget cube back in hand. He pointed and addressed him directly for the first time since they'd gotten in the car. “What’s that?”

    Saeran looked surprised to be noticed, stumbling over himself and tensing up. “Wh- uh. It’s, uh, a fidget cube?” 

    “Can I see it?”

    “Sure?” Saeran always looked so unsure of himself when he talked to people, Mc thought, watching Yoosung toy with the little spinning gear on one side. She hoped that hanging around with a group of people more often could help with that. 

    “It’s pretty cool!” Yoosung smiled and gave it back. 

    “Yeah. I guess.” Saeran just pocketed it instead of continuing to use it. She hoped he hadn't been made self-conscious by Yoosung. 

    The driver finally pulled into the studio grounds.

    The gates of the studio were kind of tall and spooky. Distantly, Mc wondered just how desperate their fans were. The entire site was not much bigger than a shopping center of sorts, but felt bigger due to the open space around them. The actual studio building sat slightly in the middle of it all with four or so tour busses parked around it and an additional two cars with tinted windows.

    “So, do you guys live in the tour busses year round?” Mc asked

    “No, ‘course not! We all have apartments right close by. We just spend all day every day at the studio.” Saeyoung said while they parked close to the studio.

    “So where will we stay?”

    “Got you guys places too! Well, Jahee did. She’s good at doing adult stuff like that.”

    “Thank you, Jaehee.”

    Jaehee shrugged and smiled. “Someone had to do it.”

    “For now, we need to make sure all the paperwork is finished and you know your way about the studio.” Jumin said, opening his door and stepping out of the car to glance around before waving to the rest of them.

    “You guys act like you’ll get swarmed at any minute.”

    “We just might! We get trespassers all the time. Rarely press charges, though.” Saeyoung hopped out on his side, Zen on his heels.

    “So, Mc! You have large shoes to fill! Rika was a pretty good choreographer.” Zen grinned as the rest clambered out of the car and headed into the building. “You’ll have to really impress us!”

    “Well, I don’t intend to brag here, but I think I’ll be good. I’ve got a few ideas in mind. Spending time in America gave me some inspiration.” Mc brushed her hair from her face and smiled deviously up at him.

    Zen raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

    “You ever seen an American cheerleading group’s routine?”

    “No?”

    “Excellent.” This was going to be fun. While this Rika’s disappearance had been unfortunate and hard for the group, Mc had high hopes for them. She herself had never met their former choreographer, but she knew she was just a local. Mc prided herself in experience from all over the world.

    “I like this girl. She’s got potential. Saeyoung, where’d you say you found her again?”

    “Saeran connected us.”

    “Saeran?” Zen glanced at his twin.

    Saeran shrugged, his preferred means of communication when he didn’t want to speak. Mc assisted. “We met through a music camp two years ago! Been best friends ever since! Although I’ll never be able to measure up to him now that he’s gotten me this job.”

    “You’ve not got the job officially, yet. Paperwork needs to be sorted through first.” Jumin butted in.

    “You really know how to ruin a moment, don’t you?” Zen said.

    “Excuse me for trying to keep this band functional! I’m only the manager that handles all the paperwork, scheduling, and everything you don’t want to grow up enough to do.” Behind him, Jaehee rolled her eyes.

    Mc smiled. Hearing him call them a band made it all feel so real. She’d been a fan of RFA for a full year before she met Saeran. She really could never thank him enough for this opportunity. Even though he dyed his hair and wore contacts, he still got recognized by fans. She hoped he would enjoy their time here as much as her. Every few seconds he would glance up at his brother or another band member, looking thoughtful. She really hoped he would find a place with them.

    She grinned wider as they stepped into a lounge of sorts just inside the building. This was real! Oh god!

    “Jaehee, run and grab the folder I set in the office.” Jumin ordered, opening a cabinet and grabbing some pens.

    “Sure.” She shuffled off.

    “Before we officially hire you in, you told us over skype yesterday that you have some things already choreographed to show us? I’d like to see them. Also, perhaps we could test and see how well you teach these savages. Rika had her hands full, so I just want to make sure they won’t drive you just as mad.”

    “I think I can handle it.” Mc shrugged.

    “Her optimism is reassuring.” Zen smiled and plopped down onto a couch.

    “I’m nothing if not optimistic.”

    “Hm. I suppose so.”

    Jaehee shuffled back in with the folder of papers. Jumin check them for a moment, then tucked them under one arm. “Ready when you are.” He nodded.

    “Excellent!” Mc grinned and turned to the rest of the band. “Shall we head to the practice room? I believe you boys have a choreography to learn.”

    Zen grumbled something about just getting comfy before being shoved to his feet by Jahee. They made their way down the hall a few at a time. Mc was about to leave too, when she felt Saeyoung tug on her sleeve subtly and look back at the room they’d just left. Concerned, she followed him back.

    “Something wrong?”

    “Well, no. Just a question about… uh about Saeran.” His cheerful demeanor seemed to have slipped a bit. That wasn't a good sign. He also wasn't making eye contact, a gesture that threw a hundred similarities with Saeran into Mc's face at once. 

    “Yeah?” she swallowed.

    “When… when did he break his nose? He never told me.”

    Oh. “Oh!” she sighed. “The first week of camp. He’d already had it bandaged when he got there, but fell on it again.” Thank god.

    “I see. Thank you.” He sighed too, and patted her shoulder, smiling. “I was worried he… got in a fight or something. Thanks.” He reopened the door.

    Mc followed behind, walking at his shoulder since the hallway was otherwise empty. “You should tell him. That you were worried, I mean.”

    “I don’t think he’ll appreciate it.”

    “Mm. You never know.”

    “If you say so.” Saeyoung shrugged, then peered down at her with a devilish glint in his eye. “On a lighter note! What’s this choreography you’ve got planned for us?”

    “No spoilers, but it’s pretty fun. It’s to the second song you guys sent me, Step, right?”

    “Yeah! I sing lead for it!”

    “Mhm! Come on, they’re gonna wonder where we are.” Mc sped up. She was so freaking excited to work with them. 


	2. Celebrity crushes are weird, dude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bit of backstory following over saeran's shoulder. oh yeah the perspective is gonna change a lot. gotta keep you on ya toes! this is mostly a filler chapter. we get to some real juice next chapter. i hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please dont expect me to update every other day. the comments from last chapter really cheered me up and got my ass in gear for this one but im not normally this productive. i'd like to make the chapters longer, too, since it sometimes feelsl ike not a lot happens, but then again, 3000 or so words feels like a lot for me to write every few days or so.  
> idk we'll see.

    Two months ago.

    Saeran stared at the opened chat box, feeling sick to his stomach. Its last message displayed from months ago. The previous three messages were six or so months apart, dating back two years. Saeran hadn't replied to any of them. He wasn’t even sure _how_ he’d found Saeran’s account. It didn’t matter. Saeran wanted nothing to do with him, but it wasn't about Saeran right now.  
  
    He reached for his keyboard, then pulled his hands back again, groaning.

     _Why_ was it so difficult? Just type the words! Why was he unable to do something so easy?! Useless! Pointless! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

    Saeran ran his hands through his hair and sighed. His opinion of himself seemed to have risen recently. Probably thanks to living near Mc full time, Saeran thought. Dammit. Seems her impact in his life went beyond just preserving it. Dammit dammit dammit.

    He reached for the keyboard again. He really owed her this. After everything, this was the least he could do. Just type. Don't think about who's reading it. Just type it. Do it for Mc. 

     **MightyMorphinMusicianSaeyoung said on December 25 th, 2016:**

                Hey, merry Christmas. Hope you and mom are well. I miss you. If you ever need anything, you can always message me.  

     **You at 11:41, March 9 th, 2017, today:**

                Your group is without a choreographer still, right? 

       
  
____________________________________________________________________________________  
  


    “…six, seven, eight. Ok nice! Remember, since it’s you singing that part, Zen, you can step forward a bit to spotlight yourself. And Yoosung, you’re like, half a beat behind during lines four and five. Do you want me to run through the steps again so you don’t have to watch Saeyoung?”

    “Yes please.”

    Saeran sat by the music, stopping and starting it as needed when commanded and typing on a word document when nobody was watching. Mc was directing the five band members step for step then running through the music once they had it at the right speed (which happened to be very fast for this particular song). They had been set up in the city for a week already and Jumin had them getting right to work. Mc was a fantastic teacher, patient and joking, but also focused and inspired. Watching her work in the field she was most comfortable was a nice change to those child dance classes she used to teach.

    Saeran knew she didn’t mind teaching kids, even that she really loved it, but it wasn’t where she was able to be the most creative. Working with the band was much more suited to her seeing as they already knew somewhat how to dance and she could really go all out. Plus, working for a popular pop band had _tons_ of benefits. Also… she looked like she was having fun.

    Saeran was _really_ trying hard to focus on her fun instead of his own gray cloud. Turns out, seeing his brother regularly was a lot more draining than he’d originally anticipated.

     _Go make up and be close again._ Mc had said. _You deserve it._ Mc had said. _You don’t need to keep being so miserable_. Mc had said.

    Thing is, after three years, Saeran was really good at being miserable. Not so much at anything else, unfortunately.

    He deleted a line of words in the document. It didn’t rhyme right.

    Saeyoung was the talented song writer, hence why he was the one that joined a band three years ago and why he was the famous face that Saeran kept getting mistaken for. This was reasons A through Z for why Saeran never actually published what he wrote. Music or otherwise. It didn’t matter. It wouldn’t ever be as good as him.

    No. Don’t think about that right now. It’s unproductive. Stop comparing yourselves, Mc would say. Saeran shook his head and retyped the line, changing the last few words to English. There. Now it rhymed. His mouth twitched in an almost-smile. Even if it never got published, Saeran did enjoy writing it. That was something at least.

    “Saeran, can we take it from the top?” Mc called from across the room.

    “Mhm.” He rewound the song and pressed play.

    Closing his eyes, he imagined a different tune. The words spelled themselves out faster than he could type them, internally freestyling. Something about isolation and metaphors. Saeran was good at metaphors. When he opened his eyes again, the group was onto the second half and Saeran had written two stanzas. He read back over it, adjusting a few words that didn’t feel right and saved the file. At Mc’s gesture, Saeran paused the music again.  

    “Ok, I think it’s looking solid. We should move onto the solo bits. How do you guys feel about learning to breakdance? Or specific breakdancing moves?”

    “Woah dude. Are you serious? We get to start doing stunts?” Zen’s eyes lit up.

    “Well, as I’m not a b.boy myself, teaching you a whole new style wouldn’t work out on my part, but I would most certainly incorporate it if I you already knew.”

    “I can do handstands and cartwheels, floor spins, and standing flips. Only front flips though.” Saeyoung listed off. Of course he can do those things. Saeran bitterly bit his tongue.

    “I can do a cartwheel.” Yoosung offered.

    “Hmm. Saeran!” Mc snapped him to attention from his lonely corner of the practice room. “Would you be down for trying to teach them some moves?”

    “Uh…” he kind of didn’t want to, but shrugged anyway. A beat later, he realized it’d be interpreted as agreement. Fuck, he needed a better means of nonverbal communication.

    “Great! Jumin, can we fit it into one of the days this week?”

    “Perhaps. V intends to check in on Thursday. If you can learn something within these next two days, I say go for it.”

    “Nice! We can set aside some time for Saeran to help me out, then! I’ll write it on my schedule.” No. Saeran didn’t want that. He didn’t want her to set time aside. Dammit. Stupid inability to speak to an unfamiliar crowd. Stupid pop music. Stupid dancing. Saeran hadn’t done a thing but start and stop the music and he was somehow being dragged further into the situation than he wanted.

    He curled up around himself, hiding himself in the corner of the room further. This fucking sucked. Closing his laptop, he rested his head on his knees. Tomorrow he’d somehow be expected to teach them. He couldn’t even talk to the entire group at once, yet. He tried and failed to picture the lesson succeeding. The anxieties quickly pulled at his stability.

    Saeran was barely keeping himself in the present. His hands shook and he was biting his cheek again. He stood up after another moment of hoping it’d pass.

    He kind of thought he made an excuse as he left, but wasn’t entirely sure. Nothing felt real, especially his own voice. Good thing the route to the front door of the studio was ingrained into his footsteps already. Not even the sun felt real.

    Getting outside helped a bit, but Saeran lit a cigarette the moment he closed the door anyway. Mc would be irritated with him for it later. He didn’t care. The motion brought him back to himself, back to the present, let him think. He relaxed a bit with each breath, leaning against the wall beside the door and letting his senses return one at a time. He could feel the brick wall, smell the smoke, see the cars. He was real, he was here. Dammit, he didn’t want to be here.

    This whole trip was a terrible, terrible idea. Seeing his brother just put him in a sour mood, being around groups of people drained him of energy in seconds, and Mc was too busy to help him through any of it.

    It also brought to light how painfully dependent upon Mc Saeran had become. Fuck, he was pathetic.

     _Try to find something positive, even if it’s something as small as the nice weather!_ Her obnoxious optimism echoed in his ears again. Dammit. Somehow he’d managed to swap out his invasive internal hatred for her constant encouragement. It was weird. She’d say it was a good thing, though.

    Glancing up, Saeran watched the clouds overhead. It was rather gray out, despite a few clear shapes. He did like watching the sky, at least. That was something positive.  

    Saeran was at least being productive. He’d written a bunch in his spare time while waiting for the rest of the band (waiting seemed to be a common motivator for him), and he and Mc did get to hang out more than when she taught child classes.

    Also, the band members themselves weren’t… so bad (sans the obvious exclusion). Jumin, when he wasn’t bossing everyone around or complaining, was quiet and polite. He made for decent company when Saeran didn’t really want to talk much. Zen was obnoxious and pretentious and conceited as hell, but he was entertaining nonetheless. Saeran liked watching him make an ass of himself around the others and overreact over minor things. Jahee was sweet, but Saeran hadn’t really seen much of her outside of jumping through ridiculous hoops at Jumin’s request.

    As for Yoosung… well…

    Turns out the fans’ impression of him was wildly inaccurate.

    Most of the internet sources he’d visited painted Yoosung as this really soft and pure motherly caring figure that loves his friends more than life itself and wears pastels and smiles at babies.

    The actual Yoosung was a remarkable gamer and writer with hysterical rages and hilariously colorful language. He actually wrote most of the rap bridges for their current album, it turned out (even though Saeyoung or Zen would likely end up performing them). Apparently he’d taken to bitching about other members of the band to Zen awhile back and just made jokes when confronted about it.

    He was… something.

    Saeran wasn’t great at accepting crushes on a principle. Admitting he might like the images that appeared online in his brother’s band brought a whole world of fresh self-hatred. Something about one million fans all around the world sharing his sentiments helped, but not enough.

    Meeting the actual thing, just kinda… erased that.

    Saeran figured that in meeting the actual person, the concept seemed a bit less realistic. It felt nice to move on without heartache.

    He put out his cigarette and tucked the crumpled end of it into his hoodie pocket to throw away later. He didn’t really want to go back inside just yet. It was pretty nice outside.

    Beside him, the door opened and Yoosung poked his head out, looking around before stepping out the rest of the way once he noticed Saeran.

    What was that English phrase again? Speak of the devil and he shall come? Something like that. Eh whatever. Saeran straightened his back so he seemed a little less pathetic looking.

    “Hey! You hurried off, thought you might’ve gone home.” His smile was a lot different in person, more realistic. Well… duh.

    “Nah. Just… wanted space.” he hoped he didn’t smell too much like cigarettes. He’d just had one. Mc was probably the only one of them who’d be able to pick out the faint smell, though.

    “I can leave if you want.”

    “No you’re fine. I meant like… space outside of the practice room.”

    “That’s fair. I had to leave because I was too hot. It doesn’t seem too warm when you first get there, then you actually start practicing and suddenly it’s a sauna!” he punctuated his sentiment by brushing his sweat-damp hair out of his face and fanning himself.

    “Yeah, Mc takes her thing pretty seriously.”

    “Mm.” Yoosung seemed to deflate a bit. Saeran watched this out of the corner of his eye and chewed his cheek for a beat, debating on whether or not it was his place to ask. Fuck it.

    “Something wrong?”

    “No. No… well yes, but I don’t wanna get into it today. It’s a nice day. Not the right time to bum you out too.”

    “My resting state of existence is bummed out.” Saeran deadpanned.

    Yoosung snorted and grinned. “Edgy.”

    “Fuck off.”

    “Ha. I’m just messing with you. You’re easier to tease than Saeyoung or Zen.”

    “I’m flattered.” Saeran twitched at being compared to his brother, but otherwise didn’t comment. Shit, was he improving? He made a mental note to ask Mc about it later.

    “Not easier than Jumin or Jahee, though. Jahee is so easy to embarrass, and Jumin… well he’s Jumin.”

    “Right.”

    “But it is nice having you here!” that wasn’t something he expected to hear.

    Saeran raised an eyebrow. “Uh… you sure?”

    He laughed like it’d been a joke. “Yeah! Saeyoung talks about you a lot! Plus, a new face makes the ratio of annoying people to bearable people change for the better.”

    Extra gross. Saeyoung. This was a topic of discussion Saeran really didn’t want to be on. Still. His curiosity had been prodded. “He talks about me? Pray tell, what does he say?”

    “That you guys are twins, and that you’re a dancer.” Yoosung shrugged.

    Figures. Saeran knew Saeyoung followed a few of his online accounts. The celebrity knew the bare minimum about his brother. Saeran preferred it that way.

    “The floorspins and flips he mentioned he said he learned from you.”

    Wait. “What?” That was something Saeran hadn’t known.

    “Yeah! We found him trying to learn them once from a thing online and after Zen and I were done laughing at him on the floor (because he almost broke his hand), he said that he was trying to follow your lil tutorial video.” Huh. So he’d kept up with the tutorials too.  

    “Spins are some of the easiest things to do, I don’t know how he fucked that up.”

    Yoosung laughed again. “Yeah me neither.” He paused again. The topic seemed to have concluded it self and Saeran weakly searched for something to pick it back up with. Yoosung was faster, though. “So, aside from that, what do you think you’re gonna try and teach us?”

    The one thing he’d been panicking about initially and he hadn’t even considered that. Saeran wanted to beat his head on the wall.

    “I’m… not sure yet. Probably faster motions that can be incorporated into what Mc already has prepped. Maybe I can look up some group stunts for finales.”

    “Group stunts like the cheerleader thing Mc was talking about?”

    “Yeah. At camp, this one group’s finale of their final exam routine included throwing one of their members like ten feet into the air. I think Mc was inspired by that.”

    “It sounds cool!” Yoosung grinned.

    “All the final exam routines were cool.” Saeran shrugged.

    “Yours too I bet!”  

    Ha. Haha. “Uh. It was… well I mean… It was alright.”

    The door opened again, and Saeran heaved a sigh of relief. “Yoosung? Oh! Hi Saeran! Thought you went home!” Mc grinned, joining them. He saw her smile flicker once she got closer, but she made no comment.

    “As much as I want to, it’s not close by so I have to stay.” Saeran folded his arms.

    “Stop whining. Saeyoung’s ordering sandwiches. You guys good with meatball?”

    “Yeah.”

    “Sure.”

    “Cool!” Mc grinned. “I heard final exam as I opened the door, what did I miss?” Saeyoung had probably already ordered the food so their responses were unimportant, based on Mc’s insistence upon staying and talking with them. Freaking jerk was probably eavesdropping, actually.

    “Yeah, Saeran was talking about your final exams at camp.” Dammit.

    “Oh those were awesome! Which ones has he mentioned?” she glanced between the two, probably not sure if Saeran wanted to talk.

    “The uh… throwing one?”

    “Pfft. He hasn’t told you anything. Ok, so the assignment was to take a prop or clothing article and use that as your point of reference for the dance. The one he probably mentioned was the cheerleader trio. They chose pom-poms as their item so they had an excuse to use a cheerleader’s move. Some groups used something like shorts as an excuse to twerk, others used scarves, stuff like that!” Mc explained.

    “Oh! That sounds fun! What was you guys’ item?”

    Saeran started to answer, “They were-“

    “WAIT!” Mc practically slapped him with the speed that she covered his mouth. “We should totally show you! The routine I mean!” She beamed wide, like it was a revelation of sorts.

    Was she serious? “Uh.”

    “I’d love to see it!” Yoosung lit up, glancing between the two of them.

    “What d’you say, wanna team up again? I remember the routine step for step if you don’t-“

    “I remember it. Yeah, why not? Just… aren’t we pressed for time this week?”

    “Aw damn, that’s true. Ok! Next week then! After we’ve talked schedule stuff with V and Jumin. Sound good?”

    Saeran thought for a moment, then conceded. “Er… I guess.” Honestly, after all this time, Saeran just figured he’d go with her. Besides, it was a fun routine. 

    “HA! Nice! I’m gonna go tell the others! You guys can let us know when the food gets here! If you’re still hanging around, of course!” with that, Mc darted back into the building, humming something like the one she’d been working with all day. How she was still able to enjoy it after looping it for hours and hours was beyond him.  

    Saeran wondered vaguely if she had some alternative motive for showing their routine to the band in person. If he recalled correctly, she had gotten a video of it that should still be on her computer.

    Whatever, he could think about Mc’s evil villain plan later. He had a dance lesson to consider. Fuuuuck.

    “You ok, dude?” Yoosung looked both amused and concerned by the pinched look on Saeran’s face.

    “Just… trying to think of how I’ll be able to talk tomorrow. It’s so far not looking too optimistic.” at least he'd been around long enough for his social issues to be obvious enough to not be questioned anymore. 

    Yoosung thought for a moment. “It’s just the whole group that bugs you, right? Like, too many people at once.”

    “Sure.”

    “Then teach us in smaller groups! One or two at a time.” He made it sound really simple. Like it was… the obvious solution and… motherfuck. Saeran was dense. Now he _really_  wanted to beat his head on the wall. 

    “Huh. I… hadn’t thought of that." He shifted forward, back to the door. "I should tell Mc- oh no wait, do you want me to stay and wait for the food or-“

    “You go! You gotta plan our lesson! Me and Zen are super pumped to learn stunts so you need all the time you can get to plan it, right?”

    “Uh, yeah. Sure.” Yoosung smiled again as Saeran pulled the door back open. He'd have to see if they had mats to cushion any falls, and probably pick out some songs to practice to, since keeping with the beat was the main principle. He had a lot to get set up. Shouldn't be too hard, though.  
    He managed a sort of half-smile to Yoosung in return as he closed the door again. 


	3. This is where my lack of knowledge of how bands actually live comes to light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> learning stunts and mc finally starts asking questions. summaries are hard, cus i dont wanna spoil anything but i also want you to read the chapter, y'know?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i'm mostly trying to guess here, i seriously have no idea what all goes into songs and making music, Especially when one is, y'know, famous. im trying to make it feel realistic though, i promise.   
> please love me

    The camera wobbled in the first few seconds of the video (uploaded just that morning), then straightened in the hand of the grinning ginger singer. “Hey guys! Sorry it’s been a week or so since my last video. We’ve been _super_ busy with stuff. Got a new album in the works already and getting all the arrangements for that in order is no easy task.”

    The angle shuffled, like he’d handed it to someone else, before he took a step away from it. “But that’s not the big news for this video! You all have been pestering me about our choreographer, and I’m here to deliver answers, finally!” his smile faltered slightly, but the video cut before he could pause too long.

    “We all are going to miss Rika, but luckily we’ve managed to hire a new choreographer! Introducing…. Dun da DA!” The camera panned quickly over to a young woman sat cross legged on a squishy couch of sorts. “MC!!!” she looked up from the notebook in her lap, confused for only a beat before she had hopped up to join the man standing.

    “Omg!!! You’re doing one of your vlogs! I’m in your vlogs now! HAha!” Her hair was kind of in her face, but she otherwise looked equally enthusiastic.

    “Uh, duh! You’re part of the gang now! Ladies and gentlepeoples, meet the lovely Mc! Our excellent new choreographer!” He threw an arm around her shoulder, beaming.

    “Hi all! Find me on Youtube and Instagram to see my previous works in case you wanna see them! Can you link my stuff in the description of this?”

    “Yeah.”

    “Cool!”

    “So Mc is super awesome, you guys! She’s letting us learn all kinds of cool stunts we get to incorporate into our routines! Our videos are totally stepping up from here on in! Also, isn’t she so perdy?!”

    “Daw, gee. I’m so very flattered! You're gonna make me blush over here!” her tone matched his for goofily joking. 

    “This gal’s a keeper, guys! I’ll keep you updated on how this will go!” he stepped away and took the camera back from whomever was holding it while he had presented the new person. “Now, you all were curious about that update on our original shirt designs! Well I can confidently say that it was a huge disaster, thanks to our collective lack of artistic ability…” The video concluded soon after.      

     

    Saeran shuffled through a few of the papers he had notes written on. Motions, step by step instructions for himself to remember, a couple practice exercises. His computer was connected to the room’s speakers in case he wanted to put on music for background.

    Zen was the earliest to their practice, much to Saeran’s surprise. He supposed Yoosung hadn’t been kidding when he said they were eager to learn the stunts. Mc was there too, eager to watch the lesson, despite having no desire to partake. She’d tried to learn this awhile back and kind of broke her wrist in the process. Her presence was still a comfort.

    “So when do we get to start flipping off walls and jumping over sickass barriers?” Zen asked, lingering against the farthest wall.

    “You'll crack the mirror if you lean on it like that.” Zen stood up straight. “And you’re thinking of full-on parkour. While that’s something I _can_ do, it’s not what I’m teaching you today.” Saeran explained, laying out the papers and humming to himself before reordering them.

    “Lame.”

    “Where’s Jumin with those mats? As much as _I_ want to die, I can’t let you guys break your necks with a clear conscience.”

    “I have them!” Jaehee shuffled in, struggling under the weight of the four wrestling mats and an extra tote bag, the ends dragging on the ground. Saeran and Mc quickly rushed up to help.

    “I thought Jumin was bringing these.” Mc said, quickly rolling one out in the center of the room so it was easier to ajust to where they needed it.

    “He was. Then he told me to do it.” Jaehee muttered, slightly to herself. 

    Saeran could see Mc working something out in her head, but didn’t bother trying to point it out yet. He focused on rolling out the other three mats.

    “Hey. Mc, your package arrived too. Jumin also wanted me to bring it since the mailbox at your apartment wasn’t big enough.”

    This distracted her out of her thoughts and she instantly perked up, clapping her hands eagerly. “EEe! Lemme see!” Jaehee's sourness dissipated and she chuckled, handing Mc the bag, who quickly tore it open to inspect its contents. 

    “Yesss!!! Saeran, he found them!” she did a sort of dance in place.

    “Who found what?”

    “Look look!” she skipped over to him by the speaker chord and held open the bag, grinning.

    Saeran paused, staring at the matching pairs of shoes for a moment, dumbfounded. She must have called her brother back home to get him to send the package. “You actually… kept them?”

    “Uh, yeah? Why would I get rid of them?”

    “We only wore them once.”

    “But it was awesome!!!”

    “Uh, hey, pardon my intrusion.” Zen slid up to the two of them, one hand raised. “But you guys are using pronouns and making me and Jaehee here remarkably curious about what’s in the bag.”

    Mc quickly snapped it shut, grinning. “Nope! Nope! It’s a surprise! Thursday! We’ll show you Thursday and it’ll all make sense!”

    “Ughh! You suck!” Zen stuck his tongue out but backed off anyway. 

    “It’s a surprise!”

    “Thursday? I thought we were gonna do it next week.” Saeran raised an eyebrow.

    “Well, we were, but then I realized that after V leaves, we can do whatever we want. That day, outside of making plans with him and sorting through stuff, is a song writing day! So we might as well! Yoosung has been pestering me since yesterday for details and hints. My mind’s a steel trap though! He ain’t getting anything out of me! It still felt cruel to make him wait, though.”

    Saeran rolled his eyes. “You’re so weird.”

    “You guys are building this up so much. I hope it’s worth it.” Zen said, smiling.

    “Shush shush and start learning from Saeran. I’m gonna be checking the steps for By My Side, so I have an excuse to hang around and watch.”

    “At least your honest.” Saeran mumbled.

    Zen grinned and hurried forward. “So you’re totally teaching me first! I got dibs.”

    “Yeah sure. Jaehee, wanna join us?”

    “As long as Jumin’s not here, yes.” She grumbled.  

    “Then I guess let’s… get started.”

          

    “Ok so, lead with your first foot, then step onto your dominant one as you bend down, and kind of… kick yourself off and catch yourself on the ground. Once you’re up I’ll catch your legs so you can balance easier, we can just focus on getting you up first, then balancing. Basic handstands are really easy once you know what you’re doing. There’s also a lot of creative liberty with them, so you can do basically anything with your legs and make it look cool.” Saeran quickly demonstrated by hopping onto his arms, shifting to one hand, then bending one leg to grab his foot with his free hand in one fluid motion. He landed with equal ease. 

    Zen and Jaehee clapped politely before the former stepped up to give it a shot, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. 

    Mc was doing more watching than working. It was nice seeing Saeran a bit more relaxed. As much as he denied that he liked the location change, his demeanor said differently. He was already warming up to the group fast and the daily activities kept his mind busy. Being idle for too long made him stressed and tense, something she’d noticed in the past year. At first she thought he was just missing camp the first few weeks he’d been with her in Thailand, but later she figured it was the lack of structure from day to day.

    She’d suggested he get a job or something but his confrontational spirit and general attitude at strangers didn’t make that easy. It wasn’t like he needed money anyway.  

    Across the room, Jaehee screeched and would have tumbled to the ground if Zen hadn’t caught her. She clutched him for support, then straightened her glasses, giggling.

    “Ok, that… you leaned too far forward. But it wasn’t so bad!” Even Saeran was smiling. “I meant to catch you there, but I thought you had it. Sorry.” 

    “I thought you were going to catch me, so I kept leaning. Haha. It’s all good, Zen has me!”

    “What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t catch a swooning lady?” Zen proclaimed, dropping into a lower and way too exaggerated tone of voice. Mc was starting to pick up on little details of their personalities that they seemed to share and exchange. The voice thing, for example, sounded considerably like something Saeyoung would do. She wasn't sure who was more likely to have started it. 

    Mc could tell Saeran was getting more comfortable with the situation by the minute. “You guys are picking it up well, though. Just wait. In the context of a real routine, stuff like this looks super hot.”

    “Ohh? And how would _you_ know?” Zen waggled his eyebrows and grinned.

    Saeran looked more confused than offended by his suggested question. “I… I actually do this for a living? People comment on my videos.” Mc smirked. He was a bit too clever to fall for Zen’s trap.

    “Oh. Right.”

    Saeran shrugged. “Well, anyway, you should try it again. You won’t be able to do it during a routine unless you’ve kinda mastered stuff like this. Jaehee, maybe you should take off your glasses. Don’t wanna break ‘em.”

    “Good call.”

    Before she could remove them, however, the door to the practice room banged open, startling them all and making Mc drop her notebook. Saeyoung looked to have kicked it in, Yoosung a step behind. He marched in with measured and heavy steps, right up to Zen, whose face he shoved his phone into with a dramatic vengeance.

    “Eat shit Zen! Me and Yoosung are the number one ship! You ain’t ever catching up to these numbers! La-la-la-Loser!” without breaking eye contact, he high fived an equally smug-looking Yoosung.

    Completely baffled, but no less amused, Mc picked her notebook back up and hurried over to see what he was presenting on his phone.

    It was poll results of… what looked like ships between the band members. Holy crap, was this real? The top two were Yoosung and Saeyoung together and Zen and Jahee together, though there was a large margin of difference between the former and latter, the former being considerably in the lead.

    “What?! No way! How the hell did you guys pass us so fast?” Zen demanded.

    “Oh, it was a number of genius tactics on my part, really. I mention Yoosung holds my camera here, like a piece of fanart there. Invite him to lunch that just so happened to be near a hotspot of fan activity…” Saeyoung was grinning like the devil. Mc had no idea what was going on but god damn if Zen didn’t look hilariously pissed off.

    “You dirty cheater! PDA _so_ isn’t allowed!”

    “Augh! You dare accuse me of such?! It was just a lunch between friends! If Yoosung thinks I’m funny enough to laugh at my endearing personality, then who am I to judge how the fans interpret it?” The voice thing! Mc internally swelled with pride upon being able to recognize it. 

    “You fucking prick! I’m not taking this lying down!” Zen glared daggers at him, then whirled around. “Jaehee! We need to sing another duet, pronto!”

    She rolled her head and groaned. “Ughhhh, fine. But you’re writing it this time. Also, I choose the style and beat.”

    “Deal! You two are going down.”

    Saeyoung held out his arms, challenging, but confident. “Try me, heteros! We’ve got this fandom by the dick right now.”

    “Hey real quick! While there’s a lull in whatever kind of trash talk you guys are exchanging, I would appreciate some background here. Because this is hysterical to watch and I think context would greatly improve it.” Mc stepped between the two, smiling.

    “Hypocrite.” Zen muttered, but was drowned out by Yoosung answering her question.

    “Ok so, obviously shipping between band members is popular among fans, it’s weird, but it happens. Every two months or so, we pick teams and try to subtly become the most popular ship before we switch it up again. There are rules, obviously, like no extra PDA to make a relationship actually seem real, but fanservice is totally allowed. As long as V and Jumin don’t shut us down for something, it’s all game. We’ve got plenty of ships to choose from, too, since we re-added V to the potential selection.” He showed her his phone where the list of ships was listed.

    “Oh. My. God.” this was the best thing she could possibly have imagined. Whatever she'd thought of the ships in the fandom before was thrown away in favor or pure hilarity. 

    “We’ll have to add you to the list now, too. Since Saeyoung introduced you in his vlog earlier.” Yoosung grinned.

    “Ok, but, none of you are actually dating?”

    “Nah, but it’s so fun to do this. Beats the alternative, which is being incredibly creeped out by it all.”

    “Oh totally.” She nodded. As a former fan herself, she 100% understood. Band fans could be so creepy.  “So you and Saeyoung are teamed up right now?”

    “Mhm, but we’re switching in another few weeks, so we’re getting down to the final fights. It’s usually Saeyoung and Zen that are neck-and-neck. They only teamed up once, to beat Jumin, who had the lead with V, but then V got engaged and dropped out.”

    “I see.”

    “But V is back in the race… ahem, again and so who knows how the teams will fall next time we pick?” Yoosung faltered, but didn’t pause speaking. Mc made mental note of it for later.

    “I’m kinda surprised Jumin would do this with you guys.” She pointed out. He was a bit of a huge stick in the mud, and the whole game felt incredibly juvenile.

    “Oh dude, he couldn’t care less. It was all V’s show.”

    “HA! Now I really wanna meet this guy. How’d he finagle Jumin into cooperating?”

    “They’re like, childhood pals, or something. He just got Jumin to mention that in an interview then let the fans run with it.”

    “Yeah, Jumin fans are pretty thirsty for content like that, so i can believe it.”

    Zen interrupted their conversation by tugging the door back open. “Ok, nerds. As much fun as it was to learn handstands from Saeran, I have a duet to write. I’m gonna head outta here and get on that. Jaehee, what style did you want?”

    “Tehcno pop.” She didn’t hesitate, mouth twitching.

    “Dammit, Jaehee. You run me hard. Good thing I like a challenge. Saeran! We'll pick this back up tomorrow! I wanna be doing parkour by our next video!” Zen waved a final time and headed out.

    Thinking fast and ahead of her best judgement, Mc quickly followed him out the door.

    “Hey Zen! Wait up!”

     

    Saeran had watched the entire shipping war thing go down with his hands twitching from irritation. Did none of the band members realize how creepy it was for fans to ship real people like that? Why would they encourage something, or even try to control it? That’s just sadistic and creepy, considering how young a lot of their fanbase was. 

    It was probably Saeyoung’s idea originally.

    “Jaehee, did you want to practice more today?” he asked in a low tone, hoping Saeyoung and Yoosung (who were still reveling in their victory) didn’t hear.

    “Yeah! I want to get that move at least stable. Then maybe try one of the spins from your video, if there’s time.” She smiled and pulled her glasses off all the way.

    Saeran’s glanced at her, surprised. “Video?”

    “O-oh! I uh, watched a few a month or so ago. Zen mentioned Saeyoung watching them and I got curious. I don’t remember what the move was called though. It was like, standing on your hands, but with your body horizontal and spinning at the same time?”

    Saeyoung really needed to stop finding his way into Saeran’s conversations that weren’t about him. “That’s a whole collection of moves you just described, but I’ll probably figure it out.”

    “Sounds good!”

    “Oh! You guys were having a lesson! Can we join?” dammit, Saeyoung.

    Saeran glared at him for a defiant beat, then shrugged. Mc would want him to let it go. “Sure. Why not?” he stepped back onto the corner of one of the mats, rolling his shoulders. “We were doing handstands. You need the step by step?”

    “Nah! Watch this!” Saeyoung eagerly tossed off his jacket and glasses before diving down and catching himself on the palms of his hands, then rocked back onto his feet. It was swift, it was smooth, it was perfect. “Eh?”

    Saeran twitched again, posture stiff. “It wasn’t bad. Your legs look awkward though, keep them stiller.” He didn’t notice Yoosung blinking in surprise at the sudden wave of tension between them. Saeran pretended to not notice it too. 

    “Is the offer for a step by step still open? Because I have no idea how to do this.” Yoosung said quickly before tossing off his hat. Beside him, Saeyoung went to try the motion again.

    Saeran forced himself to relax and stop fuming. Think positive. At least Yoosung and Jahee were here. They were both fun. Just focus on those two and not on Saeyoung. 

    “Here ok, let me show you once, slower, then I can help you balance. Jaehee, you two can take turns and then maybe we can balance against the wall or something, just to get an idea of how long you can stay up and which ways you balance best. Sound good?”

    “Yeah!”

    “What about me?” Saeran’s blood boiled at how eager and innocent Saeyoung sounded.

    “You already know how to do a handstand. I don’t care what you do.” Saeran had absolutely no idea how harsh and hurt his tone really was. He could barely hear himself anymore. He just wanted to teach this and move on. Get out faster. That was somewhat positive, right?

     

    She quickly caught up with Zen in the hall where he’d paused to wait at her request. “Sorry to stop you, I get that you’re in a hurry and all, but I wanted to ask a quick question.” Mc fiddled with her notebook, trying to think of a way to phrase it. Her nervous gestures didn’t seem to register as such for Zen, however.

    “Go for it.” He smiled, relaxed.  

    “Ok…” She took a breath, “Yoosung mentioned V’s fiancée in a past tense sort of way. I just kinda… noticed it.” She had a theory but waited for him first.

    Zen’s change in demeanor from chill and lighthearted to serious and awkward easily assisted said theory. He tugged on his hair tie for a second. “Well, I suppose it’s not really a secret but…”

    “Was it Rika?”

    “Yeah.”

    At least she had been right. Mc had many more questions, despite only initially asking for one. She opened her mouth to speak, but Zen cut her off with a hand gesture.

    “Look, I get that this all seems really fishy, and I’m probably the one least affected by it all, so I’m glad you came to ask me, but… not yet. It was… a rough situation and a lot of the story doesn’t really feel like it’s mine to tell. I promise to tell you at some point, though, ok? This just doesn’t feel like the right time yet.”

    Mc nodded. At least he was being honest. That alone was a huge comfort. “I understand. I mean I don’t know what it must have been like, but I do respect you guys’ privacy. And I understand why you want to wait to tell me.”

    “Thanks, Mc. I appreciate it.” Zen quickly switched back to his signature smirk. “We totally just bonded there. Maybe we should team up next shipping match.”

    Well that broke the mood for the better, didn't it? “Oh my god, yesss! I can’t wait.”

    “Gotta finish kicking Saeyoung’s ass with Jaehee first. I should really get on that song.”

    “Right right! You were busy! Go on and write a dumb lovey dovey duet!”

    “Gross, lovey dovey stuff is for European boy bands. I’m skipping the fluff and going for either angst or sensual. Jaehee made the mistake of picking techno pop. I get to use all kinds of electric piano for this. Just you wait!”

    “I might choreograph a slow dance piece just for it!”

    “That would be excellent.” Zen started walking away again and Mc turned back to the practice room as well, before he called back one last time. “You really are a keeper, Mc!”

    She couldn’t hide her grin so she hoped the rest of them were too busy to notice. 


	4. Pep talk and Step up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V comes to evaluate their progress thus far and Saeran gets a pep talk from an unexpected person for an unexpected reason.   
> Damn that's vague.   
> aka: how do i finally break this character out of his constant loop of angst before i get bored of writing it and yall get bored of reading it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear to god i'm going to get to the sexual tension next chapter. ive got it all planned out just. bear with me for one more.

 Two years ago.   
  


    Saeran shuffled his feet and carefully avoided people’s eyes. The contact lenses made his own eyes water occasionally, being unused to them still, but he otherwise just looked bored. Despite his attempts to blend in, he still stood out among the eagerly chattering crowd of students. Maybe it was because most of the students were locals, maybe it was because they all looked interested in actually attending the camp.

    He didn’t care. He wasn’t here to make friends, he was here to get out of Korea for a change and clear his head. Stop thinking about his family, or V, or anything else. Just do what he enjoyed.

    Most of the students around him were close to his age, late teens or early twenties. A few students looked older, but he was pretty sure those were the teachers. He hoped they assigned dorms soon, his bag was heavy.

    He was steadily getting more and more self conscious with his two large bags, like he’d over packed. He hadn’t wanted to leave anything behind for his family to find. Maybe he’d ditch some of it later.

    One of the downsides to being in America for the foreseeable summer was that, despite having tried to cram weeks ahead of time to try and get better at the language, he was still missing huge chunks of conversation being exchanged. He really hoped he didn’t have too noticeable of an accent. He would rather not stand out for that.

    One of the upsides to being in America, however, was that he hadn’t been recognized once, thank christ. Maybe getting contact lenses and bleaching the fuck out of his hair a week ago had helped. (It was a botched job, though, and his hair was a really weird yellow color. He’d probably redo it soon)

    He tried to let that fact calm his nerves a bit. Maybe he could actually meet and talk to people while he was there. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. 

    An attractive boy with long hair covering one side of his face waved at him from across the gathering room and Saeran managed a smile in return.

    Yeah. Maybe it would be alright here.

    “AAAAAIEEEE!!!!!!” The heard himself land before he felt it.

    It took him a full four seconds to comprehend that he had fallen over, and another two to register to person lying atop him. Saeran was about to ask if they were alright, when it became abundantly apparent that they had initiated the collapse.

    Had. Had he just gotten glomped?

    Oh god no.

    Never mind, this was a terrible idea.

    “OHMYGODOHMYGODOMYGOD!!!!!!!! AIEEEEE! It’s Saeyoung Choi! I can’t believe it’s really you! This is the best day of my life!!!”

    “Get the fuck off me!” Saeran reacted like he’d been electrocuted, ripping his arms away and shoving her body off of his, feeling sick.

    She retreated but didn’t instantly register his disgust. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to get excited! I’m just-AH! This is so cool! I never thought- All the way out here! I’m just!” She took a breath and brushed long hair out of her face. “I’ve been a fan of your group for a whole year now, I’ve got both of your albums and all your solo stuff downloaded! OH! If i burned a cd with just your solos would you sign it for me?!??”

    “Shut up! Stop talking like that! Stop talking!” He pushed himself to his feet. “I’m not Saeyoung Choi, and if I was, you would have just earned yourself a restraining order for assault, you brat!”

    Her face faltered and he glared harder. “Who do you think you are?!”

    “B-but… you’re not-”

    “No! I’m not!” he turned and stormed out of the hall, snatching up his bags as he went with shaking hands. Behind him, he could hear sniffles coming from the girl and a few people mumbling something behind his back.

    Whatever. He didn’t care. Let them talk shit, Saeran couldn’t understand most of it anyway.

    He never wanted to hear the name she’d shouted again.

    He managed to get to a bathroom before he completely melted down.

 

  
  
  
  


    Mc had a lot of theories about what kind of a person V would be. At first she’d thought he might be uptight and stiff, much like Jumin. Then, after Yoosung’s story about the shipping wars she started to think that maybe he was a bit more relaxed and fun. The quiet, timid, and generally soft air was rather… unfitting for someone so… tall, dark and colorful.

    Of course she’d seen pictures of him before, but they really didn’t do him justice. And Mc had thought she felt short compared to the rest of the band before.

    Jumin was a lot less nervous about impressing him now that he was there, as well. Yoosung had said they were childhood friends so maybe spending time together relaxed him. 

    Either way, V was definitely a good manager/director/agent. Mc suspected that Rika used to assist with that, but he seemed perfectly capable of doing it on his own. Once he arrived, he wasted no time in explaining the deadlines he’d set for them and the tour he had announced to start in 6 months, just a few weeks after the release of their next album (which was ahead of schedule so far, thanks to Zen and Jaehee's duet).

    He was a song-writing machine when properly motivated, it would seem.

    None of these things could make Mc relax her own anxiety about meeting V, however. The knowledge that their last choreographer had been his fiancée put her just a bit on edge. How the hell was she supposed to measure up to her? Nothing she seemed to do could alleviate these worries and she kept freaking herself out anew whenever she thought about it, which was every few seconds considering the rapid approach of his evaluation.

    “Now you know what it’s like in my head constantly. Except nothing is ever wrong.” Saeran muttered from the floor of the practice room, where Mc had been pacing back and forth across for the past ten minutes, describing her nerves. Jaehee was hiding with them, too, but hadn’t commented on Mc’s fidgeting thus far. “Couple that with knowing that nothing is ever actually wrong and you get pent up rage and frustration too.”

    “Is that why you’re so grouchy all the time?”

    “That’s exactly why I’m so grouchy all the time. Glad you finally have a clue.” He smiled without actual emotion in his eyes.  

    Mc dragged her hands through her hair, groaning. “Aughh!!! Saeran! Help! I’m not used to dealing with this! I really want to impress him, but there’s no way I can measure up to Rika!”

    “Why are you trying so hard to compare yourself to her? You never even met her.” Jaehee spoke up.

    “I’m not trying to compare myself! I just don’t want to disappoint him because I’m in her shadow. I feel like I’m starting at a huge disadvantage here!”

    “I think you should relax. V’s a really good guy, he’s not going to let that sort of thing sway his opinion. He has the band’s best interests at heart, I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

    Mc blinked, feeling warm, then rounded on her companion. “Saeran, take notes, that’s how you comfort a distressed friend!”

    “Jaehee, stop making me look bad.” Saeran deadpanned, eyes closed.

    Jaehee glanced away, fighting off a smile. “Well… you make it so easy.”

    They both sat up in surprise, then Mc grinned, “WOahhh!!! Get dragged through the _mud_ , Saeran!” Jaehee giggled at her while Saeran put a hand over his heart, his face still bored.  

    “Damn. You cut deep, Jaehee.”

    “Is he gonna take it lying down? Is he gonna take it? He’s gonna take it! Aw hell!” bantering with Saeran again was calming her down, thankfully.

    “God, shut up, Mc.”

    Someone knocked on the door to the practice room (a gesture that nobody had yet to use in the past three weeks) before it clicked open and V stepped in, Jumin in tow.

    “…think we’ll be able to film next week at this rate.” Jumin was saying.

    Mc’s anxieties returned full force.

    V seemed to look around the room, some kind of nostalgia in his eyes, before looking at Mc. His smile was soft and friendly when he offered his hand. “You must be Mc, it’s a pleasure.”

    “Ye-ah!” her voice broke and she quickly coughed to try and cover it. “Ahem, sorry, Yeah! Nice to meet you too! I’ve heard a lot about you.” God, did she sound stupid? She probably sounded stupid there. Dammit.

    “And I, you. Jumin tells me you were recommended by Saeyoung?”

    “His brother connected us, actually!” this seemed to warrant a reaction from V, as his eyebrows went up.

    “His… brother?” glancing behind her, she saw his eyes settle on Saeran and widen with recognition. “Saeran! I wasn’t expecting to see you too.” Had they met before?  Mc spun around to raise an eyebrow at her best friend. He’d never mentioned it to her. Weird.

    Saeran didn’t meet her eyes and instead stared directly back at V, face empty, voice guarded. “V.”

    “You… uh, you look well. I see you changed your hair.”  Holy crap, was this some meeting between mortal enemies? Mc could cut the tension between the two with a knife it was so thick. How did the air get so stuffy so fast? V was clearly trying to smile and look nice, but something about his weak tone and guilty posture kind of made it hard to believe.

    “Yeah.” Saeran was still completely expressionless. “You ditched the sunglasses.” Mc met Jumin’s eyes, only to find her own surprise and confusion mirrored there.

    “Yes, thankfully my sight has begun to return with treatment. And… your health?”

    “None of your business.” he bit back. 

    “I-Yes, right. Of course. I suppose that’s…” V shook his head and looked back at Mc. “We were talking about you, Mc! I didn’t mean to get distracted there.”

    “No it’s fine. I’d hate to stop… whatever kind of reunion this is?” her tone clearly suggested that she wanted an explanation, but V didn’t offer one.

    “It’s unimportant for now. I came to evaluate your progress and choreographies. We were hoping to film the next video soon, as in within the next few weeks, soon. To do that, the choreography has to be completed. Are Saeyoung, Yoosung, and Zen around?” His eyes darted back to Saeran for a beat before moving to the door. The detail wasn't lost on Mc. 

    “Jaehee, go and fetch them, would you?” Jumin ordered.

    Ok, freeze frame here; Was it just Mc noticing details or did Jumin always go to ordering Jaehee around first? Not that there was a lot of time to ever think about it, but Mc was positive she’d noticed some different kind of relationship there, and it wasn’t a positive one. She’d have to ask about it later, when she had time.

    Maybe it wasn’t her place, though. She’d probably have to question Jaehee and Jumin about it separately. She was already pretty sure that Jaehee took issue with this predicament, based on how often she avoided the guy. For now, she couldn’t do anything with V there. Later. She’d think about it later. 

    Jaehee had already sighed and shuffled out, anyway.

    “I’ll go help her.” Saeran quickly excused himself, too, though almost definitely to not go actually find the others. Knowing he was likely to go hide somewhere, Mc hoped he didn’t go back to his apartment. She still wanted to do their routine later, but if V’s arrival had upset him she wouldn’t force him.

    She took a breath. This hadn’t thus far gone how she’d hoped. She put on a smile to try and mask her depleted optimism. “So, the choreography for Step Up, would you like to read over the notes before they show it so far? It’s just about finished, minus a few details including solo parts. I, uhm… Saeran was showing them how to do a few stunts that I figured could be incorporated. This’ll be the first time I see them all together myself, too!”

    “He’s teaching them stunts? That sounds… nice.” V looked… actually happy about that? Well that was a huge change from before. Was he just acting guilty then or was he afraid to show actual concern for Saeran or something? “You two are… friends?” The squint in his eye clearly conveyed a different question. Ha. Haha.

    “Best friends, actually. We met at camp.” Mc said quickly, smiling. Neither was she going to outright state the multiple issues with assuming they were a couple, nor deny it. Not without Saeran there.

    Actually, he barely reacted to that part, instead perking up at the second . “Oh! He went to the camp after all! That’s good to hear!”

    “Might I inquire as to how you and Saeran know each other?”

    “Well, uhm, I’m not sure if he- If I have- If he’d want-“  V stumbled over himself before shaking his head. “perhaps you should ask him.” Then he quickly returned his attention to Mc. “I would love to read over the choreography notes.”

    It wasn’t an especially smooth change of subject, but Mc figured she wouldn’t press for information now. Damn. She really needed to make a list of stuff she would do later.

     

     

 

  
  
  


    He wasn’t having a full panic attack, not yet, but his hands wouldn’t stop flexing and fidgeting and his breathing wasn’t right either and it felt like there were insects crawling over every inch of his skin.   
    Calm. Down. Deep breaths, in and out.

    It wasn’t working very well and Saeran desperately wished Mc was there with him.

    No, she was busy. He needed to grow up already. Dammit.

    Saeran threaded his hands through his hair to try and still them. It helped a little, pulling on the strands gave him something to focus on instead of his own body that was still actively going into meltdown mode.

    Take a breath and try and sort out what caused it, then wait and let it pass. Instructions from the only person who’d ever earned and kept Saeran’s trust. He tried to follow them.

    Ok, V was there. Saeran knew that much. He’d been prepared to see him, he thought he could handle it. God he was such an idiot. 

    No, it wasn’t just V’s presence. It was his concern. Saeran had stopped letting people be worried for him when he’d cut off contact with V. Mc was an anomaly. V didn’t deserve to be worried for Saeran. Saeran didn’t deserve to be worried about. At least Rika had recognized that and left him alone. Why couldn’t V have been the one to disappear?

    V only ever pretended to be what he thought people wanted him to be. He was a liar and Saeran had been an idiot to think he’d be able to deal with seeing him again. Saeran was an idiot in general, it would seem. Everything and everyone he couldn’t stand to see was suddenly back in his life through no one’s fault except his own. He hated it, hated himself. Mc's infuriating optimism had made him start to overestimate himself. 

    The door opened and light flooded the small room. Saeyoung half hoped/expected it’d be Mc, but after blinking and letting his eyes adjust was met instead with thoroughly unimpressed looking Zen.  

    “Ok, that’s enough moping. Come on, we got a routine to show off. Hup hup. Let’s go.” He clapped twice, not specifying if he meant his own routine or Saeran and Mc’s.

    “Wh-“ before Saeran could protest, he was dragged to his feet by the hood of his sweatshirt. “Hey!” fuck, he wasn’t aware that Zen was strong enough to do that. He was equal parts shocked, annoyed, and impressed. 

    “Yeah, yeah, complain later. Jumin’s already gonna have my ass for making them all wait on us.” He tugged him out into the hallway.

    Saeran planted his feet and wrenched himself free. “Stop it! Zen- Let me go!”

    “Ok, but you’re not going back to hiding in the recording studio. V will already pissed about being in there without him. He’s super particular about that equipment.”

    “I’m not going back to the practice room.” He folded his arms.

    “That part wasn’t up for debate. Let’s haul ass.”

    Saeran clenched his teeth. “Let me rephrase, I can’t go back to the practice room. Not with V there.”

    Zen took a long breath reminiscent of Jumin and rolled his eyes. “Look, this emo shit has really gone on too long. If someone doesn’t drag you out from under your little raincloud soon, the readers are gonna get bored.”

    “What the fuck are you talking about?”

    “I get that you have some beef with V and your bro, but you really aren’t fixing anything by just being a dick about it all. I’ve been there and honestly, you’re lucky you got a pep talk out of me at all! I am not a pep talk kind of guy, but I like you, Saeran. You and MC make a good duo and even I can tell she’s worried about you.”

    Saeran found himself unable to respond. Zen continued, “Learning stunts this past week has been really fun, and something tells me you don’t do stuff like that much. I’m not great at reading people or cheering people up, but I really want you to come back to the practice room. It feels cruel to make Yoosung wait another day for you guys’ dance thing. Also…” he grinned sheepishly. “I totally need a smoking buddy to get Jumin off my ass a bit.”

    Well that this changed the subject rather abruptly. “How’d you know I smoke?”

    “Smelled it on you a few days ago. Figured it was a coping mechanism of sorts, so I can relate. Don’t let Jumin catch you though, he’s caught me a grand total of twice and I got this twenty minute lecture both times about how it’ll kill my voice.”

    Yeah, Saeran could picture that. “It will, though.”

    “My voice has a looong way to go before that happens. My looks will be gone before then so I’ll take my chances.”

    “If you say so.” shit, had they been walking that whole time? They were already back at the practice room. That might have been the fastest anxiety attack Saeran had ever gotten over. All he needed was a distraction? Huh. 

    Zen put one hand on the door. “You coming in? I suppose I can’t force you, but I kinda hoped my shitty, rushed pep talk might’ve convinced you.”

    Saeran gave him a shrewd smile. “Yeah, it didn’t do shit, but... thanks for trying anyway." he was lying. Zen had helped a lot. Saeran just wasn't entirely sure how. "Give me like, ten minutes to finish calming down and I’ll join you guys. Ok?”

    “Sounds good. Though I would’ve appreciated the backup. Jumin will still be so pissed.”

    He hummed once, half smiling. “Good luck.” 

 

     

     

    “Ok.” Mc took a breath, heart pounding. They'd finished discussing the papers and written steps, now it was time for the demonstration. She could do this. Just relax. Thank god Saeran had come back. She needed her friend there as a comfort. “Ok you guys ready? Please make me look good.” She wrung her hands uncertainly while they got into position. Zen stood at the center while the rest formed a sort of circle around him. Saeyoung and Yoosung at the front of it crouched down while the rest stood with arms folded.

    She nodded for Saeran to start the music, glancing once more at V’s encouraging smile. Good christ, she hadn’t ever been this nervous for one of her _own_ performances. Internally she started counting the eight beats, keeping up with the song from practice.

    The music started, climbing down and up the scale, then there was a drop of the bass, and the two crouching bounced up, all four sliding out and away from Zen, then back in time with his recorded introduction rap.

    He cheered and they stepped away one at a time, doing their own freestyle steps and motions while they moved into a line, allowing Saeyoung and Yoosung an opportunity to cartwheel themselves to either end.

    This was… looking very polished already. Mc’s nerves started to dissipate.

    Zen cheered again and they stepped in synch, right foot, left, one arm up, then bent to catch the other and swing forward, leading into a crouch, again framing Zen. One step back, then sliding forward and switching places. They took a wide step out, carrying their bodies to turn sideways lean backwards. The first step sequence was well underway. 

    With a quick step, Zen moved out of the way for Jumin to take the lead vocals. Their lip synch was already on point and they hadn’t even practiced the dance plus the vocals yet. Wow.

    The music rose in intensity. Down and up, in time with the beat, then spinning when they were to speak together. Group up, then separate so Saeyoung can slide on his knees into the center and take lead from Jumin.

    They lined up again diagonally, spun around, then back again with a motion of their arms, a perfect ripple. Mc grinned. This looked great!

    The first verse came to a rising close, leading to the chorus. They jumped as one and stepped forward. Mc had been worried the step style looked goofy, but on them it wasn’t so bad. Add that to them not pausing for the arm gestures and quick changing of position and the goofiness was easily lost in favor of watching the rest.

    They stepped around for Zen to take lead again, and brought the second part of the chorus in, legs moving but feet staying still while they swayed back and forth, crouched down, then turning and gesturing over their shoulders.

    The third section of the chorus had them in another diagonal line, stiff and pulsing with the beat, before the second verse started.

    Saeyoung in the lead now, they bent their bodies forward double and pivoted in four beats, took two steps forward, repeated the motion in reverse. Saeyoung, meanwhile, worked the spotlight, walking with them but doing his own twisting motions at the stops. They then slid into a single line behind him.

    Crouched down, then a spin, they separated, allowing Yoosung to step into the center and get the next few steps in before they returned to a diagonal line, backs to the audience. The music built and they repeated the earlier ripple, Saeyoung back in lead.

    The chorus repeated and Mc had stopped counting without realizing, just enjoying watching them perform.

    Where the second and third half of the chorus was previously, led way to the bridge. They once again converged in a circle around Zen, though all of them standing this time.  They slowly rolled their heads then the front three (Jaehee, Yoosung, and Saeyoung) bent forward as Zen lowered his hands. He stepped forward while they stepped back, then vice versa.

    Turning their bodies into the circle, then spinning, they broke the formation and stepped into another line. Jumin took the vocals there while the rest crouched down and back up, alternating in a line and walking forward.

    Zen counted down before returning to the front and mouthing his next piece of the bridge rap. They stepped out, in, then pivoted back into formation behind him. Zen had just enough time to jump out of the way for Jaehee to front flip over a crouching Yoosung and cartwheel back into line in the span of only four counts.

    Mc’s mouth had dropped open. When had Saeran taught her _that?!_

    They repeated the motions of the chorus, this time in two groups overlapping, then stepping back to frame into a circle to repeat the steps from the second half. A few additional motions of their own were added every so often to build up the end of the routine. In one motion, they’d slid back into their starting position.

    With the song’s abrupt end, they finished crouched down, panting but otherwise still. Her heart soared. It was perfect! They were perfect! Mc completely forgot about V and threw herself into the group, arms around three of them, cheering.

    “AHAHAHA!!! GUYS!!!! That was great!!! I didn’t know you had it all so polished! Ahahaha!!!”

    “Ack! Yoosung help!” Jumin and Yoosung seemed to be the only two not squeezed in her arms while Zen took the brunt of the hug.

    “You watched us practice it yesterday!” Jaehee seemed to be fighting off equal amounts of giggles, attempting to hold her upright.

    “Yeah but I hadn’t seen it with the stunts!!! I didn’t know you had it so steady already! That was amazing!”

    Jaehee was faltering under the praise. “Aw, gee. I wasn’t even planning to do it, but then in the moment I just… went for it.”

    “It looked great!”

    Her face pinked. “You think so?” Aww.

    “Yeah! I- wait! V!” Mc quickly scrambled to stand up straight and address him. “What did you think? You’re the one evaluating us! Was that too unprofessional? I completely forgot, I just got so caught up in watching them, and-and I thought it looked so cool I just-”

    “Mc.” he rested a hand on her shoulder, smiling and silencing her frantic rambling. “It was fantastic. The routine is remarkable and already looking so polished after only a few weeks of practice!”

    “That’s just what I was thinking!” She heaved a heavy sigh of relief.

    V turned to the band members, “Jumin, see about contacting the crew and arranging some times for filming. I’d like to get a jump start on at least two music videos out before we drop the album.” Jumin nodded. “I’d really like to stay longer, but I was unable to schedule a meeting with a venue owner for any other day. I think Sunday I should have a chance to come by again. If you can get it polished and perfect, we can film the mirror practice video and then the following week work on the music video. I’ll send you all the schedule once I’ve sorted it out on my flight today.”

    “You’re leaving already?” Mc frowned, he’d barely been there an hour.

    “Yes, planning a tour isn’t easy. I have to travel to the locations ahead of time to secure them and many other arrangements. Though it is still several months away, these things need to be secured. But I’ll be back. Mc, if I have internet this evening, I’d love to email you about the progress, does that sound alright?”

    “Yeah! Of course! If there’s anything else I can help out with, just let me know!” maybe she was overcompensating a bit, but she was almost positive that Rika did half of the things V had just listed off. It must be incredibly stressful on his own.

    “I will. Really, excellent work, all of you.” he smiled and patted her shoulder again, before waving at the rest of the gathered band and leaving.

    The group was already chattering about their practice when she heard V’s car drive away. After taking a heavy sigh of relief and relaxation, she spun back around to face her company, feeling giddy. 

    “So! I believe Saeran and I have a dance to show you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the song/dance i used for reference for this chapter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSb4OnUmEug   
> i didnt want to go all out with the flips just yet. that can be the imaginary hypothetical finished product.


	5. wiggle wiggle wiggle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mc and Saeran show off their own skills, and i'm finally kickstarting the sexual tension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the dance they perform is a mixture of two things i found  
> it starts with this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XkQksrVLf4  
> then finishes with this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1Lo2bangnk  
> and the song is Jason Derulo's Wiggle >:3c

   Saeran groaned internally at his task. He really, really didn’t want leave the studio and apologize to the girl. She’d assaulted him, why should he say sorry?

    Malee Chayond was the name someone else had said. Saeran couldn’t care less. But she had apparently been crying on the front steps for the past forty minutes while he’d had his little bitch fit in the bathroom.

    At least the student who’d found him there had been very helpful in understanding his panic attack. Either way, Saeran had hurt her feelings long term so he had to fix it somehow. Ugh. He hated having to be mature about situations. Why couldn’t people just ignore him and let him live in a bubble of anxiety and depression in peace?

    He hadn’t paid attention before to how she looked, but walking out the door, he took the time to do so (but he wasn’t stalling). She had dark hair just past her shoulders and darker skin than Saeran. She wasn’t wearing the baggy sweat clothes that most of the other students were, but looked to have gone more for less clothing to stay cool, wearing a short sleeved crop top and leggings.

    California was pretty hot this time of year.

    Ughhh, he couldn’t just stand there and stare at her. He needed to say something or he’ll have come all this way for nothing.

    He hesitantly cleared his throat to get hers and the girl patting her back’s attention. The latter glared at him as if to say ‘watch what you say’ while the former quickly wiped her eyes and stood up.

    “Oh my god! I’m so, so, so sorry for knocking you over! I was trying to hug you but I got excited! I swear I didn’t mean to! I thought you were-”

    “No, no, don’t say- just- stop talking- stop!” thank god. He cut her off before she said his name again. “Look, you seem nice, I’m sorry I screamed and stormed off. I’ve had a long day. I just. It stressed me out. I’m sorry. I came to apologize, you… don’t need to.”

    The second girl looked a bit less hostile. Fuck if Saeran cared what she thought.

    The girl wiped her eyes and offered a watery smile as well as her hand. “Maybe we can just start over. This has been… a weird day.”

    Saeran learned he didn’t mind handshakes. He made a mental note for the future. “You have no idea.” he agreed.

    “Malee. My pals call me Mc, it’s my initials. You can call me that too, if you want.” She looked kinda hopeful. Gross.

    “Saeran Choi. I don’t have pals so I don’t have a nickname.”

    Her eyes grew wide. Wider than before. Shit.

     

     

     

    “Oh my god, finally!” Yoosung groaned, throwing his hands into the air and earning a giggle from Mc.

    “It’s nothing that special, y’know. There aren’t huge stunts or group moves like in you guys’ routines.” Saeran could have argued, but didn’t. From where he was leaning against the practice bars, he was right beside the main group, excluding Jumin, Jaehee, and Saeyoung, who were retrieving chairs to sit on.

    “Yeah but you guys have built it up for like a week now, I wanna know what the secret item you used was and I want to see how you guys graduated camp!”

    “Ok ok, fine. Let me just run and grab the bag.” Mc smirked before sliding out of the practice room, looking giddy. Saeran leaned against the practice bar and thought about the routine. He didn’t have stagefright or any concerns about the dance, but he was still pretty sure Mc had some kind of ulterior motive up her sleeve. Maybe he’d take off his hoodie for it, he’d hate to overheat. Probably a bad idea, though. Saeyoung had planned to watch. Actually, fuck him, if Saeran wanted to, his brother would just have to deal with it. This would probably bite him in the ass later, but his mind was set.

    “So what do you think the secret item for the dance is gonna be?” Zen grabbed a chair from the far wall and sat down backwards on it(a remarkably douchey pose but Saeran didn’t comment), directing the question at Yoosung.

    “I dunno. Something cool, hopefully.”

    “What if it’s like, spandex or lingerie or something?” Zen grinned devilishly.

    Yoosung snorted. “Something tells me that those aren’t it. Of all the things I think Saeran would wear, spandex isn’t one of them. Saeyoung, maybe- no he definitely would wear something like that, but not Saeran.”

    “Ha! True!”

    “I’m right here, you know.” Saeran butted in

    “Saeran! Welcome to the conversation! Didn’t know you wanted to participate.” Zen grinned. Saeran twitched at his mockingly chipper tone.

    “Well you are talking about me.”

    “Speaking of which, I’m kinda surprised you’re ok with performing for us.” Yoosung smiled. Saeran had the feeling that everyone had been thinking it. Kudos to him for being the only one brave enough to mention it.

    “I don’t have a problem doing something rehearsed and perfected. It’s like, the one thing that doesn’t give me anxiety.” Saeran shrugged. “Talking, and doing anything else, ehh, not so much. I wouldn’t have agreed to showing you guys if i wasn’t prepared to actually do it. Besides, we performed it for the camp, why are you guys any different?”

    “You’ve technically known us for less time than your camp buddies.”

    Saeran raised an eyebrow, teasing. “Camp buddies?”

    He didn’t get a chance to be sarcastic about the concept before Mc returned. “Got them!” she paraded back in grinning triumphantly. In her hands, she displayed the matching pairs of shoes. Saeran smirked affectionately and pushed his back off the wall to accept his pair.

     

    High heels. The secret item was a pair of matching (albeit different sized), black, leather, 4 inch, pointed high heels. Yoosung’s face split into a grin. Omg.

    Zen’s face too, had lit up upon seeing the secret item. “Oh my god.”

    Mc waved them back and forth for a moment, grinning. “Our selected item happened to be these.” ok maybe it wasn’t so strange to imagine Mc performing something in heels, but Saeran? He’d been joking about the spandex earlier, but maybe he and his brother weren’t so different.

    Saeran cracked his neck and winced, before kicking off his sneakers. “Ok, let’s get this over with.” He didn’t look as embarrassed as Yoosung expected. He looked more bored with it. That was a shame, because Zen clearly wanted to tease him for it.

    “Ok, before you start,” he (Zen) leaned forward in his chair while they both sat down to zip up the boots. “Why high heels as your item? What inspired you? And what did the rest of your camp think?”

    Mc counted each question off on her hand. “Ok, one, they look cool and there’s a difficulty to wearing them and dancing effectively that other shoes don’t capture, also leg movements and hip motions look sexier.” she tested the first shoe, then continued. “Two, I got inspired by a drag show. I don’t remember the queen’s name now, but she was gorgeous and I couldn’t stop thinking about how amazing she was moving in her shoes.” she strapped on the second and stood up. “Three, the camp loved it, but the only way to really recapture what they thought is to experience it yourselves.” Satisfied with how they fit, she bent forward to touch her toes and stretch her legs.

    Saeran stood up to stretch too, copying her motions. They weren’t normal warm up stretches, obviously the strain on their legs would be different. Maybe it was just Yoosung, but they both looked to be moving their hips differently when they walked. Kind of more swaying and shifting of their weight. Saeran should wear high heels more often, he thought vaguely, they suited his legs.

    Mc walked over to their music and the rest of the group was finally pulled to attention. Even Jumin had hung around to watch instead of rushing off to do whatever else it was he did.

    He looked to think about it for a minute, before Saeran pulled off his hoodie and Zen wolf whistled. Yoosung could swear he saw his mouth twitch.

    Beside him, Saeyoung hissed in a breath at something. Yoosung didn’t get a chance to ask as Mc had just dashed up to her spot and the music started.

    Jaehee stood beside Yoosung while the opening tune played, some whistling tune, the rest of the watching crowd sat in chairs. He swore he recognized the song. It wasn’t old, or especially new, probably american and-

    The vocals started and Yoosung’s eyebrows rose.

    Did they seriously perform their final exam to Jason Derulo?

    The first line of actual lyrics happened and the beat dropped, as did Mc and Saeran. Right into a split.

    Yoosung jaw dropped.

    The flute beat carried them back to their feet and they rolled their torsos in synch, bending into a crouch. The step sequence brought them back, then forth, then to the ground entirely again.

    They rolled their bodies to the first verse, then stood back up, stepping right, then left, then whipping their heads back up with sass. Mc’s long hair finally seemed to have a purpose in the context of this.

    Their chests and arms popped back and forth with the time of the vocals, and holy shit were they getting it! Mc had this devious smirk plastered across her face while Saeran had stopped scowling for a change, in leu of a focused glare. That was… distractingly sexy. Yoosung’s mouth got drier the longer he watched.

    As commanded by the chorus, they wiggled their bodies in step with their feet, then dropped back to the floor and up again without missing a beat. Zen whistled once more.

    Cadillac, cadillac, pop that trunk.

    The room suddenly felt much too warm.

    Together (though he really wasn’t watching Mc anymore) they swung one arm up, while gesturing with a finger. Mc winked. Yoosung didn’t notice. Shoulders pulsed twice with the beat, they they threw their arms to the side with attitude. They spun then rolled torsos again, legs bent. Still crouched, they leaned on one leg and shook their hips once.

    They spun so their backs faced them, then with a cheer of encouragement from Derulo in the music, snapped their hips back. The music grew in anticipation for the chorus again, and they crossed hands to accentuate their chests jerking with the beat.

    They kicked one leg up, spun, then-

    Holy shit.

    Practiced perfectly, they tossed their legs into the air, catching the ground with their hands, rolled their bodies along the ground, then hopped onto their knees.

    Arms thrown back, they rolled (thrusted? Synonyms) their hips at the air and Yoosung’s brain just... shorted out.

    Feeling the energy and mood of the song finally, Saeran smirked too, and ran his hand across his mouth while he crouched first on one knee, then back on his feet.

    The music snapped twice more before leading to the end of the chorus, and Mc and Saeran dropped back to the floor on one leg, the other straight out.

    Straight. Ha.

    Though the song continued, Mc grinned and stood back up, dropping into a bow with a wide smile. Saeran leaned forward on his knees, still smirking.

 

    “Wooo!” Zen and Saeyoung jumped to their feet cheering like shitty, obsessed fangirls while Jaehee beamed and clapped. Even Jumin looked impressed, though he quickly excused himself with a glance at his phone. Yoosung was still frozen, gaping at them like a fish, taking in the scene but not really processing anything except Saeran while he pulled the heels off again.

     “I’ve never seen you go all out like that, Mc! That was awesome!” Saeyoung gushed while she offered a hand to Saeran still on the ground.

    “Saeran, you have got to teach us to move like that. Imagine the fanservice!” Zen remarked, eyes still wide with excitement.

    Saeran shrugged. “Yeah, uh, sure.” the mood from the song gone, he had quickly retreated back to his dull, uncomfortable attitude when addressed by a group of people. Recognizing that, Yoosung was able to snap out of his daze.

    He blinked hard and shook his head roughly to clear it, then quickly moved to congratulate them as well before they took notice of how warm he still felt.

    “Seriously guys, that was so cool! How long did you have to choreograph it?”

    Mc answered, “About two weeks. We practiced other things between it, though. I mostly choreograph things by freestyling the song for a few loops before I have something in mind so it didn’t really take that long.”

    “That’s incredible!”

    “Nah, Saeran totally did the second half anyway.”

    Yoosung turned his attention back to Saeran. “You choreograph stuff too?” up close, the dark circles under his eyes were more prominent. Yoosung’s mind replayed how shadowed and half-lidded they’d looked before. Shit. Saeran was talking. Focus on that.

    “I just… kinda offered my input. Did some unscripted stuff that Mc incorporated.” he fiddled with his jacket tied around his hips and looked like he wanted to put it back on.

    “You guys should totally see him unscripted. He’s awesome.” Mc grinned, but faltered when Saeran cleared his throat uncomfortably. “But, uhh, not today!” she quickly added. “Songwriting day for the rest of today! V’s orders!”

    “Oh! Right! Jaehee, we should practice the duet, if you’ve got time.” Zen switched his attention to Jaehee, nodding to the door that Jumin had exited through.

    “Yeah. D’you think you could look over the lyrics me and Yoosung were working on yesterday too? You’re better than I am at piecing together syllables.”

    “Sure.” the two of them went ahead and exited the practice room. Saeyoung seemed to be shuffling his feet, hovering in the room and making up an excuse to stay.

    “I think I’m gonna just leave. Got a headache.” Saeran mumbled, finally giving in and putting his hoodie back on. He leveled a very direct glare at Saeyoung, then pushed the door back open.

    “Want me to come by later with dinner?” Mc offered, before he could leave earshot.

    “If you want.”

    “Ok!”

    Mouth and body ahead of his brain, Yoosung followed him out into the hallway enough to be heard.  “Bye Saeran! Feel better soon!” Saeran kind of grimaced, but it might have been a smile, then waved and left through the front door.

    God, what the hell was that? Yoosung’s brain must’ve been still muddled from before. He tried not to focus on why that was.

    He took a step towards the lounge, then remembered that Mc and Saeyoung had remained behind in the practice room. They still hadn’t walked past him. What were they hanging back for? Yoosung turned back to the door to find it’d been closed behind him.

    What were they up to? Yoosung’s suspicious nature took hold of him enough for him to listen through the wall to try and determine what they might have been doing. Something told him Jumin wouldn’t approve if something happened between the two of them.

    Talking. Sounded like they were just talking.

    “....ook I’d like to tell you, because I see that you really care for him, but this isn’t something for me to talk about. It’s his privacy, and I respect it, as should you.”

    “But he’s my brother and I haven’t heard from him for years, he hid from me and won’t let me try and explain myself and I don’t know what else to do. He won’t tell me about that-”

    “And he’s under no obligation to do so. It took me almost a year of knowing him before he opened up. I’m not about to break his trust for you. As big a fan as I am of you, I’m his friend first.”

    “I just want to make sure he’s ok! And that he doesn’t still hurt himself like that. After he shut V out I had nothing from him and it terrified me, and now that I know what he got up to I can’t just sit by!”

    “You’re just going to have to, Saeyoung. You need to understand that he’s a lot stronger than you give him credit for. Even if he looks worse for wear, it just means he’s fighting through it. I promise. You need to give him space. He’s back in your life, just be grateful for that for now. Take a step back. Let him come to you.”

    There was a long pause from the other side of the wall.

    “Ok. I get it. I’ll… do that. I just… I hate feeling like he’s miles away still, even if he’s right here, y’know?”

    “I haven’t experienced it personally but... yeah, I get what you’re saying.”

    “If you can, tell him that I’d like to talk. Actually talk with him. I really miss him. I wish he’d believe me.”

    “Sure.” There was a shuffling of fabric, a moment of silence, then the sound of footsteps for the door. Yoosung quickly darted into the bathroom since it was closer than the lounge to avoid being caught eavesdropping.

    Yoosung definitely felt guilty for listening on that particular conversation. Saeran and Saeyoung’s relationship was none of his business and now it felt like he had done something terribly wrong by knowing about it. He could claim all day that listening to them had come from a place of genuine intentions, but that didn’t make him feel any better at all.

    Saeran seemed like a person who greatly valued his privacy and avoided his brother at all costs. It kind of broke Yoosung’s heart to hear about how much that hurt Saeyoung.

    But, based on the way Mc talked about him, it felt like Saeran had a reason to avoid him. Yoosung was almost afraid of knowing what Saeyoung had done to deserve that.

    But-No! It wasn’t his business! He needed to put it out of his mind. The rest of the band wasn’t supposed to know and Yoosung shouldn’t know either. This wasn’t his business he shouldn’t be thinking about it or trying to piece together the bits of information he had or even still be hiding in this bathroom.

    Saeran would tell them if he wanted to, and wouldn’t if he didn’t.

    Making his way back to the lounge where everyone else was waiting, Yoosung distantly hoped Saeran could join them there at some point. He seemed so lonely outside of Mc.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do not repost art from this fic, reblog it from me at lordessdoodle.tumblr.com


	6. He's a twunk, the mix between a twink and a hunk. get it right.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and on we move, let's get some losers being oblivious and maybe a bit of the plot? idk man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait you guys, feedback on this fic kind of slowed to a dead stop and i lost interest because it felt like you all did. but i'm back on a kick now after finishing the actual game ^^

The intro to the video sped through, displaying the band title and the studio title before the music warbled out like a record, then blackening and revealing one Saeyoung Choi, camera held by what appeared to be a selfie stick, based on the angle.

    “Hey guys! Check out our new vlog intro! The full version will already be up! Hope you thought it was cool! I edited it together myself, also there might be a few easter eggs in the full version, if you’re interested in exploring it.” He winked at the camera, then began walking backwards down what looked like an apartment hallway.

    “Today’s subject of the video is to start a series of vlogs answering Agent707Stan808’s question of-” the screenshot of a tweet appeared at the bottom of the screen, “‘What do you guys do for fun or when you aren’t working on music or on tour?’ Well, my lovely, loyal and devoted fan, we all have our own hobbies that we partake in. I like to program computers and experiment with coding, Jaehee likes coffee, et-cetera.

    “In this video, since we’ve got the afternoon off, I figured I’d bring you guys along with me while I join Yoosung in his hobby,” he pushed a door open to reveal one Yoosung Kim, headphones on and face centimeters from a large monitor, game controller in his lap. “Gaming!”

    He had a decently impressive setup, with three monitors, a light up keyboard, and a large rolling chair, all of a matching green and black color scheme. It was made clear that he took pride in his gaming enough to color code things.  Saeyoung dropped into a whisper, upon realizing that Yoosung hadn’t noticed him enter, a large headset blocking out the sound.

    “He plays a lot of games, but his favorite is a hugely popular one, LOLOL. He’s been in the top players of his server for years now, I’m a top player too, when I play.” he winked at the camera.

    “Augh! Eat it, you camping bastard!” Yoosung unconsciously interrupted, eyes narrowing and scooting, if possible, closer to the screen.  “I’m all alone over here, anyone wanna fix that or do I have to carry this team on my own, like always?”

    Saeyoung snickered. “Apologies in advance if this ruins anybody’s pristine image of our boy.”

    Yoosung heaved a sigh, and pulled off his headphones, exiting the match. He watched the stats pile up before eyes flickering to the standing singer beside him, back to the screen, then back to Saeyoung and jumping violently in his chair. “Jesus, Saeyoung! I told you to stop sneaking into my house.” he held a hand over his chest, trying to calm himself.

    Saeyoung snickered again. “It’s not sneaking in when I have a key! Also, I’m here filming. Someone asked what we do in our spare time so I figured we could play and post that.”

    Yoosung’s demeanor quickly went from irritated to embarrassed. “Aahh! You’re filming?! How… long have you been filming?”

    “You’ll see when I post it!”

    “Ah- well! I wasn’t prepared to film a gaming video or something right now, but, uhh-”

    “Nonsense!” Saeyoung grabbed a footrest from the adjacent couch offscreen and sat down on it, still holding the camera. “Don’t worry about that yet, start by telling us about your game and how often you play.”

    “I don’t know why it’s necessary, but ok. I play in… most of my free time, I guess. I’ve been playing more these past few months. My usercode is SupermanYoosung, I made it years ago and grew attached, even if it is pretty lame. Also nobody who plays with me ever believes that I’m the real Yoosung Kim, so that’s always fun.”

    “They can’t fathom getting to meet a celebrity.”

    “Ha yeah, I’m serious, though. Some of my best guild members who I actually consider personal friends now, still think I’m just a dedicated fan.”

    “What fools.”

    “Yeah, I know. But now here is confirmation, if they ever see this, that I am the real Yoosung Kim, and if you’re in the Shooting Star server, message me! I’d love to play together with you!”  He pointed at the camera, smiling.

    “Soooo... for the sake of the video, shall we play?”

    “You have sprung this on me out of nowhere, I’m not sure it’s a great idea.”

    “None of that wimpy talk! Set us up for multiplayer! I know you’ve got a screen recorder here to hook that up to!”

    “That’s more for keeping a personal record...” Saeyoung was undeterred and continued to pull up a chair beside him.

    With a resigned sigh, Yoosung removed his headphones to retrieve a box-like device and a second controller. The box, he attached to the central computer, before pressing a few buttons. He passed the controller to Saeyoung and adjusted one of the monitors to face him.

    The video cut to show a split screen of the two monitors, the previous camera angle now just a thumbnail facecam in the corner.

    “Alright Saeyoung, you playing with or against me?” Yoosung asked, the first screen showing game controls while he prepared the match. Saeyoung smirked.

  
  
  
  


    Most everyone was awake bright and early the following day. Yoosung was one of the latest there, due to his accidental late-night gaming session with Saeyoung for the video. Apparently he’d posted it that morning. Yoosung couldn’t fathom how he’d managed to edit nearly four hours of game footage together and still be there before him, but decided not to question it.

    He’d received enough answers along the lines of ‘I’m a god’ in the past to just stop questioning him.

    Zen and Jumin were bickering in the corner of the lounge when Yoosung walked in. Something about Jumin tracking in cat hair and Zen being unable to sing properly because of it. He didn’t have it in him to pay attention to them today.

    Passing them, he made his way down the hall and into the practice room. Music was already playing over the speakers. Upon entering, however, it was just Saeyoung and Jaehee going over their latest step sequence. Mc and Saeran were absent.

    That was a shame. He wondered where they’d gone.

    “Hey guys, did I miss anything?”

    “Nope. Free day today!” Jaehee smiled. She looked uncharacteristically relaxed. Maybe it was the thought of getting a break for a change that cheered her up. She probably did more work for the band than most of them. At least she was happy now.

    “Free day? Thought Mc had more stuff to show us.” Yoosung raised an eyebrow.

    “She sent an email to everyone, didn’t you get it?”

    “Ah.” Right. Phone. Damn. Yoosung knew he’d forgotten something in his sleepy daze that morning. “No. I didn’t.”

    Jaehee rolled her eyes affectionately, “It’s ok. I have it here.” She tapped on her phone for a moment, then handed it to Yoosung.

 

    From: @MEdancerMC

    To: Multiple

    Hey guys! Saeran’s sick today, nothing serious, just a cold, but I’m gonna stay back and keep him company. I figured after a stressful week of preparation in anticipation for V, you guys could just take a free day off. Write songs or practice Saeran’s stunts (but please don’t hurt yourselves) and keep busy so Jumin doesn’t get annoyed. I’ll be there tomorrow. If you want to get a jumpstart on what I’ve got in mind for the next song’s step sequence, check out the link here: XXX. It’s a piece from camp that I’m taking inspiration from. You might even recognize a couple of people in the video . Anyway, practice hard. See you all tomorrow!

    -Mc

    --Ps: We should totally get a group chat or something.

 

    Yoosung handed Jaehee back her phone. “Thanks. Guess we’re on our own then.”

    “Yup. There’s a spare tablet in the lounge if you want to watch the video.” Jaehee directed, stretching her arms and pausing the music.

    “Man, I am notoriously good at multitasking, and yet I’m still tripped up over this step thing. And you’re supposed to do it while spinning your arms back.” Saeyoung growled. Diverting their attention to his struggle. “Cooperate, stupid feet.”

    Jaehee turned to him. “Mc walked me through this, you’re trying to land the second foot before jumping, which makes you go nowhere. While still on one foot, you jump then land with the second foot, then land the first.”

    Yoosung shrugged and headed back to the lounge. If Mc wasn’t there to teach them, he had very little interest in learning something.

    Zen was pouting when he walked back in, sprawled out on the larger couch and looking defiant. Jumin was just leaving, shuffling around Yoosung with papers in hand. Yoosung assumed their ‘argument’ went how it always did, with Zen having valid things to say and Jumin still getting the last word.

    He suspected Zen would bitch about it to him later so he grabbed the tablet Jaehee had mentioned and plopped down on the squishiest armchair, getting comfortable in case he had to sit through a rant.

    “You planning to practice any today?” He asked, finding the email with the link.

    “I hate being idle, but Jumin’s being an extra snob today so I just might not.” Zen replied, not opening his eyes.

    “You’ve already looked over the lyrics me and Jaehee had, right?”

    “Yeah. They were pretty great on their own; didn’t have much for me to do. Except we still need a slow piece, a desperate themed one, and another love song. As if we aren’t swamped for shit already.”

    “I’m sure we’ll get it all done. Recording isn’t for another week, right?”

    “Yes, but I’ve already done more than my part, as has Jaehee and you and Saeyoung. Jumin’s only done two for this set and I know he could churn out another love piece about his stupid furball if he wanted to, but he just assumes that we’re gonna do it ourselves and I just- Ugh!” Zen groaned and tugged on his hair.

    “I’m sure Jumin has his own things stressing him out, too.”

    “Quit being optimistic while I complain.”

    Yoosung rolled his eyes. “Fine, whatever. I’m watching the video Mc sent us, maybe you should too.”

    “She sent a video?”

    “Yeah, in her email.”

    “I just heard she wasn’t here today. Huh. I should check my phone more often. What’s the video of?” successfully distracted, Zen scooted up enough to lean over Yoosung’s shoulder while the link loaded.

    “It’s a routine from their camp, I think she want’s us to study it so she can use it for inspiration or something.”

    “Cool.”

    The youtube channel was that of the dance studio, not Mc or Saeran, and had a ten-second intro for their camp as well as the title of the selected song before the actual dance started.

    The dance was to a slow song in english. Yoosung could probably have guessed which of their demo pieces they’d shown her she was going to use for the routine.

    Once the title disappeared, a… very noticeably younger Mc and Saeran took center shot. Yoosung hadn’t been expecting that. Sure enough, the video was dated nearly two years ago.

    “Oh man, they’re fetuses!” Zen chuckled and Yoosung grinned. Saeran’s hair was nearly twice as long in the video, and dyed sky blue instead of white and pink. Cute. He was also considerably scrawnier, which said a lot considering how often Zen called him a chicken bone behind his back presently. Mc was mostly the same, though probably less muscled than she was now, also her hair was shoulder length and successfully tied back for a change as well.

    The dance in the video was nice, though definitely not something original by Mc. Her style of steps and fluidity of motions was still there. They’d likely been allowed some level of interpretation. It was also probably earlier on in their friendship/ dance partnership.

    Though they were well rehearsed, they weren’t quite as in synch as they’d been yesterday, occasionally glancing at each other to confirm motions and being maybe half a beat off sometimes. These were just nitpicks, however, and someone who didn’t actively practice dancing likely wouldn’t have noticed.

    At one point they sat down to roll over their shoulder and back to their feet, Saeran glanced over at Mc as if to confirm he was still on beat.

    The routine ended with Mc raising a knee for Saeran to take while she carefully leaned backwards until he caught her and spun with her body against his.

    “Huh. As tiny as he is, I’m kinda surprised he picked her up like that.” Zen voiced Yoosung’s thought. It finished with them lowering to the floor again and Mc leaning down to kiss Saeran’s forehead before beaming at the cheering crowd. Hmm.

    The clip ended before he could see how Saeran reacted to that.

    “Looks cute. I’m guessing she wants to get us used to more smooth motions and gestures. It was a pretty good idea to send us this while she’s gone.” Zen laid back against the armrest. Yoosung hummed an ambiguous amount of agreement before scrolling to some of the recommended videos without thinking.

    He was curious about what other routines they’d done that there were videos of.

    The next one was of a Beyonce song that had a much faster and more alluring tone. This one was definitely more recent than the others, though still posted to the studio’s chanel. They stepped and rolled their bodies in time to the lyrics, upbeat and bouncy. Yoosung would forever be impressed by how well Saeran could mimic feminine motions to keep in synch with Mc. His hair was purple in that video. It ended with Mc’s torso against his with one leg wrapped around his back. Hmm.

    It was… incredibly weird to see them be so… touchy-feely. Yoosung couldn’t put his finger on why. Maybe it was Saeran’s thorny personality or because of how often he avoided physical contact like the plague at any other time. Yeah that… that was it. Although he did seem a lot more patient with Mc than anybody else (obviously).

    Yoosung barely noticed when Jaehee shuffled back into the lounge, wiping her forehead on her sleeve.

    “Do you think Mc and Saeran like each other?”

    “Hm? They are friends, right?” Zen glanced back at him. Oh crap he hadn’t meant to ask that out loud. Behind, Jaehee had picked up the launchpad from their wall of instruments to poke at. Not all of them could play things, but that particular device came in handy when writing music.

    “Well yes, but I meant like… romantically.”

    “I dunno. Maybe.”

    Jaehee scoffed at them, pressing a chord absentmindedly. “I kinda doubt it.”

    “Really? Why’s that?” Yoosung glanced back down at the paused frame of the two, faces inches apart, both smiling tenderly. They looked pretty affectionate there. Yoosung couldn’t really remember seeing him smile in person, especially not like that.

    “Mc doesn’t seem like… his type.” Jaehee muttered cryptically, focusing intently on the buttons in her lap instead of them.

    What did that mean? Mc was really great. Yoosung met suspicious eyes with Zen before speaking up. “Please specify what you mean there so we don’t think you’re insulting anyone here.”

    Jaehee adjusted the settings on the launchpad, altering the notes beneath her fingers before looking back up at them again. “Not that it’s my place to assume or anything but… I get the feeling Saeran isn’t… particularly interested in women.” Oh. “Not that that means he’s interested in guys, he could be interested in nothing, but I’m getting everything but the straight vibe from him, y’know?” she went back to experimenting with chord combinations.

    “I get gay vibes, but what are straight vibes?” Zen was grinning, squinting at her.

    “I couldn’t explain it to you in a very clear way.”

    “What qualifies you to determine that though?”

    She leveled him with a cool stare. “Well, as a certified bisexual myself, I have more room to determine that sort of thing, just from experience.” she punctuated it with a note.

    Zen snorted. “What do you have to do to be a ‘Certified Bisexual’?”

    “Every year they line us all up and show us pictures of men and women to renew our certifications.” she deadpanned and Zen wheezed.

    “I thought it was like a country club, where you have like a subscription.” Yoosung added, grinning while Jaehee snickered behind her hand, forgetting her task of playing noises.

    Zen’s previous bad mood was long forgotten. “Like, every so often you go and train in a waterfall temple to still be attracted to all genders.”

    “HA!” they collectively lost their composure, cackling and laughing at the concepts they’d each presented.

    Moments like these were why Yoosung loved their band. When they just relaxed and joked around. Yeah they were busy and had work to be done, but they still took the time to laugh back and forth at eachother. Jaehee was such a good sport, too. He was distantly reminded of the first year of their band, when Rika had been with them, just after bringing them all together. They had been like a family.

    Yoosung’s laughter faded while he forced himself out of that. They were still a family, just now including Mc and Saeran and missing Rika. He tried to move past the first few days when he had desperately tried to see Rika in Mc. Time and a long argument with everyone else had shot down that concept quickly. It wasn’t fair to Mc or Rika’s memory.

    Yoosung was still mourning her, probably more than anyone else, and so far, they had been kind enough to give him space to do so. He still hadn’t moved past it, but he’d accepted it would take time. Mc wasn’t a bridge for that.

    He needed to tune back into the present. Zen had finally stopped laughing too.

    “Oh, man. Ok, but seriously, I am curious about what gives you those ‘not straight’ vibes.” he asked with finger quotes.

    Jaehee sighed, giving up. “Google ‘pastel emo twink’ and you’ll get what I mean. Also… Mc mentioned she got inspired by a drag queen for her dance yesterday. Maybe it was her going to a drag show, maybe she happened to accompany a friend to one, who knows. Besides, if they were a thing, I feel like they would’ve mentioned it by now. It’s not like either of them are public figures so it’s unlikely that they would have a reason to be secretive.” Jaehee held up her hands, shrugging.

    Zen paused. “...did you just call Saeran a twink?”

    “That is off topic.”

    Yoosung snorted and clicked on another video with the dance duo as the thumbnail. “You think Mc will try to get you two to do a partner routine at some point?” he asked, successfully shifting the topic of discussion.

    “I wouldn’t be opposed. But I doubt I’d be doing something like that.” Jaehee gestured to the video where Saeran had lifted Mc over his knees to roll her onto her feet. The recent videos (and even some of the older ones) featuring Mc and Saeran all had a few more thousand views than any of the others.

    Against every warning in his head, Yoosung scrolled to the comments of one.

    As expected, the first few top comments were either screaming about how hot Saeran was (though he was just called the ‘first dancer guy’ since none of them knew his name) or how much he looked like some anime character. Their band got comments like that pretty often too. After those were the people vigorously shipping Mc and Saeran.

    ‘They’re in so many videos together, they wouldn’t team up so much unless they were dating!’ ‘God their videos are my favorite! I hope they’re happy together!’ ‘Those two hotties that dance first are my otp’ ‘Just look at how they smile at each other and tell me they aren’t in love!’  ‘Who are the two in the beginning??? Are they married??? Can they marry me???’

    … Yoosung scrolled back up. He tried not to think about what Jaehee had said about Saeran.

    It really wasn’t his business to think about it anyway.

    He pulled up an empty word document without thinking, another dance video in the background. Maybe he could type out all his thoughts and turn them into a song to alleviate Zen’s stress about their next set. He was pretty good at doing that, turning jumbles of thoughts into convoluted song lyrics.

  
  
  


    “Saerannn! Move your skinny ass over!” Mc groaned, leaning heavily on Saeran’s shoulder in an attempt to get him to make room for her on the couch. “For someone so spidery, you sure know how to take up a lot of space!”

    “Go sit somewhere else.” he grumbled, pushing back against her, voice hoarse.

    “Noooo! I am your loving and caring nurse you must repay my kindness with a nice seat!”

    “All of the seats here are nice!” It was painfully true. Jaehee really hadn’t held back when finding their places to stay. Mc was a floor below him in a nearly identical apartment. Two bedrooms and two bathrooms with a fully furnished living room and kitchen. Ridiculously expensive furniture, television, and decorations on all walls made the place feel almost too nice to mess up. Almost.

    “The other chair is covered in crumbs.” Mc whined pathetically.

    “Your crumbs. Just brush them off.”

    “Or I could leave them for the maid and sit beside my best friend!”

    “I am diseased. If you sit too close you’ll catch it.” Saeran wrapped his bony shoulders tighter up in the fluffy (and also stupidly plush) comforter from the master bed.

    “You’re the worst!”

    “Any day.”

    With a resigned huff, Mc stomped over to the recliner and made a bitter point of brushing off the crumbs towards Saeran’s face. They didn’t quite reach him but the gesture still meant the same. She plopped down with a sigh.

    “Tired of hovering around my ungrateful ass?”

    “Honestly, I’m actually more glad to get a day off. My left ankle was sore after yesterday. I think that boot doesn’t fit me as well as it used to.” she emphasized it with a roll of her foot.

    “Mine were ok.”

    “We should do more original duo stuff. I feel like we haven’t done a solid partner routine in too long.” Mc flipped through the stack of menus on the coffee table.

    “I’m here if you ever need someone to warm up with or bounce ideas off of.” He ducked his head down so the blanket rose around his ears more, nearly disappearing in it aside from his face.

    “Yeah, but I mean like something from when we were camp bros.”

    “If you wanna choreograph something, I’m down to test it.”

    “Yeah, I know, but I’m also kinda too busy to do that now, y’know? It’s frustrating.”

    “Choreograph a partner thing for Zen and Jaehee’s duet and practice it with me.”

    “Hey there’s an idea. Except… I don’t want to put too much pressure on them. Our routines are a bit more advanced.”

    “Well then I got nothing.”

    Mc stretched out in the armchair like a cat. “Nonsense! You bring much creative insight to the table. Embrace your strengths, Saeran, and you embrace the truth!”

    “Thanks. I will probably not do that.” his eyelids felt heavy despite only being awake for a few hours. Mc had been there since before he woke up, prepared to drag him to the studio as per usual, but cancelled when seeing he was ill. It was touching. And unnecessary. Mc definitely had an ulterior motive for her visit. He’d been keeping himself awake out of anxiety waiting for her to reveal it.

    “Speaking of which…” And there it was. “have you been writing anything lately?” She asked nonchalantly, as though he hadn’t sensed the question coming hours ago.

    Saeran closed his eyes and tried to relax on his hard earned seat that was actually not as comfortable as his bed. “What if I have?”

    “Then you’re improving? You’re moving past the block! Saeran that’s so good, I’m proud of you!” he tried not to picture her smiling at him.

    “You don’t even know what I’ve written. It could be a suicide note.”

    “Don’t ruin the moment! I told you that activity would help get you in motion again!”

    “Just because I, a dysfunctional person, suddenly get more productive when structure and outside function is added to my day, doesn’t mean anything.”

    Mc was barely deterred. “Will you let me read any of it this time?”

    “No.” he hated when people read his music or poems. Made his skin crawl and all the flaws too spotlighted.

    But he did like it when Mc encouraged him.

    Music was one of Saeyoung’s things, Saeran finding he enjoyed making it was just another reason to hate him. Another thing he was better at. It had taken him a very, very long time to even finish a piece without destroying it. Mc had heard a grand total of two of Saeran’s original songs.

    A disappointed silence stretched between the two and he quickly caved.

    “But. If my throat clears up soon, I might let you hear something.”

    Mc gasped. “Yesss! I can’t wait! I’m gonna go make more tea just to speed things along!”

    Saeran relaxed against the armrest of the couch. It worked as a pretty good pillow. “Whatever.”

    “‘Whatever.’” Mc mimicked him. “You sound like an edgy teenager.”

    “Go make tea you thirsty fangirl.”

    She made a sound like she’d stuck her tongue out at him. Jerk.

    Saeran supposed this was as good a time as any to fall sick. He felt drained after showing off yesterday. He distantly missed the days when he didn’t feel so awkward around the groups at his camp. He’d only really opened up towards the final weeks of the summer. It was a shame he hadn’t kept in touch with many of them.

    He drifted off into a nap thinking about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first dance reference that mc sends in the email: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7v5s0wDbEik   
> secondary dance videos i was also referencing but not detailing:   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlB6gDWy16A  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc-3xq7Hcpw


	7. Tired Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jumin? you ok there buddy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was such a chore for me to get out. idk why. i just havent been feeling writing for awhile. maybe inspo will come back for the next chapter. i'm pretty excited for it. idk when it'll be here. maybe soon if i get some stuff written this weekend.

    “Jumin?” Jumin glanced up from the computer screen, startled by his visitor in the doorway before visibly relaxing again. He looked tired.

    “V! Hello, good to see you. When… when did you get back?” he rubbed his eyes, attempting to wake himself up a bit more with little efficiency. He normally would have stood up to greet his friend, but instead only sat back in his desk chair. He glanced at the clock, 2:58.

    “Just now. Figured I’d stop by the studio to pick up the report.” V stepped further into the office where his friend was hunched over a desk. “What are you doing here so late?”

    “Checking statistic notes sent by Father. He insisted they were urgent.”

    V stepped further into the room, enough to look at the many tabs opened, each likely a different graph or complicated equation. He had seen the reports before. “You should be resting.”

    “So should you. You’re probably tired after travelling.”

    “Time zone changes have me sleeping odd hours. I’m not tired.” V insisted. “But you are. What was so urgent that you needed to be present at the studio?”

    Jumin took a deep breath before nodding to the computer. “Father is… on edge about us.” He closed a tab to show a line graph of sorts beneath it.  “Apparently our popularity growth has slowed exponentially. He doesn’t like it.”

    V examined the image, humming. This happened almost every off season. “Just try telling him it will pick back up with the next album but these things don’t happen overnight. Whatever his threat is this time, I’m sure it’s as empty as the last ones.”

    “I’ve tried! He says if we can’t do something to boost our hype he’ll pull me out and remove the support. They’ll be left on their own. He makes it harder and harder to appease him every year and it’s… maddening.” Jumin pinched the bridge of his nose against an oncoming headache.

    V patted his shoulder. “You’re a grown adult. He cannot command you like a puppet and you should stop letting him think he can. And if it ultimately came to losing his support, do you really think another company wouldn’t be at the doors in an instant? I understand your concerns, but whatever your father does won’t be the end for the band, alright?”

    There was a lot pause, but he seemed to have said the right thing. Jumin sighed again and finally closed the opened documents. “You’re right. You’re always right. Thank you, V.” he stood up and collected his jacket from the hanger. “How long will you be in town?”

    “Ideally? The entire week. I think we’re ready to start some full recordings and perhaps contact the video crew.”

    “That’s good. Are we going to rely on the members for the videos or should we get creative input again?”

    “Let’s discuss it with the rest of RFA first. In the meantime, go home. I’ll meet you here tomorrow evening for more discussion. I’ve got a few calls to make tonight.”

    “Alright. Thank you again. Goodnight.” Jumin nodded once again before leaving, too tired to even realize he’d left the computer on.

 

    Mc shuffled the papers, waiting for the guys to arrive for the day’s practice. They weren’t always there at the same times. Actually, thinking back, she couldn’t recall anyone ever telling her they had a daily schedule of sorts, it was just an unspoken decision for them to be there by eleven at the latest so they could work on the routines.

    Granted, they still had deadlines, but it seemed like no amount of reprimanding the members was particularly effective at making them work faster. For the most part, they were left to their own devices.

    For the most part.

    V had been in and out of the studio three times since Mc had gotten there at eight that day.

    First he had made idle small talk, filling the awkward air with more awkward air. After five or so minutes of that he’d left again, realizing he was making her uncomfortable. The second time he stopped in he’d asked to see what choreography they were working on and suggested additional stunts. That had been weird.

    The third time he’d just passed the door, on the phone with someone in a European language Mc didn’t speak.

    She knew he’d gotten there the previous night but he seemed so tense, she doubted he’d slept any. She had a feeling he didn’t originally plan to return so soon.

    Jaehee got to the studio first after V, much to Mc’s delight, as displayed by her wide smile and perking up after pouring over notes.

    “Jaehee! Good morning! How did you sleep?”

    “As well as I could. I had some things to take care of until rather late.” Jaehee attempted a smile in return despite looking rather tired.  

    Mc decided to test a long overdue theory. It was about time she said something. “You ever get the feeling Jumin has you do all his errands for him?”

    She blinked, then smiled and waved her hand dismissively. “Oh I don’t mind. He’s the one who invited me to the band so I owe him a few favors here and there to keep it working. Everyone has to do their part, and mine just includes that!”

    “Oh.” Oh. Mc hadn’t thought of that. Still, feeling indebted wasn’t great either, and it still nagged at her. “Alright, that makes sense.” Wow. Chapters worth of suspicious commanding and ordering and suddenly all Mc had was this anticlimactic but perfectly valid excuse.

    Oh well. So much for that plot point.

    Though that didn’t quite explain why she avoided the guy as much as she tried to. Maybe she wouldn't let it go entirely, but stop thinking about it as much.

    “What about you? Did you sleep well?”

    “Yeah. My not-so-subtly implied day off yesterday did me good.”

    “How’s Saeran?”

    “He’s good! His fever went back down but he still sounds snuffly. No reason for me to hang around though. I’m not his mom, after all.”

    Jaehee nodded. “Fair enough. D’you think he’ll come by the studio today?”

    “Maybe, if he gets bored enough.” Mc shrugged. She wouldn’t ask it of him. She planned to be extra nice so he had no excuse for skipping out of showing her the song later. She couldn’t remember the last time he’d showed her one of them. Maybe she’d bring him some ice cream later, just to get on his extra good side.

    Jaehee smiled, taking off her glasses and setting them on the floor beside her shoes. “I hope he does. It’s nice having him around. He’s funny.”

    Mc blinked, startled out of her scheming. “… Can I record you saying that?”

    “What?”

    “What you just said, about liking his company?”

    Jaehee giggled, “Sure. If you want. Will it make him feel better or something?”

    “Probably not, but it’s proof he’s deluded when he avoids you guys, which means I’m right once again.” Mc muttered. Jaehee snorted and laughed harder. She had a cute laugh, Mc thought She kind of curled her shoulders and covered her mouth. Mc wanted to make her laugh more.

    Blushing, she turned away and fiddled with the speaker system to busy herself.

    “Anyway… how have the rehearsals with Zen been going?”

    “Pretty good. The song sounds great but he spent a long time complaining about Jumin again.”

    “Those two need to just lay ‘em out on the table and measure ‘em already.” Mc deadpanned. There was a beat where Jaehee processed what she’d said, then snorted into her hand again.

    “Nah, this happens every album.  Things will settle down between the two once it’s all finished. Then Zen can get back at Jumin during the tour.”

    “Oh?” Mc raised an eyebrow.

    “Jumin basically puppeteers our butts during tours to get us to the different locations and such." Jaehee explained. "Zen makes it his personal mission to be the biggest hindrance of that but in ways that only Jumin can be mad about. Hanging back to sign free autographs, taking pictures with fans on the street. Anything that makes him look good but throws Jumin’s schedules in the trash.”

    “Sounds fun.”

    “Well it’s fun to watch.” Jaehee shrugged. “If you take amusement from conflict, that is. Anyway, what’s on the agenda today?”

    “Well I sent you guys a video of a routine, and today I’m following up with some fast ballet lessons. A crash course of sorts. I’m sure you’ve had to learn some of it before, but most of you seem to specialize in modern and hip hop. Not that that’s bad, but when you really look at it, all dance styles come from ballet. Learning the basics, even if it’s only a little bit of the basics, is still helpful.

    “Your movements will be more fluid, controlled, smooth, and coordinated by the end of this week. I hope.” Mc smirked.

    “Oh! That’s something I can do!” Jaehee perked up.

    “You’ve done ballet before?”

    “As a kid. I remember most of the forms. It’s how I warm up, usually.”

    Mc’s eyes glinted, before she quickly pressed play on a song (some piano cover of a videogame song set in major key to sound classical) and bowed to Jaehee, extending a hand. “In that case, may I have this dance, my lady. To assess your knowledge, of course.”

    Jaehee giggled and accepted the hand. “It would be my honor!”

     

....

     

    “ARGHHHH!” the crumpled paper bounced off the opposite wall and rolled to a stop just at Zen’s feet. He raised an amused eyebrow.

    “Trouble?” he asked, picking it up and unfolding the blank page.

    Yoosung bitterly chewed his headphone chord. He hadn’t actually written anything on the paper, but it felt cathartic to crumple it up and throw it across the room. He needed a cliché way to vent his frustration.

    “It’s wrong. The song won’t sound right in my head, but I’m too far in to just give it up!” he clawed at his hair, looking slightly deranged but still kind of funny.

    “I’ve been there. Though I gotta ask, why’d you call me up instead of Saeyoung or Jaehee. They’re both equally good writers, and probably more familiar with what you wrote.” At nearly ten in the morning, they really didn’t have much time before Mc came looking for them with a big stick. “And why couldn’t this wait until we got to the studio today?”

    Yoosung faltered, then glanced away. Was he blushing? It looked like he was blushing. Zen squinted and almost laughed, but he had a feeling that wouldn’t help the situation.

    “Er… why don’t I just take a look at it, then?” he suggested.

    Yoosung still didn’t make eye contact while he handed Zen the tablet, who quickly scanned the contents of the document.

    Hmm...

    Zen glanced at him from over the screen, eyebrows raised. Yoosung had folded his arms and hidden his face entirely.

    “Yoosung… Is this a… love song?” he watched his ears turn red from beneath his hair. Zen bit his lip against a growing smile. Of all of them, Yoosung had never attempted a love song for the group to perform. He’d always insisted he was just better at other topics, or the world had too many love songs already, or that Zen and Jumin could write better ones.

    “Just. Help.” Yoosung muttered from the fabric of his shirt.

    “Little Yoosung, our very own little love song virgin, finally wrote-“

    “Shut UP! Are you gonna help or not?!” Zen chuckled. Yoosung looked ready to dig his own grave for embarrassment. How could he _not_ laugh? “Stop laughing!” he didn’t.

    “Alright alright, I’ll help.” He managed to contain himself to just a large grin for the time being. “Just remember this milestone will not go ignored. By neither me nor the others.” Zen sat down beside the still blushing Yoosung before scrolling up to the top of the song.

    “I don’t know what’s wrong with it. You guys make it look easy.”

    “Yes well, we’ve written them before.”

    “Don’t start that again.”

    “I wasn’t going to.” Zen connected the keyboard for easier typing. “I feel like you’re trying too hard to think of it like a _love_ song and forgetting that it’s still just a song. You’ve got a shape for it, so it’s awkward at best. As far as the love aspect goes… the lyrics aren’t that bad, they’re vague, yes, but vagueness sells. That’s usually Jumin’s fatal flaw, he tries so hard to practically say he’s writing about his cat. Saeyoung gets a free pass because women tend to be mistaken for cars in songs already.” Yoosung snorted. Musical inspiration came from some pretty creative places.

    “I think your biggest issue is the tone, hardly relevant to the subject. It shifts back and forth really badly. It’s almost like you’re trying to write two different songs about the same thing. It starts off disappointed and somber, then there’s this awkward transition and suddenly it’s upbeat and happy. That doesn’t work. I recommend taking out the transition entirely, and just letting the music build. A surprise shift isn’t bad for this kind of song, make the tone shift feel intentional. Try changing the lyrics of the chorus to pick up right from where the verse left off, but with a different level of enthusiasm.”

    Zen took out two lines and typed another two backing off the previous verse, repeating some of the first few lines. “There, see? Suddenly it flows way more naturally by just skipping the transition.”

    “It cuts off entirely, then it’s just picked back up? It was that easy?!” Yoosung stared in disbelief at the tablet.

    “Sometimes when I’m stumped, I’ll read the entire song out loud to the mirror and wait for my gorgeous reflection to point out the obvious. You just needed a gorgeous reflection.”

    Yoosung blinked. “Ok you lost me. Fix the rest of the song so I can show it to Jumin when we get to the studio.”

    Zen shrugged and went through the second verse, essentially repeating the little patch from before. The bridge was omitted entirely and just replaced with a warpey chorus, then the build with less music. Zen set the tablet back on the table with a flourish.

    “Tah dah! Your first cheesy love pop song! How d’you feel, Yoosung?”

    “It’s cheesy?”

    “Yes but all love songs are.”

    “Will Jumin accept it?” Yoosung chewed his headphone chord again.

    “It’s better than any of the awkward sexual shit he writes about his cat.”

    “That doesn’t answer my question.”

    “We need one more love song, now he’s got one more love song. I think it doubles as the desperate one too, if you wanna try it.”

    Yoosung took a breath, staring at the document for another few seconds, then finally saved it and closed the tablet. “Ok. Let’s get to the studio so we aren’t too far on his bad side when I show him.”

    Zen hopped up from the couch and stretched. “I’m proud of you, Yoosung. How would you like to celebrate your popping of the love song cherry?”

    “Oh my god. Do _not_ phrase it like that ever again.” Zen chuckled again.

 

     ....

     

    The tune ended with a flourish and Jaehee straightened her body, toe outstretched. Her body was a mirror of Mc’s, who quickly dropped her hand and clapped happily.

    “Jaehee that was lovely!” Mc smiled wide.

    Jaehee’s chest warmed. “You think so?”

    “Definitely.” Mc’s smile softened. “You always look lovely.”

    Oh! Jaehee didn’t hold back the giggle that escaped. Seems she’d been laughing a lot today, Mc sure was funny. “You’re too sweet to me, Mc. All the online fans fawn over you, y’know.” Mc really was just so nice. She really didn’t deserve a friend like that.

    “Only because I’m a new thing for them to talk about. People love new things. They’ll forget about me.” She waved a hand dismissively.

    “Don’t argue with me over who’s better or I swear I’ll-“

    “G’moooooorning ladies! I am here. You may now enjoy the day.” Saeyoung marched through the door, arms wide and dramatic.

    Zen and Yoosung shuffled in on Saeyoung’s heels. Zen looked oddly smug (or at least smugger than usual) while Yoosung seemed to be avoiding everyone’s eyes. It might have intrigued Jaehee, had she not seen this combination before.

    “Hi guys. You’re all here later than usual.” Mc waved them in.

    “Slept in.” Saeyoung shrugged.

    “Me and Yoosung met up earlier to work on a song of his. Is Jumin here? Yoosung would like to show him.” Zen beamed obliviously while Yoosung levelled him with a murderous glare.

    “It’s not that urgent.” Yoosung managed through clenched teeth.

    “V’s been around all day, but I haven’t seen Jumin yet.” Mc shrugged.

    “It can wait.” He repeated. 

    “Has Jumin been here at all?” Saeyoung raised an eyebrow at the practice bars that had been set up in the center of the room.  

    “I don’t think so. If he was here to work, you’d think he would be talking with V.” Mc said.

    “True.”

    “Either way, he had better get his happy hips here soon. I’m starting on our ballet crash course and he can’t afford to miss it if he wants to keep up with you guys.”

    Zen clapped his hands eagerly, forgetting to bug Yoosung for a moment. “Ballet, excellent. Something to compliment my beauty!”

    “Don’t get ahead of yourself there, Eros. I’m not going easy on you guys. I’m basically going to rewrite a lot of your knowledge of dancing for the sake of my end goal. If you don’t hate me by tomorrow, I’m not doing my job right. But I can’t start my job at all without Jumin.”

    “I can go find him for you.” Jaehee quickly offered.

    Mc hummed. “No I need you to help me teach these guys the starting forms. Zen why don’t you give him a call or something?”

    “Of course you pick me.” Zen’s face dropped.

    “Your voice will bug him the most. Go!” Mc nudged his shoulder towards the door. She  _was_ technically right about that. He shuffled out with a shrug but not before bumping Yoosung’s arm just to watch him flinch. Jaehee sometimes wondered if that was a boy thing or a friends thing.

     

    Outside, Zen nearly fell over colliding with Jumin himself.

    “Oh! There you are I was just going to look for-are you ok?” Zen grabbed his shoulders to balance the both of them. Jumin looked awful. By his standards at least. Jumin was the definition of poised and clean cut, but today he looked exhausted. It was clear he’d made an attempt to hide it, though, with his usual clothes and perhaps some makeup underneath his eyes. Zen could see right through him.

    “I’m fine. I didn’t intend to be late today. Have I missed anything?” Jumin shuffled around him and made for the practice room.  

    “No, we were just about to start.” Zen raised an eyebrow. “You sure you’re ok?” He himself wasn’t much one to care about the trust fund kid, but the band did need him in it to function at full capacity.

    “I was just up rather late last night. It’s nothing.” He insisted.

    Zen paused, unconvinced. He wasn't exactly worried about him, but anybody would be unnerved by his current state, Zen figured. “You want like, an energy drink or something? I know Saeyoung carries a few on hand all the time. Between the two of us, I’m pretty sure he never actually sleeps at all. Nobody that energetic is actually running on a night’s sleep. He’s all caffine.”

    That managed a smile out of Jumin. “Well, it’s not impossible. I’ll see about getting a coffee in a moment, but thank you.”

    Zen shrugged and followed him back to the practice room. He kind of liked this new, tired Jumin. It was way easier to be nice to him when he looked so pathetic.

    Zen sneezed and rubbed his eye. Aw fuck. He’d gotten cat hair on his hand when he’d caught Jumin. Nevermind. Screw that guy.

     

     ...

     

    Saeran was excruciatingly, mind-numbingly bored.

    Not the good kind of mind-numb, though.

    He wouldn’t have minded doing nothing but lying in bed were he having a numb day. One of those depression days that he got every few weeks where he just can’t be bothered to do anything. That would be fine. Relaxing, even.

    But he wanted to do something. He’d gotten too used to doing stuff every day no matter how much he wanted to. Now he was practically tearing the wallpaper off with boredom.

    He’d already gotten up and made a mess of breakfast that would later piss off the maid. He’d already confirmed that watching television just annoyed him with boredom more. He’d already looked over his song and decided that his voice was still too rough to show it.

    He might’ve put on music to dance if he wasn’t still so tired from being sick.

    Stupid useless meat sack. He really hated being sick. Didn’t much matter, Saeran had such a shitty immune system. His bony frame was not entirely genetics.

    He spied his keyboard in the far corner. He hadn’t really practiced in a while. Really, learning had just been another way to kill boredom when Mc was busy teaching children. He’d almost forgotten Mc had packed it for him. Or unpacked it, for that matter.

    Saeran shrugged and pushed himself out of bed to turn it on. The keys were weighted and the sound was loud enough to make it almost feel like a real piano. He flicked it to the electric setting anyway.

    He racked his mind for the tune to his song from before. He chose a minor chord and experimented with quick note combinations. It was harsh and tense. Fitting for the lyrics. Also fitting for Saeran.

    He hit record on a whim and did it again, then muffled the music entirely, imagining the lyrics connecting. Then brought the tune back. Added a beat. Brought it to a gradual volume increase, then faded out entirely.

    Neat. Now his song had some actual music to go with it. Mc would like that, right?

    Correction, Mc would appreciate the extra effort. He could sing a nursery rhyme and she’d like it. The added music would be nice. It’d make Saeran a bit prouder of his completed piece.

    When he looked up at the digital clock again nearly two hours had passed. Oh. Huh. Nice. That would make it about lunch time. He sat back on the chair.

    He didn’t really _feel_ like eating but Mc would want him to. Though, Saeran didn’t exactly have a lot of food in his place, which meant he’d have to leave for lunch. Ugh. He hated going out alone. Screw it. He didn’t want to eat anyway.

    He was growing bored again already. He didn’t feel like finding a tune for another song. Boring.

    Dammit.

    Saeran groaned and stood up again, grabbing his warmest hoodie and, as an afterthought, one of the soft blankets from his bed.

     

     

    V answered his phone after four rings, busy typing an email to their agent about location definites and possibilities. “Hello? You’ve reached Kim Jihyun.”

    “V, this is Chairman Han speaking.”

    V sat up in surprise. Don’t get alarmed. Don’t worry. Everything’s fine. “Mister Chairman, sir, how may I help you?”

    “Why has Jumin not been answering my calls. I’ve contacted him several times these past few hours. You’re there at the studio right now, yes?”

    “Jumin has been at choreography practice with the rest of the members since this morning, sir. If he’s not answering it’s because he is preparing for their next video.” V explained. “I can tell him to call you back when he’s finished today if you’d like.” he tapped his pen on the desk, nervous.

    “Don’t bother. When do you think they’ll finish up? I can call him then.” The chairman didn’t sound happy about being told the truth.

    “Perhaps this evening?”

    “Alright. Thank you, V.” the line went dead before V could say goodbye.

    That was… not great. V quickly concluded his email and logged off to check the second account. Sure enough, four emails from the chairman and his secretary had accumulated. He deleted them.

    Jumin had enough on his plate to deal with that as well. Besides, the chairman would probably send more soon anyway. Too many would just make Jumin panic again.

    V stood back up and stretched. He and the band needed to get brainstorming.

     

    Pizza was, perhaps, not their most sophisticated option for lunch, but it was quick and readily available to the eight hungry people in the studio.

    Not that Saeyoung disliked pizza; he had a pretty big fondness for unhealthy and junk foods. It was kind of in his nature to have the lowest standards and level of functionality.

    He took note of how Saeran preferred cheese over anything else with toppings. Saeran had shown up just before they decided upon ordering it, much to Mc and Saeyoung’s (though he hid his) delight.

    V, too, had turned up to eat with them, which was nice. A good change to have them all there together.

    Yoosung was chattering with Jaehee, apparently forgetting what had him so tense this morning, stuffing his face with a breadstick in between words.

    When Jumin first got there he’d looked like a walking wealthy corpse. With a few coffees he’d since perked up to bring up the lunch conversation, which happened to be future videos.

    “We have a few suggestions set aside but ideally, we should come up with the themes and imagery ourselves.”

    “How’s about me being a Greek god. Perhaps a musem tour turned into a great battle for the fair maiden’s hand.” Zen suggested, gesturing to Mc to complete his fantasy. She responded by wiping his greasy fingers off with a napkin.

    “You’ve already been a Spartan gladiator before. It would feel too similar.” Jumin shook his head.

    “Jumin!” Saeyoung quickly swallowed his half-chewed bite. “I want to be a spy. Tell the film team to make me a secret agent, a la James Bond but less white and misogynist. It’s a dream of mine. Make it happen.”

    V hummed and nodded. “We haven’t done a defined story for a video in a while. Could make it pretty action packed if we wanted, maybe hire some stunt doubles for a fight sequence.”

    “Yesss! Fight sequences are the best!”  

    “Oh cool! We’re bringing back the five heroes trope.” Jaehee smiled. “Can I be the lancer this time? I’m tired of being the heart of the team.”

    “Oh! Yeah and I can be the leader this time!” Zen grinned, using Mc’s napkin on his face as well.

    “Hey, it was my idea for us to be spies.” Saeyoung glared. Rude of them to just take his idea and make it all about them.  

    “Yeah but you’re the tech expert. Everybody knows the tech expert isn’t the leader of the team.”

    “Nothing has been decided upon, and nobody viewing the videos will make the connections to all these character archetypes you seem to assign.” Jumin deadpanned.

    “It helps us envision a better story, Jumin! It’s to assist with getting in character. Maybe you should try it.” Zen rolled his eyes at him.

    Jumin ignored him and took another slice of pizza onto his plate.

    “You must be pretty hungry, Jumin. Thought you didn’t like unhealthy common food.” Saeyoung commented.

    “For the sake of convenience, I can’t always uphold that diet.” Jumin replied, taking a bite of his food and letting the insult fly over his head.

    “You sure our greasy peasant food won’t make you sick?” Zen jabbed.

    “Your sardonic comment is noted and ignored.”

    “Oh!” he bounced, suddenly forgetting their topic. “Speaking of notes! Yoosung! Didn’t you write something you wanted to offer to Jumin and V?” Zen grinned, and Yoosung choked on his bite. If looks could kill, then Yoosung would definitely have been making quite the murder attempt despite his eyes watering from his sudden coughing fit.

    “You have something for the album?”

    Yoosung cleared his throat for a second longer, probably drawing it out, before standing up and pulling a printed sheet of paper out of his pocket. He handed it to Jumin without comment. Jumin scanned the page and nodded.

    “This will work well. V will you check off the love song and send this to Van-“

    “It’s a love song?” Saeyoung sat up. He met Zen’s eyes. So _that_ was why he’d been so annoyingly happy today. Jerk was sitting on that information all day without telling him?! How dare.

    Yoosung folded his arms defensively. “Yeah?”

    Saeyoung’s grin widened. “Ohohoho?”

    “I was surprised too, though no less proud.” Zen beamed.

    “You quiet, you kept this a secret from me and I’m offended.”

    “That’s fair.”

    “Yoosung, why did you only tell that creep about your metaphorical punching of the love song v-card?” Saeyoung demanded.

    “Why does everyone keep phrasing it like that?! Jesus, all I did was right a song!”

    “We must celebrate!” Saeyoung jumped to his feet.

    “No!”

    “Just what I suggested! Perhaps a party or we could all go out for dinner?” Zen leaned forward eagerly.

    “Nooooooo!”

    Behind them, Saeran leaned over and whispered something to Mc, who giggled. Saeyoung wanted to ask what he’d said, but kept quiet.

    “Please can we change the subject?” Yoosung begged, face covered.

    “Of course, since you asked so nicely.” Jaehee met Zen’s eye with a devious glint, she had been suspiciously quiet whilst they mocked him. “Why don’t you tell us what inspired your song?” Yoosung’s sigh of relief was cut short.

    “Yeah, Yoosung!” Saeyoung perked back up. “Every love song comes from somewhere!”

    “It- there wasn’t-“ he spluttered, turning red again.

    “Oh, come now, Yoosung. One doesn’t just wake up one day with the urge to write a love song, especially not you. We all know I write about romance tropes in Broadway plays, and Jaehee writes about coffee, so what did you write about?” Zen insisted. Yoosung’s eyes darted around the room, looking for a way out of this conversation. Saeyoung grinned, they had him cornered.

    Yoosung made brief, panicked eye contact with Saeyoung. Hm?

    “Lolol!” He finally choked out. “I wrote it about my videogame. Thought I liked it enough. Will you get off my ass already?”

    He was lying. Saeyoung could see right through him. Zen and Jaehee didn’t seem to believe him either, meeting eyes and smirking. Nobody challenged him, though.

    Jumin had been watching this all with a bored expression. He waited an appropriate few seconds to make sure nobody else tried to speak before asking. “Are you all done? We will have to record this soon, perhaps next week.”

    “Yeah we’re done. Still gonna go for dinner, though.” Zen said despite Yoosung’s growl. “Saeran, Mc, you two game?”

    Saeyoung was happy to hear Zen include them.

    “I’m down!” Mc grinned and Saeran shrugged. He shrugged a lot. Saeran wasn’t super huge on talking when there was a group of people listening to him.

    Saeyoung was even sometimes surprised by how his voice sounded. Had it ever once bene predisposed to sound like his twin’s, whatever he’d been doing for the past few years had overthrown it. Saeran’s voice was slightly higher than Saeyoung’s and seemed to carry a slight hoarseness to it at all times. He suspected it was from underuse.

    “In the meantime, Mc, how much longer will choreography practice last today?” Jumin pulled Saeyoung out of his thought processes.

    “Probably another two hours or so. Then you guys can do your voicey things.” She waved a hand at him. 

    “When you’re finished, Jumin, there’s some paperwork that I’d like your assistance with.” V said. Saeyoung noticed belatedly that this was the first time he’d actually said something since they started eating.

    Jumin met his eyes for a very long and very meaningful moment. “Perhaps I should attend to it now-“

    “No, it can wait.” V cut him off.

     

     

    “Are you sure?”

    “Yes, the other members are already being gathered and we can’t wait any longer.” Rika folded her hands, frowning. The boy looked distraught, unfitting for his face, which typically housed such goofy and happy expressions.

    “What about him, though? I don’t want to just… leave him behind. Even if he’s not a member, can’t he come with me?” he begged. Of course, he’d try to bring his brother. Rika fought the urge to roll her eyes. Beside her, V looked uncomfortable. He’d been told to keep quiet, though, and was obeying that.

    “We’ve only gained clearance to take you away under the pretense of a scholarship to a musical tutoring group. We can’t do the same for him. I’m sorry.” She was lying, but if the two of them left the house it would prompt some curiosity and they didn’t want to bother with that. The less teenagers they had to deal with, the better.

    “Oh…” His face fell. Poor kid.

    “We don’t have a lot of time. Our flight leaves at two.” V spoke up from beside her.

    “W-What?! But I need to pack- and my brother just left for school! I- I haven’t even told him about this yet! You’ve gotta let me say goodbye.”

    “What? Saeyoung, why haven’t you told him already? We’ve been discussing this for weeks!” V stepped around her this time and she felt a twinge of irritation at him going against her orders. His emotions about the boy would only make this harder for everyone.

    “I-I didn’t know how… I didn’t want to make him sad because I was going without him…” The boy tugged on his jacket strings. Rika put a hand on V’s shoulder, silently telling him to let her do this. V’s interruption could very well make him stay.

    She paused, then leaned down to the boy’s height (only barely shorter than her).  “Perhaps… this is for the best. Maybe it’d be easier if you didn’t say goodbye.” She touched his arm gently, making future note of how he flinched at the contact.

    “How would that be easier?”

    “If he were to ask it of you, would you stay instead?” She kept eye contact, something she was very good at. “Would you give up on your dreams for his sake?

    He wasn’t sure. His conflicting thoughts were written clear as day on his face. Would he? Rika doesn’t want to risk sticking around long enough to find out.

    “Why don’t you go ahead and pack your things. Maybe Saeran will come home for lunch and maybe you can say goodbye then.” V suggested. She had to hand it to him, he sounded genuine, as if that would be an option. Rika knew it wouldn’t, if they saw the carpool that took him to school they would leave immediately.

    They couldn’t afford him changing his mind. Saeyoung had such a beautiful voice. His youth, too, would fit perfectly in the rest of the members they had already gathered. They needed to go soon.

    “Yeah… ok.” Saeyoung nodded sadly and turned to dash back into the house. His mother smiled as he passed her. The bitch. Rika knew full well how poorly she treated her children. They’d only convinced her to let Saeyoung leave under the pretense that she would get a portion of his earnings.

    A very small portion. Rika would not risk her getting drunker than she already did.

   It was the least she could do for Saeran, after all. Perhaps in a month or two she’d go check on him, just to ensure he would get on fine without his brother. The two were far too attached. Their separation would teach them independence. A lesson that everyone would have to learn some day.

 


	8. the one i've been eager to write since i fuckin started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit dude some fuckin shit goes down i aint gonna lie this is like. The big chapter just read the title man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm blocking anyone who comments anything about the wait time ive been dead inside and havent felt the writing spirit but it's comin back babey its comin back

    “But it’s not fair! Why couldn’t he come! He’s my twin he can probably sing too!”

    “For the last time, his voice isn’t like yours. Yours is already deeper and we can’t wait for him.” Rika set her fork down, finally done trying to eat her meal in between arguing with Saeyoung. She should have known taking him to lunch would backfire.

    “His will get deeper too! He’s just a little weaker than me so he-“

    “Saeyoung, we can’t keep having this argument. It’s been weeks now, I have checked up on him myself and he’s fine. He doesn’t even want to be in the band.” One truth and one lie. She had gone and visited him, letting him know his brother was happy in the city but had made no such offer to invite him.

    “I just… I miss him.” Saeyoung’s lip trembled and Rika sincerely hoped he didn’t start crying. She was terrible with crying people.

    “And I’m sure he misses you too, but this is for the best. He’s going to find his own path like you found yours, and because of yours, you’ll be able to support it financially, something you couldn’t have done in the past. I promise you he will be alright.”

    That seemed like the right enough thing to say since he nodded went back to poking at his sandwich. “I wish I could contact him.”

    “I know.”

    “If… hypothetically, if he could sing like me could he be in the band too? V said he could but… I figured I’d ask you too.” Oh had V said that? Hm. She would have to have another talk with him about things he’s said.

    “Yes, I suppose he could. But he can’t. Finish your lunch we need to get back to choreography practice soon.” No sense in crushing his hopes, even if they were unfounded.

    “Ok…”

     

    ~~~~  

     

    The first notes rang in, and Saeran slipped seamlessly into his starting position. Mc mirrored him a beat later. They rolled and twisted their torsos in time to the opening notes, then with the beat, bent their arms as though the clanking beat of the song were being generated by their limbs. The lyrics started up and they joined hands, rolling to their knees in time. Mc laid back for Saeran to spin her on the ground enough to stand back up with the momentum.

    Saeran pushed himself onto his palms, twisted his legs in the air, then landed again. They rolled again and Mc’s body was draped against his. He pulled her arms above her head and they spun, Saeran facing the mirror now, back to Mc. At the lyrics, he grabbed her waist and lifted her over him, letting her land and lead them both into more twisting hip motions. It was almost less choreography and more acrobatics.

    They rolled their bodies, back and forth, mirroring each other. With each snap of the beat, they locked their legs and arms.

    The choreography ran out, but the pair didn’t stop, now improvising. Mc smirked to herself, picking up on the gestures that Saeran was using and complimenting it by rolling her shoulders. They looked like puppets pulling each other’s strings.

    It was mesmerizing.

    Yoosung had forgotten that he was spying about a verse ago, too enraptured by the duo.

    He’d been the first there that morning, having gotten up early on accident (read: not ever been asleep and just gotten bored of playing games after about seven hours) and headed to the studio out of boredom around eight o’clock. He had no idea how long Mc and Saeran had been there, but had stumbled in on some kind of rehearsal or warm up.

    Either way, he was transfixed.

    As perfectly as they gelled together, they both clearly had differing styles of dancing. Mc was smoother and more practiced, while Saeran was more dynamic and sharp. Yoosung wanted to see what they did solo (read: what Saeran did solo, as Yoosung had already seen Mc improvise on her own while watching her choreograph).

    Yoosung backed away and let the door close without clicking shut when someone poked his shoulder. He nearly flung the door back open he jumped so hard, even smacking his assailant in his startled flailing.

    “Jesus, Saeyoung! Don’t sneak up on me like that!” Yoosung took a breath to try and calm himself, body still reacting to the scare.

    “Don’t be so busy peeping on other people that I can sneak up on you!” Saeyoung pushed his glasses back up his nose from where they’d been smacked, acting nonchalant but sounding smug.

    “I wasn’t peeping! They looked like they were doing one of their older choreographies and I just looked in to see.” Yoosung folded his arms.

    “So you were spying then.”

    “Why are you here so early anyway?” He ignored the pester.

    “I happen to be responsible sometimes too, you know.” Saeyoung said with mock offense to his tone.

    Yoosung snorted. “Uh huh.” He was already unconsciously following him down the hall towards the lounge. “Is anyone else here yet?”

    “Jumin, I think. Though I kind of doubt he ever left last night.”

    Yoosung thought back to the day before. “He’s been looking kinda stressed or overworked lately, right? I’m not misreading this?”

    “You aren’t. I have a few theories.”

    “Oh god.”

    “The first is that Ellie is sick. However, he would be spending more time at home instead of here were that the case. The second is there are rumors spreading online that could lead to a tabloid scandal. Unlikely that he would stress so much about it, but not impossible.”

    “Uh huh.” Yoosung was only half paying attention by then.

    “The third is he’s being stalked by a rival musician and he’s grown paranoid about losing our ratings to them.”

    “Right.”

    “The last theory is his father is attempting to force him into a marriage with a woman of his own fiancée’s choosing, unaware that the young lady she’s chosen is secretly her sister and the two are plotting to steal the family fortune from beneath their noses after the crash of their own dream company failed and they were left penniless but still beautiful enough to charm a corporate heir.”

    Yoosung stopped walking and slowly turned to stare at him. “… Saeyoung what the hell?”

    Saeyoung beamed. “They’re just theories, though!”

    “You’re insane.”

    Turning into the lounge room, the two were greeted with a slightly messy V, pacing back and forth across the back wall, on the phone.

    “Just…. Yes that’s-… right…. right… If you could just contact them again and set final confirmations for the dates, and ensure that they won’t be swayed… yeah… I was going to do it myself but I’m currently needed here and… yes… yes fine, do whatever you need. I really owe you one… yeah. Yeah, I can do that. You’re a lifesaver, Vanderwood. Remind me to buy you dinner or something when you get in… Yup. Alright… bye.”

    He hung up and breathed a sigh of apparent relief. After typing for a moment more at the keys, V finally looked up and noticed his audience.

    Yoosung glanced back towards the hallway, tempted to leave again. Luckily, Saeyoung wasn’t one to notice or pay attention to awkward silences.

    “Fun phone convo?”

    “Ah. Well, I seem to have gotten behind with securing a few locations for your tour. I hate to ask this of your agent but-“

    “Psssht, Vanderwood will survive. Not like they do much outside of tours and shit anyway.” Saeyoung waved a hand.

    “Yes, but that is not exactly in their usual job description. I might consider adding it to their contract at this point, though, and I’m sure they would appreciate a raise…” V tapped his chin, considering.

    Yoosung shrugged and went to lay down on the closest couch, his previous sleepless night starting to make itself known.

    “You shouldn’t get too comfortable, we’re recording today.” Their manager mumbled from behind his phone, having barely paid attention to them. Yoosung groaned.

    “Oh so that’s why Mc and Saeran are doing their own thing, then?” Saeyoung asked.

    “I wasn’t aware Saeran had shown up at her side but, yes, they have the morning free to do as they wish.” V tucked away his phone after sending another message. “The crew should be here within the hour.”

    “Huh, right. Saeran doesn’t work with us, does he? That’s so weird to think about, he hangs out here so much but he’s technically just loitering around without reason.” Yoosung thought aloud.

    “Hey! He’s not loitering. He’s family. You’ve had your parents visit before.” Saeyoung insisted.

    “Yeah but they didn’t live here for an unspecified amount of time. I’m not complaining, I was just stating that it’s weird to think he doesn’t really have a role here.”

    “He’s moral support.”

    Yoosung snorted. “Yeah, for some reason, I don’t get the feeling that Saeran is all that big of a fan.”

    “Now, why would you think such a thing?” Saeyoung demanded, sounding offended.

    He raised an eyebrow incredulously. “Really? We write corny pop music y’know?”

    “Good pop music. Plus, we’re a group of pretty boys, who’s not a fan of that?” he punctuated it with a wink.

    Yoosung rolled his eyes. “And we’re back to that discussion.”

    “What discussion?” Zen sauntered in, obnoxiously attractive in some level of eyeliner that they usually reserved for live appearances. He must have heard they were recording today and figured Saeyoung might bring his camera to video some behind-the-scenes.

    “Nothing of importance.” Yoosung draped his arm over his eyes, attempting to get a bit of rest before having to go record. He considered skipping out on the dance practice later, he was already feeling the weight of fatigue creeping on him.

    He couldn’t see, but heard V’s phone ring. “Hello? Oh! Right we’ll be right there.” There was a click. “The recording team is here, we should find Jumin and Jaehee.”

    Yoosung groaned.

    Saeyoung kicked him in the legs, enough to prompt him into moving them out of the way so he could sit down too. They sat like that in the quiet for another few minutes before Yoosung lifted his arm again to see that V and Zen had left. He recovered his eyes.  

    “You sleep last night?” Saeyoung asked, breaking the blissful silence of the room.

    “Videogames.”

    “Hm.” He heard him fumble with his bag for a moment. “Want an unhealthy, sugary concoction of caffeine and carbonation?”

    “Not if you’re gonna describe it like that.” He chuckled from the other side of the couch and Yoosung heard him open the soda with a hiss. He really should have tried to sleep last night.

    After taking a sip, Saeyoung closed the bottle again. “Seriously though, you’ve been sleeping less and less lately. You doing alright?”

    “Fine, why?”

    “I just said you’ve been sleeping less, also this kind of started a few months ago and as your best friend I’m contractually obligated to ensure some semblance of your emotional wellbeing.”

    Yoosung moved his arm again to stare at Saeyoung with new confusion. “One, almost none of that made sense to me. Two, who said you’re my best friend?”

    “I did, when I decided you were _my_ best friend. Law of equal exchange, Yoosung.”

    “You’ve lost me again, but whatever.” He laid his arm back down.

    “So… is this you consenting to being my best friend?”

    “If it will make you shut up.”

    “It won’t.” a higher and slightly hoarse voice answered. He peeked again to see Mc walking in, Saeran on her heels wiping sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt. Yoosung swallowed and forced his arm back over his eyes. That should _not_ have been attractive. He really needed to sort himself out.

    “Morning, bro! How’s the practicing going?” Saeyoung greeted cheerily.

    “Don’t call me that. And… it’s fine? I guess?” Saeran sounded adorably confused by his own answer.

    “We’re taking a break since we mostly have a chill day.” Mc added, accompanied by an ‘oof’ of her plopping down on the adjacent couch. “No need to rush ourselves It’ll be a nice sort of free day to just jam.”

    “What are you practicing right now?” Saeyoung asked.

    “Some combination stuff that I want to add to one you guys’ dances. And a new duo piece I want to learn to stay in top form.”

    “Sounds fun.” Yoosung said half-heartedly.

    “Once you guys are done recording today, and after the ballet warmup, I really want to see how it would look all together.”

    “Has Jumin sent you the other rehearsal recording we had from yesterday? If you want to pick a piece to stick it to, that one’s an option.” Saeyoung suggested.

    “Hm, no he hasn’t. That’s… weird. He’s usually really good about keeping me updated…” Mc seemed to trail off, sounding concerned.

    “He’s been kinda stressed lately. I’ve got ‘em on my phone if you want me to send ‘em to you.”

    “Didn’t bring my headphones, so don’t worry about it.”

    “Here, use mine! I’ll be using the recording headphones today anyway. Just give ‘em back whenever!”

    “Thanks, dude! Way to step up. I’mma listen to these now, while I can.” There was a shuffling of fabric and plastic and Yoosung figured Saeyoung had handed over his headphones.

    “Have fun! I guess I’m gonna drag Yoosung to the recording room so we can wait for the rest of the gang.”

    “Ughhhhhhh!” Yoosung groaned before he felt a tug on his ankle.

    “C’mon, sleepyhead!”

    “Noooo, five more minutes.” He heard Mc giggle from somewhere to his right.

    “I will flip this couch on you.”

    “Prove it. Jumin will have your ass if you scratch the floor.”

    “Watch your mouth!”

    “Let me rest.”

    “Never!”

     

     

    Saeran watched the banter between the two, one part curious as to why Yoosung was so tired, and one part just amused by their actions. He’d even almost forgotten his initial not-exactly-discomfort-making-it-an-even-weirder-thing from when he and Mc had first gotten to the lounge.

    Not that he wanted to admit it after only a few weeks, but Saeran might have been settling in and getting more comfortable around Saeyoung. He definitely couldn’t think about it too long or he’d gross himself out. It was too weird. Hard to hate someone for a good chunk of one’s life and suddenly try to not.

    He could at least say he was becoming more comfortable with the rest of the group.

    He watched them trudge out, Saeyoung looked pleased. He sunk further into his chair and scrolled through an app on his phone, deleting messages on a social media account asking if he was Saeyoung Choi. Mc seemed content to take a break as well, grabbing a water bottle from the small fridge in the corner and tossing one into his lap.

    “Your voice sounds better.” She said cheerfully.

    “Yes I’ll show you the song later.” He had no patience for her not-so-subtle hints at reminding him about it.

    “Aw hell yeah! A special solo performance tonight and tonight only! Wanna order pizza or something?”

    “I would actually rather you not make a huge deal about it. Unless you’re planning to hang around for another reason.”

    “Mmmm, we can watch movies too? Or play games! Yoosung has been trying to show me the one he plays but I’m god awful at the controls.”

    “Lolol? Meh, it’s just a lot of diverting your attention. S’long as you keep up with what’s happening it’s pretty basic.”

    Mc seemed to ponder this information for a moment, before settling on, “I didn’t know you even played.” As her response.

    Saeran shrugged. “I have in the past, yes.”

    “Is this information you want to keep hidden or can I mention it to Yoosung?”

    “Why would you want to?”

    “He was moping about never getting to play with anyone yesterday at practice.”

    He rolled his eyes. “If you must.” He finished off his water bottle and pushed himself to his feet to throw it away. “Did you want to get back to it soon or relax a little longer?”

    “I’d rather not let my heart rate get back down right away.” Saeran nodded and hopped up to head back to the practice room. 

     

    Tired though Yoosung was, he managed to keep his voice clear enough for the three hours of recording. He forced himself to shake off the pressing fatigue after a few vocal warmups enough to not bring the group down and get some clear enough recordings. They ended up finishing early at Jumin’s request.

    The sound team seemed satisfied by the content they’d gotten, though, despite it being barely two thirds of what they had initially planned to get done and said they’d come back next week with that cleared up to get the rest.

    Though eager for a nap, Mc was just as brutal during their practice as always.

    “Mc it’s lunchtime, let us leeeave.” Zen groaned after about an hour of ballet instruction.

    “Absolutely not. We’ve barely started.” She folded her arms, leaning against the bar they’d been practicing with. “You guys are still too stiff with your movements. Stop thinking like a modern style dancer.”

    “But we are modern style dancers.”

    “Which is why I’m here. Stretch again.” A resounding groan passed between Saeyoung, Zen, and Yoosung. “Don’t give me that! I know you haven’t been stretching every few hours in your own time so if you’re not going to do that we have to make up for it here!”

    Yoosung heaved a sigh and sat down to stretch.

    “I have too been stretching at home.” Zen folded his arms in defiance.

    “Prove it to me, be able to do a split in a month.”

    “You suck.” Mc offered him a hand heart and went to stand behind Jumin, who had so far kept quiet while following her instruction.

    “Stand straighter and spread your feet more, ballerinas have some of the best posture in the world so that will do wonders for your positioning in performances.” She passed on to Saeyoung, who was sat down beside Yoosung reaching for his toes, and pushed down on his back so his nose was almost against his knees.

    “Mc, I had no idea you could be so ruthless with this. You led us into a false sense of security for the first routine.” Saeyoung groaned, sitting back up and shifting his legs to lean sideways towards his foot.

    “I’m being paid well for this.”

    “Good to know that our earnings are going to a good place.” Zen grumbled.

    “They’re going towards making you better performers so you can earn even more. I’m an investment, not just an employee.” Mc said, beaming while they finished counting down each stretch.

    Yoosung rolled his shoulders, standing back up to hold the bar while he pulled one foot up behind himself.

    “After the ballet stuff, are we going to start on the new routine today?” Jaehee asked, pulling one arm behind her head with the other.

    “Maybe. I’m thinking I’ll show you guys what I’ve got in mind but I doubt we’ll make much headway.” She shuffled closer to her and lowered her voice, enough that only them two, and Yoosung just close enough, could hear her. “between the three of us, Jumin’s not looking too hot so I’m thinking I’ll end this early.” 

    “What time were you thinking?”

    “Hm, maybe 2:30 or so? Maybe earlier.” Mc leaned against the bar, somewhat beside Jaehee, considering for a moment. “Wanna get lunch afterwards? It won’t be that late.”

    “Actually me, Zen, and Saeyoung were thinking of seeing a movie after we finished today. We don’t’ get much free time…” Jaehee said apologetically.

    “Heeeeey why wasn’t I invited?” Yoosung grumbled, standing up.

    “Because Saeyoung said you were tired and nobody wants to carry you home if you fall asleep at the cinema.”

    “Still would’ve been nice to be invited.”

    “Complain to him, not me.” She pulled both arms over her head. “Next time though, we could maybe see about dinner.”

    “That sounds fun!”

    Yoosung turned back to the bar, lifting one foot to rest on it to stretch his body to the side. He couldn’t really stay mad at Jaehee, she was right, after all. He debated taking a nap or something when he got home but figured that would only screw up his sleep schedule more.

    About thirty or so minutes later and at least three more demanded stretches, Mc waved them all over to the corner with her laptop and chair.

    “Ok so I’ve had a vision! Once that came to me after you guys showed me this song!” she hit play on a audio file and one of the recent ones they’d recorded that Jaehee had actually written, it’s lyrics were a lot of slow seductive whispering and had a lot of talk about sheets and beds. It was actually one of the best she’d written, in Yoosung’s opinion. She didn’t often write about more adult themes but when she did they really shone.

    Mc clicked off of the audio file and brought up a video already full screen so they couldn’t read the title. “And this here is where I decided to take inspiration.” Hitting play, Yoosung quickly recognized the song and faces. Even though they weren’t wearing the glittery stage costumes he’d met them in since this was clearly a dance practice video, their voices and faces were easily noticed.

    “Isn’t this… BlackPurple’s As If It’s Your First?” Zen leaned forward, confused. The four-membered girl group was one of the better known groups, having even toured with RFA once. Their members weren’t particularly mean and politely friendly, but very close knit and uninterested in integrating themselves in with their tour partners at the time.

    “Yes it is!” The video was cued up to somewhere in the middle, where all four of the girls had gathered for shifting hip motions that they then shifted into a formation for the chorus. There was a lot of silence from the group watching.

    “So… you want to choreograph us something for a girl group? We’re more complicated and advanced than this, you know.” Zen said and Saeyoung and Jumin both nodded in agreement.

    “You guys are missing what I’m trying to show you. I said I’m taking inspiration from this, their style. Pay closer attention to how they move their hips and feet, with each step they shift their weight and notice how often they touch themselves and each other.” They weren’t exactly sure what she was getting at, so the group was more touchy feely and alluring and- Oh!

    She grinned when their faces lit up in understanding. “This group is great at using small movements to their advantage to get their message across with the dance, ballet has not only been getting you guys lighter on your feet, but it’s also getting you to move your spines more, if we can get you guys good at the same hip motions this routine will spell itself out easily.

    “You all are hot, no doubt, and even if you dance like you know it, for this song you need to dance like you want everyone else to know it, and by that I mean we’re cranking up the sex appeal.” Mc closed her laptop, having successfully gotten them all on board based on their eager grins. “So, keep stretching tonight, and try and watch a couple more of Blackpurple’s routine videos as well as a few other girl groups with a similar style. Red Satin is another good one that I’d check out, and a personal favorite just in general. But yeah that’s your homework for today! You are dismissed!”

    Zen chuckled at being sent away like a schoolkid and Yoosung passed Saeran waiting in the lounge with his eyes closed in a sort of half asleep state as he headed out.

    He noticed Jumin not following them out and instead heading back to his own office, his cell phone pinging again with two notifications back to back and visibly flinching.

     

 

    Mc followed Saeran home close on his heels as soon as she’d gathered up her shit from the practice room. Of course she did; if she forgot he would most certainly take the opportunity out of showing her the song at all. It wasn’t an option. Saeran had promised and Mc planned to collect. He wouldn’t make an effort out of it anyway. She knew how much he stressed about disappointing people.

    That was such a huge hurdle for him, really. He had so many people in his life that he couldn’t shake the feeling that they were better than him and it really weighed down on his shoulders. Mc was so proud of him for moving past enough to finish a song again. Maybe being around his brother _was_ helping after all. The thought made her swell with pride, though she figured if he made that connection he’d get all grossed out again.  

    It wasn’t until she got into his apartment and let the door swing shut behind her that she noticed Saeyoung’s headphones still around her neck. Huh. Guess she’d forgotten to return them. Whoops. She set them on a coffee table to pick up on her way out. Saeran probably wouldn’t appreciate the distraction. She could give ‘em back tomorrow.

    “So d’you wanna order pizza now and stuff or what’s the game plan for tonight?”

    “I told you I didn’t want to make an event out of it. Let’s just… get it over with.”

    “Rip it off like a bandaid! I can dig it. I’ll go ahead and order the food and you can show me while we wait then? Then play games or watch a movie?”

    “Sure, whatever.” Saeran mumbled gloomily.

    “’Sure whatever.’” Mc mimicked, earning her a glare.

    “I’m sorry, I don’t have to show you the song.”

    “No! I’m sorry!”

    “That’s what I thought.”

     

    Saeyoung got about two blocks down the road, headed to the theater with Zen and Jaehee before remembering he hadn’t his headphones on anymore. Quickly turning his car around he parked just in time to watch Mc and Saeran disappear into their shared apartment building.

    Saeyoung knew which room was Mc’s and went there first to find her only for the door to be unfortunately locked and empty (not that he actually went inside to check he just. Guessed. Yeah. He guessed.)  They must have gone to Saeran’s place then. He shrugged and stepped back to the elevator.

    Up on the third floor hallway he paused at the door, considering knocking, then realizing he probably wouldn’t be let in. With a shrug he took the handle, testing it to find it pleasantly unlocked.

 

    “Ok.” Saeran sat on his bed with the keyboard pulled up in front of him on its stand and clicked play on the recording he had set it to, preparing to combine it with chords from a different setting. Mc felt a grin pull at her face and turned around enough to hide it from Saeran, already giddy with how much effort he’d put into the song just for her.

    The first few notes were jarring, a minor key but they moved up and down the scale in a way that naturally set the tone. Saeran added manual chords then let the beat set in, stopping and letting the recording play, speaking now.

    The first verse was short, mostly short sentences. It was about anxiety, fear, and fit the unsettling tone of the music. The manually played chords returned strong for the chorus and Mc had to fight herself not to nod her head along to the beat. Saeran had a very nice singing voice, it was higher than his brothers but with a slight husk to it, almost hoarse sounding when he spoke but it perfectly with his own music.

    The second verse was faster, several more sentences filling the space. Saeran’s voice was mesmerizing. When he had a hand free he would click up a setting on his keyboard to alter the beat and timing. Certain pieces were rough and the beat could have been improved upon but otherwise it sounded like something Mc would buy.

    She covered her grin during the bridge, when it was just chords on the piano and he slowed down, then added longer notes and more emphasis on the chorus again after that. She didn’t know much about singing but he did that thing where he sings multiple notes in one and it’s really awesome.

    While the music faded so did his voice, tapering off before the recorded music ran out and he sat back, taking another steadying breath.

    Mc gave him fifteen seconds to process himself then shifted to face him. “Permission to gush?”

    “Denied.”

    “Permission to compliment?”

    He gave her a side look. “Tread lightly.”

    “That was… very, very good.” She wasn’t successfully keeping her face neutral but oh well. “It sounds like something I’d hear on the radio, but like, one of those edgy rap stations.”

    “Right.”

    “In a good way! It sounded like something I’d buy or that would sell! Saeran that was awesome!” Saeran made an uncomfortable ‘meh’ sort of noise but he was also smiling somewhat. “That was probably the best one you’ve shown me!”

    “I. Thanks Mc, that means a lot. I’m… glad you liked it.”

    “Will you record this one and let me listen to it on my phone in the future? Pleeeease?”

    “Don’t push it.”

     

    Saeyoung forgot he had been eavesdropping, he wasn’t even paying attention to the two talking, brain tripping over itself while he desperately tried to process what he’d just heard and seen. Saeran’s voice was… good! It was good! It sounded good it- why had he never mentioned this before! He tried to think back to when he’d taken singing lessons new in the band. Even if he’d been told he had natural talent he had to practice breathing techniques and ways of increasing volume and strengthening his lungs and-

    Dance exercises would increase lung capacity. Other than that though, everything he’d just heard was raw talent. Saeyoung knew it. He _knew_ it he’d just hit puberty sooner! Shit he had to tell V! He needed to tell Jumin he-

     

    Saeran pulled the door open, Mc on his heels.

    Green and gold eyes widened simultaneously. All three were frozen for a solid moment. Saeyoung managed to collect himself enough to speak at the same time as his twin.  

    “What are you doing in my house!?”

    “You can sing?!”

    Saeran visibly flinched. “You heard me-“

    “Saeyoung what the hell? You can’t just barge into someone’s house! What’s wrong with you?” Mc demanded, only for Saeran to turn to her in a blind rage.

    “Did you know about him!?”

    “No! I would never!”

    “You had his headphones earlier!”

    “Saeran, I love you, but please don’t let his stupidity think I wanted him to listen in on that. Please trust me p- Where the hell do you think you’re going?!” Saeyoung had turned and bolted out while she was talking. He was taller and had longer legs and even though he could hear her running behind him, shouting “Get the fuck back here, you shithead I’m not done with you!” he managed to get in and down the elevator before she could catch up.   


    “I just need to _think_.” Jumin pinched the bridge of his nose, a nervous habit he was quickly developing. “He’s insistent. He _knows_ this will stress me out and he _knows_ that if he keeps this up I’ll cave.” He paced the office from wall to wall. “He knows exactly how to get his way, as always.”

    V watched him while chewing his inner cheek, feeling useless. “What we need is something… something that will re-interest fans and pull in new ones. Something to put us in celebrity news but not something bad... “

    “A scandal right now would just make things worse. Maybe announce a new direction with the videos or performances? Mc I think said she was doing something special with the new routine. But that’d take too much effort and we’d have to call back and change things already decided.” the computer pinged as another email flashed its alert sound, almost as if it knew the situation and wanted to punctuate it. He groaned. “That’s him again, demanding an answer.” He didn’t even need to look at it. He just knew.

    “Something tells me that he’s just trying to make an excuse to pull you out. If he doesn’t get what he wants he’ll bribe you again. Support or you.” V huffed. “This is difficult, but I’m sure we-”

    “Doesn’t he have _anything_ better to do than badger me about this?”

    “We just need to think. What’s something we could do to relight our image? There’s got to be something. Something obvious. Something we haven’t considered yet-” He stopped talking abruptly. There were footsteps approaching the office and they both fell silent in confusion, listening to them approach before the door flew open with a crash.

    Saeyoung seemed to have kicked it in again for his signature ‘important entrance’. He was also panting, like he’d just run there.

    …What?

    “V! V, Jumin! You’re both here!” he pushed his hair out of his face and wiped a fogged corner of his glasses rapidly, not even trying to catch his breath. “Thank god! Ok, V!” V flinched under him suddenly pointing.

    “Yes?”

    “Do you promise to tell the absolute truth and only the truth and nothing but the truth for the following minutes?” Saeyoung panted, wasting zero time with tact, and zero time to breathe.  

    “I-w- y- uh.” V faltered.  

    He backtracked. “No personal or invasive questions I swear!”

    “I- uh… alright.” V’s eyes quickly darted to Jumin, who looked equally panicked.  

    “Ok!”

    Jumin shook away the surprise and stood up, now irritated at being interrupted. “Saeyoung what on earth is this-”

    “No! Shut up! V! Yes or no, did I, five years ago, ask for Saeran to be in the band with me when you and Rika first proposed the idea?” What?

    V swallowed, remarkably confused, but answered anyway. “You… you did.”

    “Right. And, yes or no, didn’t Rika tell me, and I quote, ‘Saeran can’t sing like you can, so he couldn’t be with us.’?”

    V squinted again. “...She did.”

    “And after that, I asked her, _and I quote_ , ‘If he could sing like me, could he?’?”

    “Yes that also happened.”

    Saeyoung smiled, something that should not have been as foreboding as it was. “And finally, did you or did you not, say yes in response to that?”

    “Where is this all going?” Jumin finally asked what they were both thinking.

    Saeyoung grinned madly, something not just foreboding, but now also frightening.  

    “Saeran can sing!”

    Despite the obvious buildup, that… was not what V thought he was going to say. All that preamble for that… something… Was he saying what V thought he was saying? No. No way it would be so easy.

    “How… what do you mean? How do you know?” The solution was… _far_ too lucky.  

    Saeyoung was euphoric. “I heard him. Just now. He wrote something original and he was showing it to Mc so I hung back and he sounded good! He sounded great! He’s got a good voice like me he just hit puberty later! You said it yourself. If he can sing he can join!”

    V… V had said that. He couldn’t just go back on it. That…

    Jumin stood up, disbelief and hope mingling in his tone of voice. “Saeyoung are you… are you serious? You think he should-”

    “He already knows our new routines, he can write pieces and he’s comfortable around the rest of the group! It could draw in a whole bunch of new attention!” Saeyoung was still talking, but V was several steps ahead, picturing the new member.

    “He could fill an image role we haven’t yet filled, too.” V said. If Saeyoung was the fun member, Saeran would easily balance that with a heavy punk appearance. Bad boy felt a bit demeaning but at the same time…

    “Jumin this…” V met Jumin’s eyes. There would be no debating.

    More footsteps sounded from down the hall just before Zen looked in, confused.

    “Hey I heard running and loud talking, what’s going on? Saeyoung, Jaehee and I were waiting for you at th-”

    Saeyoung grinned at him. “Saeran can sing!”

    “Huh?”

    “Saeyoung! Dammit! Get back here!” The room was quickly becoming crowded with the new people. Mc had just joined them, also panting, though considerably less happy-looking than Saeyoung. “What the hell? You can’t just break into someone’s house and eavesdrop on-“

    “Saeran can join the band!” Saeyoung cut her off, undeterred.

    “He-what?!”

    “What?!” Zen and Mc nearly yelled at the same time.

     “He can join the band! He- Mc!” something else seemed to occur to him, momentarily dampening his joy and he grabbed her shoulders. “Mc you’ve gotta convince him to do it!”

    “Am I hearing this right?” she stared at him, then at Zen, thoroughly thrown for a loop. Zen looked at a loss for words too.

    “He doesn’t like to sing for anybody else right? But you can convince him to do it, he trusts you!”

    “Maybe not anymore. He kinda thinks you heard him because of me, right now.” She folded her arms, starting to catch up.

    “But you can still do it! Come on! Mc please, this will be great for everyone! He’ll really be part of the group!” Saeyoung was outright begging now, desperate for his brother’s antisocial tendencies to not get in the way. “Please!” V could sense his and Jumin’s simultaneous concern.

    There was a slow, but noticeable, weakening of Mc’s defiance. Her shoulders relaxed and she glanced away from the rest of them, visibly contemplating how to go about convincing Saeran. She hadn’t really intended to argue the idea when she’d first heard it. Saeyoung looked so happy about the idea; he really cared about his brother, even if he showed it by making rash but generous decisions about him joining their pop band.

    She made eye contact with Saeyoung for a very heavy beat, just to watch him squirm, before her mouth twitched.

    “… Ok. I’ll try.” Nah she could do it. What were best friends for other than forcing each other into social situations that would temporarily make them uncomfortable but ultimately be good for their life and relationships. Yeah she could do it. She’d gotten him this far, hadn’t she?

    V glanced back at Jumin and nodded.

    “Mc, you’ve got two days to convince him, I’ll contact my father and Vanderwood. Recording and filming will start immediately.”


	9. The Big Reveal™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i mean the title says it all my dude  
> its the big reveal time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one feels kind of short but i didnt have anything else to put here. i promise the next one will be longer.  
> also remember back in chapter one when i pretended i was going to titled these seriously?  
> yeah that was funny.

2 New emails. 17 unread.

 

New video notification from RFAmusicVEVO:

Link: Lost and Found, RFA Official Music Video.

 

    The video opens dark, then slowly lightens to show a slow pan over and up a tall, tall building in an indistinguishable city while the first few chords keyboard in and repeat. The video cuts to a dark alleyway where the group of six wait at starting positions for the choreography. The whole group is wearing matching white button ups with dark dress pants and a black tie. Two sit on the ground, three stand with one off separated from the group. Up close on this outlier, one with white hair and his face turned away steps into them, one arm out to pull another aside and all but one of the group shifting with his motions as though he pulled them aside himself. The one that remained in place steps forward to take the starting lead.

    It cuts to that same young man at a computer, glasses on and wearing a disheveled suit and tie, his blazer draped over his chair. He doesn’t take his eyes off the computer while reciting the vocals. Beside him, a name looks like it is typed into existence: Agent 707. He looks stressed and runs his hands through his hair while his voice picks up intensity, he’s hopeless, can’t find the ‘her’ of the song, lost.  

    At the choreography shot, another steps forward to take the second half of the verse, still speaking, though this time about remembering what they had and letting it guide their search, the group’s motions are fast and jerky, keeping up with the urgency of the synth.

    Cut back to 707 at the computer, a hand is laid on his shoulder and the camera pans up to a woman looking concerned and blending with what must be her voice speaking. She wears the exact same suit as him, though hers is in better condition with her blazer buttoned. Beside her, the words, ‘Agent Jaehee’, appear. She sets a steaming mug beside his hand and walks away.

    Back at the choreography, Jaehee is leading the motions, which jump from person to person, cannoning each other by twos and bringing them to a formation with two of them’s arms clasped and two knelt down.

    A new lead takes the vocals, stepping beneath the arms and into the center of the formation, before cutting to that same man sitting atop a building, binoculars tilting down as the camera focuses on his face and his long white hair billowing in the wind of the height.

    He seems to be on some sort of lookout, the words typing out ‘Agent Zen’ across the lenses of his binoculars, while he recites the words before there’s a dropping of the music, cutting back to the choreography where the group is crouched forward.

    With a heavy hit of the music, they’re singing the chorus, moving together. Lost and found, won’t stop searching till what’s lost is found. Their backs to the audience, cut back to a dark haired member from the group standing in front of a glowing screen, arguing with an indistinguishable face. ‘Agent Jumin’ types out beside him.

    The second half of the chorus, slower and in a higher key plays, while cutting briefly back to the dancing, then to the last member of the group to speak on his own at a shooting range of sorts. He pulls the goggles and earmuffs off to speak the background words from the singing chorus, wondering why they song’s subject is still lost. Why won’t she be found?

    ‘Agent Yoosung’ types out across a door behind him before it opens and he is waved out of the room by Jaehee.

    The chorus ends and the group in the alleyway has gathered into a new formation, movements almost looking to be controlled by 707 in center shot while he directs with one arm for them to crouch to one side then spin their bodies in a full circle.

    Cut to a new shot, this one nearly completely dark save for the bright green computer screen behind the silhouette of the sixth member of the group, yet to be named and somewhat of an outlier. There’s a close up of hands typing rapidly at a keyboard before cutting to the rest of the named agents, standing in a large warehouse of sorts, face to face with a group of foes, all clad in the same dark jacket and wearing masks that cover the lower half of their faces.

    As the pre-chorus begins, the video returns to the dancing group, now standing in the same warehouse, joined by a dozen or so extras behind the first six all in a slowed down but complex step sequence and wearing the same masks as the enemies from the story. As the pre-chorus ends it cut back to the man at the computer, only this time from behind the monitor, the light illuminating his face and showing the dark under eye circles, piercing green eyes, and hollowed out cheeks in ghastly detail.

    His voice is commanding and rough with emotion -a brief look back at the dance shows him in the center- he leans back in his chair with a devious grin, and finally the words “Error, name Unknown’ key up beside him, before cutting back to the rest of the group facing off against the enemies, that converge in a choreographed fight, briefly flashing between their dance and the battle.

    Their words match up to the motions of the fight, they won’t stop searching, she’s lost but they will find her. Every few beats it will cut back to Unknown at the computer, relishing in controlling the enemies. The agents are outmatched but like the song says, they won’t stop fighting until they’ve found what they lost.

    As the chorus repeats the agents gain the upper hand in the fight, and Unknown’s eyes flash with rage from his hidden location. Their foes are lying on the ground now, and the dance shows the extras doing the same as it shifts into the bridge of the song.

    In the dance they’ve dropped to their knees, all except Unknown, the outlier who sings of what if she’s lost forever, what if she doesn’t want to be found. The agents of the story are rushing up the stairs of the warehouse, setting timers on corners as they go. Then at the dance 707 steps aside from the group formation, taking lead singing again, as the agents finally find a long, dark room at the highest floor of the warehouse they’d been searching out, the end of which is illuminated by a large computer monitor.

    The bridge builds intensity while 707 steps out of his group to face Unknown, on his own, he will find what he lost or die searching, he won’t _ever_ stop searching.

    The chorus drops again, hardest now with the end approaching, and it’s cut back to the dance, their steps and motions pulling all the stops and the extras from the background back on their feet with them. The speed of the steps is vicious and Unknown even kicks himself into a series of flips and spins on the floor. The story shows 707 and Unknown engaged in a grapple, and the latter realizes too late that it was all a distraction to shut down his computer, the files being visibly deleted and the system going dark.

    The dancing group drops to their knees hard again, only to spring back up while the story shows Unknown being dragged out of the building, kicking and screaming, but he’s no match for the combined strength of 707, Zen, and Yoosung. They pass the timers on the corners, counting down to the end.

    The movements build, before the formation breaks entirely and the scatter in all directions, the music growing for its conclusion. With the warehouse cleared, the agents run past at top speed without a cut in the video, Unknown now thrown over Zen’s shoulder.

    They’re just out of the building before the music ends and an explosion behind them completely overtakes the screen. It’s eerily silent as the fire rages and they each turn around to watch the building crumble. Unknown is set down and he takes several steps away, staring at them in disbelief after they went out of their way to save him from the explosion. 

    The screen darkens before a large ‘Coming Soon to theaters’ sign flashes, as though the whole video were just a trailer for a movie, even following it up with credits stating who played what character.

    ‘Jaehee Kang as Agent Jaehee, Yoosung Kim as Agent Yoosung, Hyun Ryu as Agent Zen, Jumin Han as Agent Jumin, Saeyoung Choi as Agent 707’ there’s a long moment of black screen before the final credit rolls past, in triumphantly larger letters: ‘and introducing Saeran Choi as Unknown’.

    The video then ends. 

 

Down in the comments section of the video, scrolls through the large collective meltdown happening among the first responders of the new video.

     

    Posted by Mina Austin, just now:

    HOLY SHIIIIIIIIT HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHIT!!!!!!!!

    0 likes, 0 comments

     

    Posted by Elana Moonmoon, ten seconds ago:

    IS UNKNOWN A PERMANENT MEMBER NOW? I NEED ANSWERS!

    3 likes, 0 comments

     

    Posted by Jenny Choi, 30 seconds ago:

    WHO’S THE NEW HOT GUY I’M IN LOVE!

    7 likes, 1 comment

     

    Posted by Cookie Fairy, one minute ago:

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHH FJDSKALJFEWOAFDJSA FDKSAFJAIEWAFJDSKAJFDS KKFDSJAFKLJDASDJKAF;DAJS FDSRUIGHJFDUFIDJSKAAOIWFDIJSA FDKSAJFDSKALOFJDISOAJ!!!!!!!!

    19 likes, 2 comments

     

    Posted by Dave Strider, one minute ago:

    Hhhhhhhh b oys  

    7 likes, 6 comments

     

    Posted by Hannah Banana, three minutes ago:

    His last name is choi??? Like 707’s???? Are they related ? They look kinda alike I can’t tell!

    24 likes, 9 comments

     

    Posted by Sungmin Park, five minutes ago:

    OMGOMGOMGOMG NEW BAND MEMBER? IS THIS FOR PERMANENT?

    45 likes, 35 comments

     

    Posted by Ely, ten minutes ago:

    First!

    65 likes, 7 comments

     

 

Second email notification,

 

New video notification from RFAofficial:

Link: New Member of RFA?! Lost And Found behind the scenes!

 

    The channel’s intro sped through, showing the band members in different states of rehearsal and performance, before worbling out like a record and displaying the title and logo. It static transitions to black then opens on one Saeyoung Choi holding the camera away from his face in one hand. Quietly in the background, the new song is playing.

    He grins up at the screen for a beat, “Behold, I, the mighty 707 will now read the minds of everyone who just watched the newest video, -ahem-“ he takes a breath and lets out a very loud, triumphant and euphoric scream. “AHHHHH!!! See? I read your mind! It’s amazing unreal magic! Mwahahaha!

    “I’m sure you’ve got a lot of questions! Or you will, since at the time I’m recording this, the new video is still being filmed and edited, but because I hate making you wait for answers, I’m offering some!”

    The camera wobbles as though he handed it to someone else before stepping back and letting it zoom out so the room he is standing is in better focus, the lounge, with a few people talking in the background, though they are out of focus.

    He speaks very deliberately, drawing out each word. “Introducing, to everyone’s delight, the new, _permanent,_ member of RFA, DA DA DAAAAH!” it pans over to show Unknown from the music video, no longer in his villain hacker costume, but instead a large gray hoodie, as he looks up at the loud noise, pulling an earbud out of one ear. “My brother Saeran!”

    “Wh-“

    “So for everyone who is wondering where I’ve been this past month, I’m not dead or avoiding you all! I am regretfully sworn to secrecy and the only way they can keep me from spilling the beans is uh, silence.” He chuckles sheepishly.

     “But! If you guys thought I was thrilled about Mc joining our crew, you haven’t seen anything yet! Our group was looking for something to really bring us back in the news and we’d been thinking of having him hop on board for awhile and finally we had the perfect song and video to reveal him in!”

    “That’s not what happened-“ Unknown’s speaking voice is startlingly different than his singing voice, still with a scratch to it, though without a note it’s almost hoarse, and slightly higher than his brother’s.

    “Saeran! Say hi to the internet! Everyone is losing their minds the longer they don’t get more details!”

    “The video isn’t finished though how d- what are you even doing? Where did you get a camera?! I thought V confiscated all of your devices!” Upon turning his face to shout at his lookalike, it’s thrown into view that the dark circles and thinner cheeks were not makeup, nor is the crooked nose that looks as though it had been broken several times and not healed correctly.

    “He confiscated my internet connection, phone, laptop, tablet and backup devices of all three. My camera, however, has no link to the outside world without my computer, so fret not, dearest sibling.”

    “What?”

    “There’s no feasible way for me to ruin the surprise, but I just had to tide myself over by recording some of the production! And you too! Talk to the fans! They’re starving for answers!” Saeyoung throws an arm over his shoulder joyously, to which he flinches away from and stands up, sitting in a separate chair entirely.

    “Answers to what?”

    “You! You’re the shiny new thing in the group! Come on, bro! Tell us about yourself!”

    “Why?”

    He huffs through his nose, clearly annoyed, “I just said you were new! The fans know stuff about us! They don’t know about you, though! Come onnn give us something to work with!”

    “I uh… I don’t… know what I’m supposed to say.” Saeran’s eyebrows furrow in childlike confusion and frustration.

    A new voice speaks from just left of the shot. “How’s about, I’m a kickass dancer and major edgelord full of talent that we had been sleeping on for weeks before we got him in on this group!” The camera pans over to one Zen, retying up his ponytail as he sits down on the couch beside Saeyoung. Saeran crosses his arms and glares away from them both.

    “Hi Zen! How’s the video looking so far?”

    “Pretty good. Jumin chewed me out for like twenty minutes for having my tie loose throughout the second choreography shot, and during one of the dance shots Yoosung is a bit off with the lipsynch, though so they’re trying to rework the angle so it’s not noticeable. Other than that nothing much needs too much cleaning up.”

    “First commenter to tell us the exact time of the video where you can see Yoosung’s mouth isn’t in time with his vocals gets a prize.”

    “Don’t do that to poor Yoosung.”

    “If they’re reworking the angle then it shouldn’t be visible anyway.” Saeran mutters from his chair, looking to be ignoring them with his headphones back in.

    “Saeran! Tell us just one thing about yourself! C’mon pleeeeease!” Saeyoung leans out over the arm of the couch, though his brother is still too far away to reach.

    Saeran sighs and pulls his earbuds out again, “Like what?”

    “What’s your favorite color?” Zen offers.

    He looks exhausted by Saeyoung’s overbearing grin for a moment then shrugs. “Pink. Will you leave me alone now?”

    “Wait really? I didn’t expect that.” Zen says.

    “We didn’t even know this! Why pink?”  Saeyoung looks delighted by this, despite how small of an answer it is.

    “I dunno, it just is.” Saeran wraps his earbuds around his phone, irritation in each movement before he stands up. “I’ll be outside, tell V not to look for me.”

    “Oh! I’ll come too!” Zen jumps up eagerly and follows him out, leaving Saeyoung alone.

    He glances at the camera and shrugs. “Well so much for that grand reveal. I apologize for mr grumpy pants not wanting to participate, but I had a backup plan for in case he decided to be prickly. What will follow now are some clips I’ve already taken of some of our practice and preparation, focusing heavily on our new member because I just know you guys want to see more of him!”

    He starts to reach for the camera, but pauses first, “Oh! And before you think he’s always this grouchy, he’s not! I promise he’s as friendly as the rest of us, he just gets prickly around me sometimes. Can’t imagine why!”  

    The video then cuts to the whole group in matching suits save for Saeran in his leather jacketed villain get-up, standing in the warehouse they’d be using to film in. They’re listening to one Mc just in front of them while she’s listing off certain details of the dance.

    “Don’t forget to put as much energy as you can into the finale, your last practice was spot on and I expect to see that again! Saeran, your little solo thing was barely on time then, if you need to cut out one of the motions so you’ve got time to get back in your place it won’t take away from it.”

    Saeran nods and the group spreads out into their formation.

    “Ok we’re starting from the end of the first chorus, so everyone get ready.”

    The video cuts again to peering between a barely opened door, into the practice room, showing Saeran listening to a segment of the song, before pausing it and stepping into a brief hand stand, then letting the weight of his legs carry him into a series of complex-looking spins and steps, keeping with the beat, then flipping his body over a few times, his weight kept on his hands. He hops back up and stumbles before regaining his stance from before.

    He seems to think for a second before rewinding the music and letting it play, letting a pre-thought out combination of footwork and spins carry him with the beat, before slipping and landing heavily on his elbow with a grunt. He rubs the spot for a moment before standing up to rewind the music once again.

    The video cuts to Saeran dozing in the couch of the break room, head pillowed on his arm. He looks much less unhappy when he’s sleeping. It pans over to V and Jumin discussing the video with a young woman with short blonde hair.

    “What do you think of giving him a different outfit, something to get him to stand out more?” The woman is saying.

    “I’m not opposed, though I feel as though he will stand out enough by virtue of just being there.” Jumin says.

    “It’s worth noting that he does wear something different for the story segments, being the implied antagonist and all.” V offers.

    “What if he’s wearing what the rest of the group is during the first choreography shot, then during the second warehouse choreography he can be in his hacker outfit? Since that is after he’s seen on his own, yeah?” the woman suggests.

    “That’s an excellent idea. He said he’s got something extra in mind for the finale, so one he’s… awake,” V briefly glances over at Saeran, fighting off a laugh. “we can ask how effectively he can move in the outfit.”

    “If he needs the jacket adjusted for anything I can alter it, or try and find a different material to make it out of.”

    “I don’t think that will be necessary, but we will keep your offer in mind.”

    The video cuts again to the entire band sitting around a computer, watching the last of the video. It ends and they all turn to congratulate each other everyone grinning and exchanging hugs. It seems even Saeran is capable of smiling as well, looking almost confused by the excitement, but still happy.  

    “This has to be our best one yet!” Jaehee says, high-fiving Zen, who nods.

    “How soon did they say it would be uploaded?” Yoosung asks.

    “Tomorrow night at 7,” Jumin is even smiling with the group. “It’s being processed online right now, and it will be scheduled for public viewing as soon as it’s done.”

    “Who’s up for dinner to celebrate?” Jaehee glances at the group.

    “Mee!!!” Saeyoung calls from the closest to the camera.

    “Me too!” It sounds like Mc is just out of the video’s edge, also having watched the video.

    “Saeran you’ve gotta come too! This is your big debut after all!” Yoosung insists.

    “Uh, I dunno, wouldn’t me being seen in public with you guys ruin the big reveal thing?” Saeran looks to Jumin for confirmation.

    “We don’t go out announcing we’re RFA, dude, we’ll probably all have to wear hats and scarves and stuff anyway. Undercover disguises.” Zen says.

    “We did just play spies! I’d say we’re qualified to not be noticed.” Saeyoung adds, gesturing to the screen.

    “Yes, unnoticed like when you went to the airport.” Jumin states dryly.

    “We’ll be in a group this time, so you guys can reign me in.”

    “Bold of you to assume we want to bother reigning you in.” Zen grumbles, though his tone is falsely annoyed.

    “I dunno, Jumin, he’s been without technology for three weeks, he might be bursting with unreleased, built-up mayhem.”

    “Jaeheeeee!”

    “We could just leave him here and go eat without him.”

    “Saeraaaaan!”

    “I think that dinner sounds reasonable, on the condition that Saeyoung behaves, and if he doesn’t he’s being sent home no matter if he’s finished or not.” Jumin finally says.

    “YES!”

    “You heard him, Seven, to bed without supper if you screw up!” Zen chuckles.

    “And you leave the camera here too, it might give us away.”

    “Jumiiiiiiiin!”

    The video then ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't repost art from this fic, reblog it at lordessdoodle.tumblr.com
> 
> dance and song referenced for this was bts's run: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S3ZhJGv8JM


	10. How to romance a dumbass: A big day, part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i really want to get to some of the good ship stuff because i've been teasing it for nine years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i really Really wanted to post this all at once, but i had a lot of shit planned for this chapter and it just got to be So Long. it ended up at over 10,000 words which is. yeah.   
> so it's comin in two parts But the next one is already written and will be published like. within the week. maybe tomorrow idk how long i feel like makin yall wait.

    Saeran tries, he really, _really_ tries to sleep in, but the dread and anticipation for the day barely let him fall asleep in the first place. Every nerve in his body was on edge and he kept jerking back awake all throughout the night. It really sucked, since he knew full well the day was going to be long and exhausting at best, and draining and painful at worst.

    He still laid in bed for hours after the sun cane up, hoping he might be euthanized instead, and didn’t leave his apartment until sometime after nine. Somehow, he had been hoping if he’d stayed in bed long enough the day wouldn’t happen and they’d just show up to tell him everything had been cancelled. One could only hope so much.  

    Seemed as though he was the last one to arrive since the rest of the group was already gathered and perked up expectantly when he got into the lounge of the studio. Immediately uncomfortable under the attention, Saeran felt his dread pick up tenfold.

    “Saeran! You’re finally here! Awesome! We were getting worried you’d be late.” Jaehee said cheerfully and invitingly. Gross. This sudden wave of friendliness and interaction from the rest of the band drove him insane. Like, yes, they’d talked to him before but now they actually tried to include him and it felt… wrong and weird.

    “Uh, late for what? Didn’t you say the driver was going to be here at noon?” Saeran glanced down at his phone, stressing at the thought of them changing the plan last minute on him. That would _not_ help his nerves.

    “No, no! Late for when V gets here! He’s bringing a surprise for you before the photoshoot!” Zen waved a hand at him to try and reassure him. It did not reassure him.

    “What kind of surprise?”

    “Just wait and see! You’ll like it I swear.” Saeran wasn’t so sure about that but took a breath and sat down in one of the farthest bean bags in the corner anyway. At least the shapeless giant pillow was of a comfortable shape that he could curl up in.

    It took only thirty seconds before Mc hopped up from her spot beside Yoosung on the couch and joined him.

    “Sooooo, big day today!” he could hear the smile in her voice. Ugh.

    “Don’t rub it in, you know I hate big days.” 

    “You won’t make it better by being so grumbly about it, y’know. I mean it could be worse.” Saeran yawned instead of replying. “Did you have breakfast?”

    “No.”

    “Dummy. Maybe we can go to a diner or something before the conference.” She patted a tune her knees, before hesitantly resting one hand on Saeran’s shoulder, slow enough that he didn’t flinch away or tell her not to. “Did you take your medicine when you got up?”

    “Took extra. S’not helping.”

    She rubbed his shoulder in an attempt to be comforting. “Give it more time. It’d work faster if you ate.”

    “Not hungry.”

    “Well, then that is just too damn bad.”  

    “V!” Saeyoung jumped to his feet to meet their manager at the doorway and assist him with the rather large cardboard box he had in his arms, cutting Mc’s lecture for his bad habits short.

    “Thank you, Saeyoung, we don’t have very long, just over an hour, sorry this fell on a busy day.” V relinquished the box to him and briefly checked the time on his phone.

    “Saeran! This is your surprise! Get over here!” Zen waved him towards them, pushing Saeyoung away from the box before he could try and tear the tape off it with his teeth and using a key from his pocket to slice it off.  

    Waiting until Mc had physically shoved him to his feet, Saeran approached the box while Zen pulled the lid open with a flourish.

    “Envelopes?”

    Zen gave him a dry look. “Dude. Seriously? It’s your fanmail!”

    “Whu-“ Saeran blinked in confusion, the box was easily three quarters full of letters and, he could now see looking closer, packages of different sizes and shapes, a large majority of which were different shades of pink. “The video dropped just a week ago! How did-“

    “Most of this is from locals, it’ll be some time before the international things arrive, but these are all that the PO box had addressed to you.” Jumin explained, curiously picking up an envelope and inspecting it.

    “Every two weeks our own fanmail is brought to our respective apartments, but it’s tradition that we open our first bunch of stuff together!”  Zen handed him a bright pink letter with a wax seal and sprayed down with something that smelled like roses. “However, you must open the first one, then we join in!”

    Saeran looked at the vibrant letter, feeling less overwhelmed and more confused now, but thankfully distracted. He ripped open the top, trying not to tear the paper too much, and pulled out the enclosed paper inside.

    “Read it aloud!” Jaehee encouraged, already holding her own to open next.

    “Uh, ‘Welcome to the band, Unknown. You said pink was your favorite color so I hope you like the envelope. All of the Anarchists are eager to see and hear more of you. Your debut was the highlight of my year, and I’m so excited for the newest album. Even though I doubt you’ll read this yourself, tell the rest of the group I said I love them, sincerely, Mina Myoi.” He finished and folded it back up inside its envelope.

    “How sweet! You started with a good one! First one I opened was a detailed drawing of me kissing the fan that sent it.” Yoosung beamed, then pulled out two envelopes himself. “I have it on my wall.”

    “Huh,” Saeran set the letter down beside him and picked up one of the packages. At that cue the rest of the group gathered began to tear open the things they’d picked up.

    “This one’s a detailed love confession about how… Yuna, it says, had a dream about a sixth member of RFA and just _knew_ you would appear soon and it’s destined to be.” Jaehee announced, and set it aside.

    “This one’s a drawing of you from the video!” Mc held up the watercolor piece of him in front of a computer. In the art style his eyes and jaw were exaggerated to make him look rather spooky. Saeran took it from her with an impressed frown. It was a lovely drawing.

    “Welcome to the band, from Jinwoo in Seoul! Oh! Maybe we’ll see him at the meetup conference later.” Zen set that one on the coffee table, announcing that was the start of ‘welcome to the band’ letters. Jaehee set the love letter she’d opened down beside it, starting her own pile.

    Saeran tugged open the little package he’d picked up and pulled out a little woven bracelet in pink with mint green highlights and beads that spelled out ‘Unknown’.

    “Hey we’ve all gotten those too! Misun is fast! She’s made and sent us all one!” Yoosung pointed it out. Saeran inspected it for a moment before tying it around his wrist to avoid losing it.

    “Ooo! A t-shirt!” Zen held up the contents of another package, a black tshirt with the band members painted in the center, now with six instead of five. “Nice! Hope we all got sent one like it!” he folded it up and set it on its own corner of the table. “If we did, we can wear it at the next fan meetup.”

    “Another love letter.” Jumin set his on the stack.

    “Jumin you get in on this too?” Mc raised an eyebrow.

    “It goes by faster if I participate and we haven’t an abundance of time. Besides, it is tradition.” He gave her short smile before opening the next letter.

    Saeran pulled open a larger envelope, shaking out the photographs of a group of people all wearing RFA merchandise and grinning at the camera and a maroon choker with a little moon charm in the center. He set the choker atop the t-shirt on the table and the photos on the stack with the drawing.

    By the time they finished around 11:45, the love letters had about 24 to the stack, the welcome letters over 30, a dozen or so drawings from the video, and a number of little gifts such as small stuffed animals, picture frames, and buttons took over the latter half of the coffee table. The smaller ones he was afraid of losing were in his pockets. He’d even switched one of the earrings in his ear for one a fan had sent with an ‘error’ charm on it.

    Six letters with nothing but hate or creepy nonsense had been thrown away, but Saeran hadn’t thought too long about those.

    Opening letters was actually pretty fun. Saeran was in… an uncharacteristically good mood, actually.

    “So what d’you think of your first fanmail haul, Saeran?” Yoosung asked when they had finished packing the letter stacks and gifts back in the box for him to take back to his apartment.

    “It’s cool. Your fans are… cool, I guess.”

    “ _Our_ fans, dude. You’re one of us, remember?” Zen nudged him with one elbow and Saeran didn’t flinch away. Huh.

    “Oh. Right.” Right. He’d opened his first fanmail, been in a video, he was a part of the group. That… wasn’t a feeling he was used to. It was weird, kind of itchy, but not a bad way to feel, he supposed. Maybe that itch would go away with time, he just needed to get used to it.

    “I’m super pumped up for the meetup! We’ve met the owners of the center before and the seats on stage are really comfy.” Saeyoung snapped him out of his thoughts, the dread from the morning once again settling in his stomach. “I wish we had had time to make something for the people that show up, though. I miss when we could bring them food and treats and stuff.”

    “Too many people are showing up for that sort of thing now.” Jaehee stretched her shoulders behind her after crouching and opening mail for so long. Lots of people, a whole concert hall full just in the city. Cameras, people talking. Saeran swallowed, that feeling of being ok was slipping through his hands like water.

    “Saeran.” He jumped pretty hard at V beside him, but tried to cover up. “The driver is here, Vanderwood is going to meet you there.”

    “Right.” He stood up, noticing the first letter he’d opened flutter to the ground, accidentally having been left out of the piles set in the box. He tossed it carelessly atop the box without looking and rushed out.

    “Wait! Saeran!” Mc stopped him a step outside of the lounge, where he turned back just in time for her to yank him down into a hug. “Good luck! Call if you need anything! Have fun!”

    “Mc I’ve gotta go-“

    “Nope! You’re feeling the love right now! Vanderwood can wait another thirty seconds.”

    Saeran sighed, and patted her arm, not really hugging her back, though he wasn’t much of a hugger himself. He heard Zen ‘aww’ at them from inside the lounge and rolled his eyes.

    “I’m really proud of you.” Mc said just before leaning away enough to squish his face, smiling.

    “It’s just a photoshoot.” He tugged her hands away and turned again to exit the studio.

    “Yeah but I mean for everything. Just figured I’d let you know before you headed out. I’ll see you guys when you get back from the meetup this evening, ok?” She walked by him to the door where he hesitated.

    “You’re not coming to the meetup?”

    “Not my thing, I’m a behind-the-scenes gal, remember? You’re gonna do great. Try and have fun, ok?” Right.  She had no need to be at the meetup, since she was just their choreographer. Saeran swallowed, that news didn’t help any but he nodded anyway. “Just a photoshoot then an interview. No big deal. You can do it. I know you can.”

    “Thanks Mc. I- it really means a lot, so thanks.” She gave him a double thumbs-up as he pushed the door open and walked out.

    “Knock ‘em dead, hot stuff!”

    Saeran rolled his eyes. “Never mind.” Then opened the door to the dark van that had pulled up right outside the door to the studio and stepped in. He closed his eyes for a few minutes of rest, the car’s engine and dark windows lulling him back into a relaxed enough state.

     

     

     

    Flying high on her good mood, Mc skipped back into the lounge where the group was still lazing about and talking about the fanmail they’d been through. She plopped down onto the couch beside Jaehee, before shuffling down and laying her head on her shoulder without thinking.

    “So what are you guys gonna do until you all head to the photoshoot too?” she let herself get comfortable when Jaehee put her arm around her, basically cuddling now. Hell yeah. God damn Jaehee was soft.

    “Probably get lunch. It’s two hours until they want us to be there.” Zen answered, tapping away on his phone and scooting his feet closer and closer to where Jumin was resting his arm before being swatted away.

    “We might show up early just to bother Saeran. That’s always fun to do when one of us has a solo shoot.” Saeyoung added.

    “Might be a bad idea though, he’s kinda short tempered.” Jaehee suggested.

    “Naw, he can handle a friendly goof. Plus, it’s a new situation, he might appreciate the company.” Mc shook her head.

    Zen snorted. “Yeah right.”

    “Just because he doesn’t always show it, doesn’t mean he doesn’t like hanging out with you guys. He’s really come out of his shell lately, give the guy a little bit of credit.” Mc kicked out with her own foot to push Zen’s off the table and into Jumin’s arm again, where he was shoved aside, again. She snickered at the glare they exchanged.

    “The fanmail looked like it made him happy.” Yoosung said, picking up a stray letter that someone had forgotten to put inside the box itself. “I mean I’m no expert on knowing when he’s happy or not but he was still wearing the bracelet when he left.”

    “No, he was totally having a blast opening stuff!” Mc nodded. “I haven’t seen him look that excited in ages.”

    “I’m glad.” Yoosung smiled and went back to inspecting the odd letter out.

    “So, lunch you said? Like out or order in?”

    “I’m good to go out!” Saeyoung sat up hopefully.

    “You all may do what you wish, as long as you’re at the photoshoot on time so we can leave for the meetup together.” Jumin said, finally standing up out of reach of Zen’s feet. “I need to stay and discuss ticket sales with V. We should consider posting a promotional video for our tour.”

    “I thought all the local places already sold out?” Zen frowned, confused.

    “They have, and we’ve begun selling overflow tickets, but it seems word of them selling out got ahead of the overflow ticket sales’ news.”

    “You guys work too much. You need a break.”

    “Is that concern, I detect?”

    “Never mind go away.”

    Jumin chuckled, smug. “You all should tweet about the ticket sales, if you wish to help.”

    Mc tuned out their conversation and turned her head up to look at Jaehee. “I’m really excited for the show next month! I’m trying to get a few friends from camp to come see.”

    “I’d love to meet your camp friends!” Jaehee smiled down at her and whoops there went Mc’s heart again doing all kinds of lil flips and tricks. Crap, why did Jaehee have to be so damn cute in person? It wasn’t fair to one very weak lesbian.

    “Yeah they’d all lose their minds getting meeting you guys, it’d be awesome.” She wondered if her warm cheeks were visible.

    “Are they just your friends or Saeran’s too?”

    Mc made an “ehh.” noise and waved one hand. “I mean he hung out with us for sure, and one or two of them he maybe considers a friend, but for the most part it was my crew.”

    “Well we can pay for plane tickets if you want. I’m assuming you’re giving them some of the reserve tickets we claim?”

    “If it’s ok with you guys.”

    “I already said I’d love to meet them! If anyone has a problem with them visiting I’ll kick ‘em.” Jaehee stuck out one leg to emphasize her point.

    “How chivalrous of you. I might swoon.”

    “You guys are adorable.” Zen had laid sideways back against his chair now, grinning knowingly at the two cuddling on the couch.

    “Thanks, I know.” Mc leaned further into Jaehee’s side, and she tightened her arm around her. “It’s part of the perks of being so cute individually.” She could feel Jaehee’s body shake when she laughed instead of seeing her face, but that was almost as good.  

    “If you can’t cuddle and look cute with your friends then what’s the point of having them?” _Aw_.

    Oh. Wait. Aw damn. Did-Did she just get no-homo’ed? Mc really hoped her expression didn’t drop too much, or freeze up too much, or change at all.

    What the hell. That sucked a lot more than she had been expecting it to.

    While still trying to work out if Mc was actually in this situation she felt Jaehee shift against her side.

    “Hey, if you guys were serious about going somewhere I should probably go get a driver, yeah?”

    Mc quickly sat up off of her. Jaehee smiled again and stepped out of the room to call whomever she called to get a driver. Mc didn’t really have a chance to lament her absence before her former spot was being claimed by Zen, who similarly threw an arm around Mc’s shoulder, though he wasn’t as relaxed and cuddly as Jaehee. Not that Mc was directly comparing them or missing Jaehee now. Nope.

    “My turn to look cute with a cute girl.” He grinned, then lowered his voice so only she could hear. “First of all, I saw that, second of all, my sincerest condolences.”

     Mc folded her arms, pouting, deciding to not try and ask what he meant. Saeran did always say she was an open book. “It’s fine. If she’s not into girls I get it, not the first time I’ve been shot down by a friend.” She didn’t sound fine, almost comically not, in fact, making Zen chuckle. “What’s so funny?”

    “Well your face right now, for one, and also that you don’t think Jaehee likes girls.”

    Mc raised an eyebrow.

    “Take it from an uncertified expert of romance, Jaehee’s just a big idiot. She wouldn’t know a romantic gesture if it threw coffee in her face.”

    Oh. “Oh.” Mc tapped her chin. “So I’m not no-homo’ed, then?”

    “Not really. For that to happen she has to first realize you ‘homo’ed’ her at all.” Zen made finger quotes then pushed himself back to his feet, ruffling Mc’s hair as he did. “Don’t give up so soon, my dear! You’re too cool for that.” She swatted his hand away, but was at least cheered up enough.

    So Jaehee wasn’t great at recognizing romantic gestures, then? Interesting. Mc tended to over exaggerate every tiny detail in people’s actions, but if subtlety wasn’t going to work she was prepared. Mc was already formulating a game plan in her mind.

    She wondered if Jaehee had any food allergies.  

     

     

     

    Saeran was grateful for the rigid structure of the photoshoot’s schedule. He really didn’t want to be thinking right now, it’d just stress him out more. Granted, the activity itself wasn’t exactly relaxing, but he was still just following orders and that was something he didn’t suck at.

    Once arriving at the fashion magazine’s studio, a large building somewhere in the middle of the city, he was immediately ushered to one of the middle floors where he got shown to a room with a long rack of clothes, the guide explaining that each hanger was marked with a color to show which pieces went together. A paper on the wall told him what order they’d be photographing which colors and if he needed any help with anything to ask one of the assistants. He hadn’t even said a word by then.

    The director for the photoshoot was loud and brash, wasting no time or effort trying to befriend Saeran, which was appreciated, because most of the assistants kept trying to get his attention.

    He’d also finally gotten to meet the band members’ personal agent, Vanderwood, who was… well Saeran couldn’t really form much of an opinion of them. They just seemed to look slightly sour in the corner and snap at the assistants that wouldn’t leave him alone. They had thus far spent the majority of the photoshoot on their phone, either typing at it or making phone calls in a different language each time.

    According to the director, the theme they were going for with his appearance was ‘bad boy’, explaining why most of the outfits were in darker shades and there were so many leather accessories. Punk or goth would have also sufficed as a descriptor, but he figured they weren’t fond of a label of that nature. He’d lit up like it was Christmas when Saeran mentioned his tattoo, insisting it looked cultish or like an edgy hieroglyph of sorts and that it would be perfect to show off in some photos.

    Saeran hadn’t had the heart to tell him it was just the logo for his old dance studio. Call it a little inside joke, he figured the internet would get excited to decipher later on.

    Taking the actual photos wasn’t so bad either. They mostly asked him to look grumpy or glare or something. The bit of makeup an assistant had brushed onto his face had consisted mostly of dark eyeshadow to make his under eye circles more prominent. They had him pose at a number of spaces by the window for natural lighting, mostly leaning forward in awkward ‘casual’ poses. For the most part, Saeran hadn’t had to speak and mostly communicated with nods or shrugs.

    The best part of it was probably the snack table set up in the back. Saeran hadn’t been interested in breakfast, but after twenty or so minutes at the photo studio, he could feel himself getting short-tempered from hunger. He was very grateful to the assortment of fruits and dry snacks that they had set out.

    Some time after one thirty (he wasn’t really keeping track of the time), Saeran was perched in the fake brick of one of the window sets, leaning forward on one leg with the other dangling over the side and wearing a dark brown bomber jacket dropped over his arm, showing off his tattoo. He felt pretty ridiculous, but the director kept saying it looked good, until some sort of commotion started happening just around the corner from that set up room.

    “Try tilting your head down just a bit more.” He followed the director’s instruction. “Can you brush your hair just out of the way a bit, yep there we go, aaaand, look up underneath it, ok glare a little more- excellent!” there were several clicks of photos being taken.

    The commotion he’d detected was becoming clearer to his ears as a number of unfortunately familiar voices. He struggled to keep his face smooth for the photo but was probably scrunching it up in aggravation already while watching Saeyoung and Zen walk around the corner behind the camera.

    “We need to get a snack table like that for the practice studio!” Saeyoung was saying.

    “We’d have to hire a bunch of assistants like this to keep it stocked though.” Zen shook his head against the idea.

    “A bonus!” Saeyoung then glanced around, finally noticing the camera team and Saeran, pointedly ignoring their visitors. “Hey there he is!” He really, really hoped he didn’t look as pissed off as he was quickly becoming.

    The camera clicked again. “Now that’s a good expression! Maybe too good, though. Probably not front page material.” Damnit. The director hummed to himself, thinking. “Ok, onto the next outfit. Saeran, where do you stand on some gore makeup to make you look roughed up a bit?”

    Saeran shrugged and he nodded like it was agreement enough. “Ok, take ten to get changed and then the makeup team can do that.”

    He hopped off the fake window ledge and stalked past Saeyoung without acknowledging him or greeting either of the uninvited visitors.

    “Hey how come you got tattoo makeup! That’s awesome they never did that for us!” Zen followed close on his heels.

    “It’s not makeup.”

    “Y-What the hell? How long have you had a tattoo for?!”

    “Year and a half.” He shrugged, pulling the jacket up to cover it.

    “No wait! I didn’t see it all!”

    Walking faster with a grumble, Saeran pushed open the door to the clothes room, eager for quiet that was clearly not going to happen. Inside, Yoosung and Jaehee were inspecting the different outfits, chattering about the edgy style and creating a mess that Saeran had previously been careful not to make. He felt an oncoming headache.

    “Hey Saeran! Did they make you wear all of this jewelry at once? If not, how many pieces were what they had you put on for each outfit?” Jaehee perked up when he stepped in, reaching towards the pocket of the sweatpants he’d brought with him for one of the cigarettes he’d stashed away.

    “Three or four? I don’t really remember.” Saeran slipped one into the cuff of his sleeve without drawing attention and pocketed the lighter a moment later.

    “HA! I was right, you owe me dinner.” Yoosung grinned, jabbing a finger at Jaehee.

    “Laaame, what kind of lame goth doesn’t wear a painfully excessive amount of jewelry?” she set the heavy leather studded bracelet back on the table, in the wrong spot.

    “I don’t think they were going for a goth theme.” Saeran switched out of the bomber jacket and reached for his hoodie draped over a chair.

    “Cowards.”

    “Hey guys, did Saeran come in here- Hey! Saeran!” Zen pushed in the door behind him and Saeyoung’s voice was audible from down the hall for just a moment as well.

    “Zen, where’s the camera guy? I want to see what the pictures are looking like so far.” Yoosung set the torn flannel he’d been inspecting down, also in the wrong spot.

    “Just down to the right, I think Saeyoung also went to go bother him.”

    Yoosung hurried out and Saeran took a moment to pinch the space between his eyes against a headache.

    “Zen I’m going outside for a minute, if you want to come with, tell the photographer for me.”

    Zen perked up and ducked back out the door while Saeran left the changing room again. His headache wasn’t going away.

     


	11. i just had too much for one chapter: A Big day, part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's the second half of the rlly long chapter tht i didnt want to post at once. it's the big fan event thing they attend. Oh and more of the Boys™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heads up my lovely readers, trigger warning for a panic attack in this boyo. i marked when the first person account of said thing starts and ends with a: ༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ in case u want to skip it.

     The camera flashed, and Yoosung managed to steel himself from blinking again. The material screen behind the group shifted with Jaehee’s fidgeting while they waited in a group for the photographer to give them new instructions.

    The first photo they’d taken was for the cover of the magazine, it would be edited to have a shadow over where Saeran was and an exclamation mark inside of that and big letters telling which page would have the article about him on. It was apparently going to be printed in several magazines thanks to the large stirring having a new member had caused for their fans all over the world. They’d even gotten to briefly read some of the article.

    Yoosung happily gathered around the rest of the group while they reviewed over the photos. In most of them they were wearing matching outfits though each one had a sort of alteration that was supposed to differentiate them via some sort of subtle personality trait. Saeran’s tended to be torn or crumpled. In the last one he had a mask covering the lower half of his face. He had never really understood the appeal of masks like that outside of for medical purposes, but they were fashionable according to the photographer.

    Saeran was being incredibly patient with them throughout the shoot as well. One of the photos was him back-to-back with Saeyoung for a segment of the article that would be about them as twins. Yoosung could kind of tell he was itching to push his brother away during the duration of the photo, but had kept himself calm enough.

    Just before leaving the studio Mc had requested he keep an eye on Saeran and call her if something seemed wrong so he had an excuse to be watching him closer than usual.

    Or, probably not, because he really did look good in the different photos, Yoosung was having an increasingly harder time not finding him attractive.

    Either way, based on his posture and regular breaks to take deep breaths, Yoosung could gather that he was probably tired and stressed, but otherwise trying his best to keep himself together.

    The photoshoot finally concluded just after 4:30 and the group was almost immediately ushered into the cars by both V and Vanderwood to get to the interview meetup event. They managed to wear both them and Jumin down enough on the way to stop for food, and arrived at the event center about an hour before they were supposed to go on stage for the interview at seven.

    The backstage area hadn’t changed much since they had last been there, still looking somewhat unfinished with unpainted walls and wires and machinery that would translate to the speakers on stage, scattered around but mostly pushed out of the way for the many volunteer attendants to rush back and forth.

    The first time they’d been there was for one of their earliest performances in front of a live audience. Yoosung smiled with the memory and almost missed the instructions Vanderwood was reciting to them.

    “If asked about this being a publicity stunt, redirect it. We can’t have critics complaining about the choices made even more than they already are.”

    “But… _isn’t_ it a publicity stunt?” Saeyoung asked.

    “Yes, because that’s essentially your job, being public, but stating that makes you look like vultures for money and attention.”

    “Isn’t that what we are?” Zen grinned.

    “You’re not allowed to answer any question of the like.” Vanderwood jabbed a finger at him and he chuckled. “We’re already getting flack because this timed up exactly with the release of Blackpurple’s reality show about their members. Someone should probably mention that it was completely coincidental.” Their phone beeped at their hip and they shot the group one more glare before speed walking away, speaking to someone through their bluetooth.

    “I wonder if they’re eternally stressed thanks to us or if that’s how they are as a person.” Zen mused.

    “Both.” Jumin rolled his eyes. “It’s a combination of the two, and the effects of the former are permanent.”

    “Oh and you’d know from experience.”

    “Unfortunately.”

    Yoosung tuned out their banter, glancing around and lighting up when he recognized one of the volunteers. He waved an arm to get her attention, stepping aside from the group, then paused, remembering his promise to Mc. He instead waited for her to approach him instead.

    “Hey! I just looked out the door, it’s nearly a full house already!” The volunteer, Hana, said as she reached the group, catching Jaehee’s attention as well.

    “Hi Hana! What have you been up to?” Yoosung asked while the two women exchanged a hug.

    “Gaming mostly, LOLOL has been going nuts since you mentioned you were a top player.”

    He gave her a teasing look. “Thought you didn’t play that one? What was it you said? I’m more about the sci-fi space game-“

    “That was before LOLOL picked up tenfold and new challenges appeared!” She waved a hand to stop him. He chuckled at her attempting to ensure him that she was still loyal to the future based stories. r

    Noticing movement in his peripheral vision, he looked over at Saeran, who had shuffled a step or two away from the group. The group which was quickly just becoming Yoosung, Jaehee, and Hana, as the rest of them had gone to talk to other volunteers or find chairs to sit in while they waited.

    “Are you cold, Saeran?” Yoosung asked, noticing he had his arms wrapped around himself and moving them as if to warm himself up.

    “Huh?” he flinched like Yoosung had yelled or moved and halted the motions of his arms. “No-it’s… I’m fine.” He swallowed hard and his eyes went back to looking around the room, like he was waiting for the ceiling to open up and attack. He couldn’t see his mouth or nose from the mask, but he still looked petrified.

    Yoosung exchange brief eye contact with Jaehee, seeing his own concern mirrored there.

    “Do you want to go get a drink or something? I think there’s vending machines just outside in the hallway.” Jaehee offered.

    Saeran answered without looking at her, still trying to take in every detail of the room with his eyes darting around him too fast. “Yeah. Sure. I’ll do that.”

    Jaehee and Yoosung shared another look before she led Saeran to the door opposite the one they had initially come in through.

    “Is… he ok?” Yoosung had somewhat forgotten Hana was there, turning his attention back to her after she spoke.

    “Yeah. He’s fine, or… uh, I’m sure he will be by the time we’re called on stage.”

    Hana didn’t look remotely convinced, but nodded anyway and headed back to the sound control set that she was stationed at with another wave and smile.

    Yoosung considered what to do for a moment, before taking out his phone and sending a message to Mc.

    -‘hey, I think saeran is freaking out pretty hard bucs of the interview. What should I do to try and calm him down?’

    A minute or so later, she responded.

    -‘try and get him to chill somewhere quiet and tell him to breathe. If talking about it won’t stress him out more see if putting the situation into perspective will help. Hold his hand if he’ll let you. ’

    Yoosung wasn’t sure why the wink face was necessary. He put his phone away and slowly headed towards the door Jaehee and Saeran had taken, trying not to look too conspicuous and just avoiding Vanderwood’s eyes before ducking out. If too many people were seen going out this door more people might come looking for them.

    In his haste he nearly ran directly into Jaehee just out of the door.

    “Yoosung! Did Saeran come back this way?”

    “What do you mean?”

    “I mean one second we were by the vending machines then I turned around for a second and he was gone. I thought he went backstage but clearly not.” She checked the time on her phone, 40 minutes until they went on.

    “I’ll go find him, you’re better at lying so try and cover for me.”

    “Sure, we’ve got plenty of time before it starts but I’d rather not have both Jumin _and_ Vanderwood freaking out at us.” she passed him to return backstage while he pulled out his own phone to message Mc again.

    -‘Update: we kind of lost him.’

    -‘explain’

    -‘Saeran. he’s run off. Where do you think he went? I need to find him before our cue or our agent is going to lose their mind.’

    -‘oof yikes. Check the bathroom first, that’s where he sometimes goes to hide, or if there’s an area outside that he could sneak out to be alone try there.’

    -‘k thanks’

    -‘good luck and godspeed’

       

    Saeran wasn’t ok. He hadn’t been ok since they had arrived at the event center. Hadn’t _really_ been ok since he woke up that morning. This was all a huge mistake he shouldn’t have ever agreed to be in the stupid group.

    There were so many people backstage, running back and forth to fix up the stage and speakers and backdrop. He felt too warm, then too cold, then itchy in his own skin. If he could just get away from the constant activity for a moment maybe he might be alright. His eyes darted around the room, looking for an escape, or just too on edge to stop looking for _something_.

    The sounds around him were starting to dull.

    “Are you cold Saeran?” Yoosung’s voice temporarily snapped him back to the present.

    “Huh? No-it’s… I’m fine.” He was lying to everyone, including himself. The room felt so big, there was so much space; he was drowning in the air around himself.

    “Do you want to go get a drink or something? I think there’s vending machines just outside in the hallway.” Jaehee’s voice got his attention this time.

    Saeran looked at each corner of the room, where the shadows were darkest, wondering why the rest of the room felt like it was darkening too. “Yeah. Sure. I’ll do that.”

    Jaehee held out a hand to guide him, but thankfully not touching him, out of the room. She opened the door opposite the one they had first entered through, or maybe it was the same one, he really couldn’t tell.

    The carpeted hallway was quiet, save for the slight hum of a vending machine and water fountain. That was good. Quiet was good. Sunlight beamed in through the small exit door to the other side of him.

    While taking several deep breaths, Jaehee pressed a cool bottle into one of his hand. That was also good. Had Saeran been in a more stable state of mind he might have appreciated that she had gotten the same brand of lemonade he’d ordered at the restaurant earlier.

    It felt good to drown out noise and just stand there. Holding onto the bottle and letting it’s cool temperature sink into his hands also felt good. Grounding. When he felt like he could open it without spilling it, he pulled the mask off the lower part of his face to drink.

    Jaehee looked somewhat less worried about him and glanced around the hallway nonchalantly. He kind of wished she would talk or something, the quiet was good but something to distract him would have been better.

    Spying a double-door just beside the vending machines, Jaehee hummed curiously and pushed it open just enough to peek through.

    Saeran barely saw the people, barely heard the rumbling murmer of hundreds of voices at once, barely processed anything before his body reacted on autopilot.  

    ༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ

    He could hear his own heartbeat, too fast and too loud. His own breathing wasn’t right, echoing in his head like someone else was breathing into his ears. He couldn’t hear, everything was just so _loud._ His own footsteps sounded dull, like trying to hear through an echo. 

    He must have found the exit door or something, because for just a beat he could feel grass beneath his hands, kneeling down, then his hands went numb. He’d backed up into a corner, hands desperately clinging to his own shirt to try and feel _something_. Anything other than this suffocating numbness. He felt like he was trying to control a robot without nerves. He was shaking, all he could focus on was his heartbeat, too fast and too loud in his ears.

    Opening his eyes made it worse, the world blurred together and overlapped and darkened and brightened too fast. His heartbeat was so _loud_. His breathing felt like it was screaming.

    There was a sharp pain in his arm, a burning scratch left behind, but he couldn’t be sure if he reacted physically or if he just screamed. His entire body was melting down and he felt like a prisoner in his own head. He couldn’t _breathe_ , _he was dying._

    ༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ

    Saeran wasn’t ok.

     

    Yoosung nearly missed the exit sign above the door. Passing it at a speedwalk after checking the bathroom, he felt a slight warmth on one arm and glanced down at the sliver of sun that snuck through the cracked door. It hadn’t closed all the way due to a corner of the carpet being kicked up against it.

    Fixing it so the carpet would hold it open behind him even more (he couldn’t be sure that after closing the door wouldn’t lock behind him), he stepped out onto the walkway that ran along the side of the event center, a line of grass separating the concrete of the building with the pavement.

    Yoosung barely had a second to process the sound of breathing before he spotted Saeran crouched down against the wall between two bushes.

    “Saeran!” Yoosung swallowed the icy panic that rose in his throat and rushed over to where he was pressing himself against the wall, his arms wrapped around his shoulders and head buried in his knees. He was breathing way too hard, hyperventilating even.

    At his feet was the drink Jaehee must have gotten him and an empty cigarette box that looked to have been torn apart by shaking hands.

    “Saeran? Are you ok? What’s wrong?” Yoosung reached out to touch his arm but jumped back when Saeran violently recoiled away, even kicking up grass in an attempt to be further from him. He made a pained sound and dragged his nails over the arm desperately, like Yoosung had left a poisonous residue behind just by touching him.

    “Shit.” He sat down on the grass a few feet away, not sure what to do. Shit. What was he going to tell the others? Would he be able to go onstage? Obviously not like this, but this was definitely still an unfavorable outcome at the moment. Shit shit shit.

    Yoosung took a breath, can’t have two people having a panic attack here. Oh! He was having a panic attack. Is- Is that what it looks like? He’d never seen one before but supposed this was as close to what Saeyoung had once described to him.

    Saeran looked… awful. It was awful to see him in that state. His entire body was shaking and he’d wrapped his arms around himself in an iron grip. Yoosung felt his own chest tighten in pity. He’d known how nervous he had been, but for some reason had never thought it would get this bad. He wasn’t sure what to do. He couldn’t leave him there.

    Yoosung took another deep breath to calm himself down, and texted Mc.

    -‘I found him. He’s having a panic attack. How do I help?’

    Her response was immediate.

    -‘Beans. Well for starters don’t freak out yourself and don’t touch him’

    -‘Already figured both of those out’

    -‘There’s nothing you can really do to help him out faster, try talking to him, keep asking if he can hear you and when you get a sign of that keep telling him he’s safe and reassure him and stuff.’

    -‘you should’ve come along with us. You’d know how to handle this’

    -‘that sentimentality doesn’t do us any good in the current predicament’

    His phone beeped with a different text notification, this one from Jaehee.

    -‘Just got the 30 minute warning. Didja find him?’

    Yoosung glanced at Saeran’s unchanged state of being, and typed back:

    -‘Yeah, he’s like. Sick or something. I’ll keep you updated but idk if he’s gonna go on or not.’

    -‘shiiiit. Vanderwood will not be happy.’

    -‘yeah ik. Sorry. If you want me to tell them I can but I don’t want to leave Saeran.’

    -‘take care of him for now, but you should still try and come on stage.’

    -‘I will’

    He set his phone aside and refocused on the issue at hand. Mc said to be patient, so he would.

    “Saeran, can you hear me? You’re safe, you’re alright?” He didn’t even sound too reassuring to himself. Saeran hadn’t given any notion he even knew he was there, so at least his lying tone of voice wasn’t audible. “If you can hear me can you move your hand?” nothing. Saeran’s body stayed locked in a ball. Yoosung shifted to sitting in a more comfortable spot of grass and took another deep breath. Patience, just like Mc had said.

    After ten deep breaths he asked the two questions again. “You’re safe, nothing is going to hurt you. Can you hear me? If you can, move your hand?” Then repeated the process. Still nothing. He steeled himself against checking the time. Took twenty deep breaths this time before asking again. He sounded more confident and hopefully comforting each time.

    After about four more loops of that, there was a hitch in Saeran’s breathing. Looking up, the shaking seemed to be lessening and he sounded like he was manually slowing his breathing despite still wanting to not. Yoosung waited another few breaths before speaking.

    “Saeran? You with me?” his arms finally loosened enough for Saeran to shake his head. At least he could hear him now. “Ok, that’s ok, take your time.”

    Yoosung still refused to check the time on his phone while he waited for the shaking to gradually slow enough to be distinguished from just his shoulders hitching with his breath. His breaths was shaky, but no longer hyperventilating.

    Finally Saeran peeled his arms off of his head and wiped at his face with a sleeve, avoiding looking at Yoosung, who took the opportunity to not stare so much and finally looked down at his phone. Jaehee hadn’t gotten chewed out as bad as she was afraid but they were scouring the place for the missing band members. Mc asked for an update that he helpfully supplied. They still had ten minutes before their cue.

    Yoosung closed the messenger on his phone and traded that for the abandoned bottle beside him, offering it to Saeran.

    “Hey uh… you good?” Yoosung asked, uncertain, though he did accept the drink. Saeran shrugged, not looking at him directly and taking a sip. His hands were still shaking a bit. Still sitting with his knees to his chest and resting his head on one arm, he looked tiny and fragile.

    Yoosung decided against talking, just waiting for Saeran to finish. His eyes were red and puffy, he looked paler than usual, and his hair was starting to curl again thanks to the layer of sweat on his forehead. He supposed if they stuck to the ruse that he’d gotten sick that nobody would question it. Mc did tell them that he got sick pretty easily. Yoosung had never really thought about it before, but his ankles and wrists were really thin. The baggier clothes he stuck to tended to hide how scrawny he actually was. In his current state, a stiff breeze looked like it would blow him away.

    “How long have you been waiting there?” Saeran’s voice snapped him out of staring. He still wasn’t looking at him. He looked and sounded exhausted, his voice barely a scratch of its usual self.  

    “Not sure, twenty minutes? Maybe fifteen?” Yoosung heard the muffled sounds of the host from inside the center, greeting the audience and likely stalling for a few extra minutes. The crowd screaming followed suit.

    Saeran groaned and buried his face in his arms again. “God, this sucks.”

    “How so?”

    “I came all this way, kept it together _all day_ , I was doing _so well_ \- just to completely lose it. It’s… infuriating.”

    “Even getting to this point is really admirable, y’know.”

    “If you’re just gonna sit there and patronize me, leave.”

    “I’m not, I’m- we’re all really proud of you for toughing it out today. I know lots of new stuff is… stressful, and we probably shouldn’t have scheduled both events for the same day, but you’ve handled it better than someone else might have, and better than I think Mc was expecting. Don’t blame yourself, nobody’s going to be upset.” Yoosung offered a hand that he stared at with a mix of confusion and distrust. “You don’t have to go out on stage, I told Jaehee you got sick. I’m sure the audience will understand.”

    Saeran looked briefly up from his hand to his face, before pulling one arm off of his knees to hold it.

    …Yoosung had 100% thought Mc had been kidding about the handholding thing. Ha. He looked away and really hoped he didn’t look too flustered. Now wasn’t the time to overanalyze how nice it felt that he was trusting him enough for that small comfort.

    “I came all this way, though. I’ll still feel like I failed.”

    “But you didn’t.” from inside the center, the screaming started back up. Yoosung assumed the band had finally gone on without them. His phone buzzed and he glanced briefly at the pissed off warning from Jumin that he had better get his ass on stage immediately.

    “I’ll be disappointing a lot of people. Everyone in there came all this way, too.”

    “They’ll understand.”

    “I wouldn’t. For all they know I just bailed. Isn’t that what I’m trying to do?”

    “Hey.” Yoosung gently squeezed his hand to get Saeran to look at him. “Don’t let that force you to do something you don’t want to. I’d rather you disappoint a few people than go on stage and melt down again.”

    “It’s not that I don’t want to, I just… I don’t know how I’m gonna talk. I could barely talk to the photographers today. It took me weeks to talk to you guys.” He tugged on his hair with his other hand, half hiding his face again.

    Yoosung hummed to himself for a moment. “I mean… who said you had to talk?” Saeran gave him another confused look with the one eye that wasn’t covered. “You’re sick remember? Sore voice, but you still want to be there with us. We can answer questions for you but you can still get pictures with fans- if you’re ok with that, that is.” Yoosung hoped his hand wasn’t getting sweaty. “If you really want to go up there, but don’t want to talk, that’s… a possible outcome.”

    Saeran looked down at the ground, eyebrows furrowed, then up at where their hands were connected, then off to the side while pulling his hair. After a long beat where the crowd inside screamed again, he pulled out his own phone, checking the time and flinching.

    “We’re late already.”

    “It’s fine, we’re only like, ten minutes late. We’ve been later to stuff for much less noble reasons.” Yoosung smiled.

    Saeran sighed heavily and put his phone away. “Ok. Let’s go then.” He let Yoosung help him to his feet, not letting his hand go.

    “Oh! Before we go in,” Yoosung pulled a slightly crumpled pink envelope out of his pocket. “I picked this up earlier, sorry it got smashed, but uh, it might help.”

    Saeran looked at it in confusion, then his eyes widened in recognition as the first letter he’d opened that morning. The letter thing felt like days ago.

    “Our first show I got kinda nervous, so I held onto some of our first fanmail too. I dunno-it was just a reminder that they liked me I guess.” Yoosung said, maybe looking embarrassed, but he had a feeling Saeran wasn’t really too great at distinguishing facial expressions.

    He took the letter and tucked it in his pocket. “Thank you.” He pushed the door open himself, bracing himself for the staff that rushed them as soon as they would get backstage.

     

     

    Mc sat at her computer, anxiously bouncing her leg and fidgeting with one of the many abandoned little fidget toys Saeran refused to use regularly. This one was like a rudik’s cube but without colors. In her lap was a mostly forgotten bowl of popcorn.

    The band’s interview had started ten minutes ago, missing two of its members. The audience was clearly disappointed and it seemed like even the ones that showed up in time didn’t know where Yoosung and Saeran had gone off to. When asked they all just insisted they’d be there any minute.

    The host had to shift several papers to not ask questions about Saeran while he wasn’t there. The group was clearly uncertain about what they were saying, safely just telling details of the tour in six weeks.

    Then there was a shifting of the backdrop behind them, before the door behind it opened and Yoosung walked out, looking understandably embarrassed.

    “Hey guys! Sorry I’m late! Got lost! This place sure is complicated.” The crowd shrieked in delight as he stepped out, pulling Saeran onstage by his hand. “Also look who I found!” the audience erupted in cheers and shouts. Mc sat up in her seat so fast she spilled popcorn into her lap but didn’t care. He actually went on stage?! Oh fuck!

    She maximized the livestream video and squinted at his face, trying to gauge what state he was in. He had that mask thing back over the lower half of his face but she could kind of make out the redness around his eyes. From far away it looked like just regular ‘ol dark circles, so nothing new. There was also a spot in his ears that she figured might be earplugs, to help with the noise. She wanted to rush to text him immediately, congratulate him or something, but her eyes were glued to the screen. She probably had the dumbest, happiest smile on her face.

    “Where the heck have you guys been?!” Zen waved them over to the far side of the table where their seats were.

    “Well I got lost. And he got sick. We’re here now, though. If I hadn’t gotten lost I wouldn’t have found him. Think about it, would you rather us both be late, or only one of us show?” Yoosung took his seat with a grin.

    “Do we get to choose which one of you shows?” Zen grinned, then grumbled when Jaehee shoved his shoulder.

    “You ok, Unknown?” the host asked. Saeran shrugged and made a gesture at his neck.

    “He can’t speak, throat’s dead. Gotta rest it.” Yoosung translated. Mc grinned, catching onto their horseshit. She wondered which of them came up with that solution, it was pretty clever.

    “Oh, that’s unfortunate. We had a good few questions for him.”

    “You can still ask them! We can help answer!” Yoosung assured him.

    “Well, alright!” she arranged her papers back to how they had been at the start, “We went on several social media platforms this morning and asked for some questions for you guys, most of which were about the new member. Seems you guys made quite the spash with this surprise.”

    “Yeah, we’re pretty good at that.” Zen sat back in his seat.

    “First one is, who is the older brother of the two, 707 or Unknown?” the host continued, though smiling.

    “We have absolutely no idea!” Saeyoung answered quickly, grinning. “Our mom never told us. Pretty sure she forgot herself.” The audience laughed at his inappropriate delight.

    “So you guys are twins, then? Are you identical?”

    He snickered. “Yeah, or we used to be. Now we look like a before and after picture for one of those commercialized diets.” Mc giggled with the rest of the crowd in the video. “Or one of those work out tools! Bro, flex with me so they can compare us!”

    Saeran gave him a worn out look and shook his head. The host pouted, but laughed at Saeyoung’s antics anyway.

     

     

     

    The lights were bright in Saeran’s eyes and he couldn’t see the crowd. Well, at least not clearly. If he didn’t try too hard to make out faces in it, then they didn’t exist. His heartbeat was kinda fast but he couldn’t hear it this time at least. The earplugs a volunteer had found for him were also incredibly helpful, blocking out most of the audience’s screaming.

    Just before going onstage they had tried to give him a microphone too, but Yoosung had helpfully waved it away. Not answering questions was a lot easier than he’d thought.  

    “The next question that got asked a lot online and _wasn’t_ ‘are you single’ waaas,” The interviewer flipped her paper, “do you play any instruments?”

    He leaned over and mumbled into Yoosung’s ear.

    “Piano/keyboard and drums!”

    At the same time that Saeyoung said “You play the drums?” both Jaehee and Zen spun on him to say, “You play the keyboard?!”

    Saeran just rolled his eyes. The host laughed with the audience.

    “No no, wait why did you never mention this to any of us?” Zen insisted. He shrugged uncomfortably. It wasn’t like they had ever asked.

    “I get the feeling that even if he could talk, he wouldn’t be saying much more than this anyway.” Jaehee muttered. “Just judging from how little we currently know about him.”

    “Unknown, are you not much of a talker?” the host was pretty friendly he supposed. Saeran just shrugged instead of giving a better answer, which seemed to be answer enough itself. She laughed again. “How’s about a question for the rest of the table then, what’s changed with your dynamic now that you’re six and how do you all feel about it?”

    Jumin spoke up first, running over Zen, who looked to have opened his mouth to also answer. “A few routines for the stage have had to be reworked to fit the even number, any songs written before this change will likely stay the same, seeing as we likely won’t perform those live too often anyway. On the off chance that we do, Unknown will likely stick to backup for them.”

    “I’m not opposed to splitting up some solos for him to participate.” Zen fought off a smile at seeing Jumin twitch at being publically undermined.

    “Well, if that’s what our audiences is vying for, some of them might be re-released. We will see.” There was a few extra cheers at the idea.

    “Anything other than the technicals of music production that’s changed?” the host prompted.

    “He steals my favorite seat in the studio.” Yoosung supplied, snickering. Saeran glared, slightly wanting to defend himself and say that his name wasn’t on the seat or anything.

    “He’s been helping with our choreography for a few months already, so it’s not like much has changed as far as him just being around.” Jaehee added.

    “And yet! He has filled a void we didn’t even know existed! We couldn’t be our group without him now that he’s here!” Saeyoung said dramatically, and even though the crowd cheered, most of those at the table with him rolled their eyes.

    “Did you guys decide on his aesthetic difference to fit what you hadn’t previously filled with your group?” the host asked, clearly trying to avoid asking who made the choice for him to be the ‘bad boy’

    “Oh no, what you’re seeing and witnessing is 100%, pure, unedited, genuine edgelord. He was like that when we met him, and he’s like that now.” Zen said.

    “One could say it was just luck that he stands out on his own.” Jumin nodded. The crowd clearly loved seeing those two agree.

    “Next question got sent by the same person like fourteen times an hour so we had to ask it just so that effort wasn’t wasted.” The host flipped her paper over again. “Jaehee, why do you keep your hair short and would you consider growing it?”

    Grateful that the attention was off himself for a moment, Saeran relaxed back into his seat.

    “I keep it short because it helps me blend with the rest of the group. We all have something that definitely sets us apart from each other, but I never wanted mine to be ‘girl’ y’know? If my hair was longer and I performed a higher level of femininity like plenty of girls in bands tend to do, then I wouldn’t fit in with the rest of the group the same way. I have nothing against other girls in bands, but that style is just not for me. I’m Jaehee, not, ‘the girl member of RFA’.”

    The rest of the table stared at her for a beat while the crowd applauded.

    “That was a much for articulated answer than I was expecting.” Jumin finally said what they were thinking.

    “I get asked that question online daily.” Jaehee muttered.

    The next question was for Zen about some of the older works of his he had mentioned online that included several musicals and some solo stuff. He talked for a bit about how that was how V had initially recruited him.

    Saeran tuned most of the questions out, shrugging his input when needed. It wasn’t… so bad. Every time he was put on the spot he felt too warm and like each move he made would shatter his entire body, but that would pass and the host would move onto a different topic of discussion.

    He had long ago forgotten that Yoosung’s hand was still locked with his own, nor did he notice how often he squeezed it when spoken to, or ran his thumb over Yoosung’s when sitting idle. It was grounding, relaxing even. As long and exhausting as the day had been, Saeran was proud of himself. In his pocket, the letter from the morning reminded him that he was a part of a group now and… it really didn’t feel as weird as before.


	12. Putting on the Moves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> new routine, this time with a pretty challenging theme, oh and mc is pretty gay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's kind of filler i wont lie, like stuff still happens but its in between another thing i wanted to write ^^' bear with me the next one wont be long.

   The song ended and immediately all six of the dancers visibly sunk in exhaustion simultaneously. From where he was half-crouched, Saeyoung simply sat down on the ground, allowing his legs to splay out before him while he tried to catch his breath while Zen rested one arm on Yoosung’s back as he had leaned forward on his knees. Jaehee hadn’t been this exhausted by one of their practices since the first week Mc was hired and was pushing them extra to prove herself as their choreographer.

    Mc stared at the winded group with visible exasperation in her eyes. Her displeasure, though obvious, took several seconds of the band recovering from the practice before they noticed how unimpressed she was expressing herself.

    “Ok, what did we do wrong that time?” Zen finally asked for the group.

    Mc rubbed her chin in a cartoonish gesture to show she was thinking. “Hmm, let’s see… You’ve got the base motions down, but you’re out of time, Jumin, Jaehee, and Yoosung can’t move the extra shifts of their hips without missing the next step, Saeyoung keeps grinning and that’s killing the mood, Yoosung looks too focused and not sensual enough, hmm, so does Jaehee…” she squinted at each of them in turn. “Saeran you’re still a few inches away from the group, ya gotta get closer for this one. Saeyoung, Zen, stop making him feel weird about that. And overall you all just feel too stiff still.”

    They nodded and prepared themselves to run the routine again.

    “But, we’ve been running this for almost two hours now, we can take a break for a snack or something.” the relieved sigh that the six let out broke Mc’s strict teacher guise and she smiled. “After that I can work with each of you individually to fix the kinks- pun intended.” she winked and dismissed them with a wave. Jaehee fought off a smile.

    “Finally, we’ve got time to breathe!” Saeyoung collapsed against the wall and tore through his waiting backpack like his life depended on the bag of chips and soda it contained.

    “It could be worse. We could still have to finish the songs for the new album.” She said, sitting cross-legged a few feet away and sipping from her water bottle.

    Zen shuddered. “Don’t make me imagine such a horrible image, Jaehee. I’m exhausted as is.” he and Yoosung joined the two on the floor, creating a semicircle of sorts.

    “You are aware that the next album will be all new songs. A few lucky pieces of Saeran’s won’t be able to give you a crutch next time.” Jumin, though not sitting with the others, still seemed unspokenly included in their conversation.

    Saeran, too seemed to hover near enough to participate. “I’ve got… other stuff written. Like, stuff other than the tablescrap themes you still needed.”

    “Oooh! Wheh c’n w’ read ‘em?” Saeyoung perked up, mouth full of potato chips.

    Weather his twin cringed at the possibility of showing his songs or just how gross it was that he had spoken with his mouth so full wasn’t clear.

    “Jumin, you too, don’t make me imagine terrible stuff.” Zen tossed the empty plastic bag he’d just pulled an apple from at him. “We just finished this album, we’ve got like… a long time before we have to do the next one. Let us relax. Learn from Mc.”

    “I wouldn’t get too comfortable, I’m working with you first.” Mc slid on her socks into a rather smooth seated position on the floor beside Jaehee, who smiled at her addition.  

    “You are a cruel woman.”

    “Hey, take it as a compliment. You’ve got the sex appeal shit almost perfect already. I’ll probably need your help to coach the rest of these prudes.” she gestured at them, then grinned sheepishly. “Ah, no offense.”

    “A lot taken, but we love you, so it’s ok.” Saeyoung wiped his greasy hands off on his pants before unscrewing the bottle of his Ph.D Pepper.

    Saeran squinted at him from where he still stood. “I’ve never once seen you drink anything but sodas. How the fuck do you still have kidneys?”

    “Hey Zen! Did you bring the chart today?!” completely ignoring him, or just avoiding the question entirely, Saeyoung turned to Zen.

    “Oh! You want to do the reassignments now?”

    “No time like the present!”

    “Alright!” Zen pushed himself back to his feet to go retrieve his own bag against the opposite wall, pulling a rolled up poster out and allowing Saeyoung to unroll it in the center of their circle for everyone to see.

    “Ladies and Gentlefolks, it is officially time for the ship war reassignments!” He announced. Jaehee perked up and leaned forward to see the entire ship group polls.

    The poster had a lot of ‘data’ on it, one side dedicated to every combination of ships in their band and what their respective ratings were on fanfiction sites, what percent got voted for in the last poll, and the decided ship name (color coded so it was clear as to which combination of what two members were the components). The other side had a tournament style board drawn for them to write up the pairs for the war and a large banner boasting Yoosung and Saeyoung’s bragging rights since the last one ended last weekend.

    “This is the start of a special new edition of Ship War, seeing as Mc, and Saeran are now included!” Saeyoung said, uncapping a marker. “As per the usual rules, those that won the last round each have a choice of first choosing their next partner, or someone else’s. Pick between an advantage or a sabotage. Once we’ve done that, the rest of the group can pair off! Let’s begin!”

    Jaehee met Mc’s delighted eyes. Even though she and Zen had just barely lost, she wasn’t too upset (anymore. That duet took effort to make, ok?) and was as excited for the new round as she always got.

    “You’ve got an odd number of participants, so may I be excused?” Saeran looked as pleased by the game as he did with just about anything that wasn’t dancing.

    “Nope! We won’t know who’s without a partner until we’ve finished picking! You’re our pretty new emo and with the miniscule amount of information our fans have about you, all of your ships are currently dominating the polls.” Saeyoung pointed to the ship names that featured pink in one half of the combination names.

    “Doesn’t that mean anyone who has me as a partner has an unfair advantage?”

    “Shut up and participate.”

    Saeran made a gagging sound, but resigned himself to stop protesting.

    “Since Yoosung and I were victorious last round, we choose first. Yoosung, may I start?”

    “Go ahead.” Yoosung waved an encouraging hand.

    “Mc, would you do me the honor of partnering with moi for this ship war?” Saeyoung extended a hand to her across the poster.

    “Aww, I wanted to partner with Jaehee, though.” Mc whined childishly, throwing an arm around the other woman. “Pick someone else, please? I don’t wanna be straight my first ship war.” Jaehee fought off a giggle, her cheeks warming.

    “Oh, alright. But you were the only choice I had in mind. And Saeran would never consent-”

    “I would sooner die.”

    “Exactly. Alright, Yoosung go ahead. I’ll decide after you.”

    Jaehee shifted her legs to better lean into Mc’s arm. She was shorter than her, even sitting down, so their little cuddle was still a bit awkward, but still nice. Jaehee wondered briefly why she’d been missing out on casual affection of this frequency for so long. It was nice, and Mc seemed so eager to offer it.

    “Well. Here’s the thing.” Yoosung leaned forward to look down at the poster. “Saeran and Zen are top ship right now, perfectly tied with Saeran and me.” He tapped his chin. “So there’s no way I’m letting Zen get such a boost right out of the gate. Also,” He matched Zen’s glare with a smirk, “You two,” he looked between Zen and Saeyoung, “have always been the top two competitors. This has always been your game.” Yoosung sat back proudly. “I think it’s time I knock you both down a peg. What d’you say, Saeran?”

    The group, (minus Jumin, who had walked away when nobody was paying attention), collectively looked up at Saeran. He kind of curled his shoulders inward at being put on the spot, and shrugged indifference before their quiet could last too long.

    “Those are some strong fighting words, Yoosung.” Zen squinted. “You seem very confident for someone who’s only been an accessory in this game thus far.”

    “I’ve been biding my time, researching both of your methods and strategies. A fly on the wall. Right now we’re miles ahead of any other ship. You’ll never catch up.”

    Saeyoung met Zen’s eyes, slowly, before speaking. “Have it your way, traitor. Zen, I believe our alliance is called forth once again, a mutual enemy must fall if there will ever be balance in the ship wars again.”

    “I agree. It’s time for a reprise of Seven-oh-Zen.”

    Jaehee exchanged a devious smile with Mc.

    “I believe the boys are forgetting one very visible couple, here.” Mc leaned further into Jaehee. Ah, well, if she wasn’t blushing before, her soft body pressing against her own would have changed that. Mc was very… curvy.

    Jaehee quickly caught on and played along. “Yeah. Jame-Cee is the first girl-on-girl ship that’s ever gained traction in our group, so I’m not sure how or why they ever thought there was competition.” the two were talking loud enough to interrupt their trash talk, but as if they were simply speaking to each other.

    “Especially considering how many of your fans are girls themselves.”

    “It’s tragic really.”

    “You two are fools if you think the fans will abandon their precious ‘hawt yaoieez’ for your girly slop!” Saeyoung growled, leaning over and half into Zen’s lap for emphasis.

    “If I ever hear that phrase uttered again in real life I’m quitting the band.” Saeran glared his brother down from where he still stood.

    “Are you blind to the words: ‘Unsung, number one ship’?” Yoosung tapped the poster.

    “All you losers have is big talk and novelty. Once the hype over Saeran wears down you’ll fall far, far behind.” Mc replied haughtily.

    “Big talk and novelty, yes, but don’t forget aesthetic differences that fans lose their minds over.” He sneered. “We’re a prime example of pastel and punk. Fanfiction come to life!”

    “Zen, he’s right, we need a great strategy to combat this.” Saeyoung sounded genuinely concerned, and Jaehee muffled her laughter behind one hand.

    “Ok, but to say Mc and I don’t have a trope-like dynamic? You are blind fools to the true mastery that is femme and soft butch.”

    “Oh, dearest followers, won’t you look at my newest manicure? My good friend Jaehee helped me with it, a shame it chips away so fast.” Mc pretended to sigh sadly.

    “Hey followers, hashtag Girl’s Night!” Jaehee peace signed beside her cheek and Mc copied her with a demonic smile.

    The three warring pairs stared each other down, (minus Saeran, who was sipping his water bottle, patiently waiting for them to finish this bout of insanity so they could continue rehearsal) each waiting for the other to give away something else about their strategy for the ship war. Perhaps Jaehee and Mc had gotten carried away with their shit talk, but she couldn’t be bothered to care since they were still pressed together like real lovers. Saeyoung, no doubt, had been mentally cataloguing every word they had said, formulating ways to counter and undermine their plans. Thinking back while still exchanging menacing looks, Jaehee wasn’t entirely sure what actions Yoosung had in mind for his team, just that he planned to play into anime tropes to pull heartstrings. She did remember the tactics Zen and Saeyoung had used the last time they’d teamed up, desperate to not lose to V and Jumin. She’d have to write their most memorable goofs down to prepare Mc for whatever they tried this time.

    After another solid minute of intense eye contact, Mc finally broke the silence, “Well, that was a pleasant break, but I’m not being paid to play games with you all.” she sat away from Jaehee, before pushing herself to her feet. “Zen, you get solo coaching first.” he snorted at the way she waggled her eyebrows suggestively, “if you want to make the rest of them leave, that’s fine, or if you’d rather embrace your inner exebitionist, be my guest.”

    Zen hopped up too, rolling his shoulders in anticipation. “Anyone who wants to see is welcome to the private show.”

    Mc grinned. “Ayye, nice one.”

    “We’re going to be doing the whole routine together eventually anyway, so it makes no difference to me.”

    Jaehee rolled her eyes and stood up too, offering a hand to Yoosung and Saeyoung separately before taking her leave to the lounge. They had more snacks there and the floor really didn’t make for a comfortable resting spot. She didn’t notice the little rose in her back pocket until she sat down. It was lovely; had someone snuck it into her possession when she wasn’t looking? Seemed like something Zen would do.

  
  
  


    Mc took mental note of Saeyoung and Saeran, both of whom hadn’t left with Yoosung, Jaehee, and Jumin, and decided they would be enough of an audience to encourage Zen.

    “Alright, handsome, I’ll count you off, start with the second position change-” she winked, “-and have you run from there until I stop you.” she started the music and Zen stepped into the stance while waiting for the music’s cue to start.

    He moved the step sequence excellently, rolling his hips exactly the way he needed to in perfect figure-eights. Mc nodded, a plan forming in her mind, before stopping the music eight beats later.

    “Ok, here’s my vision. When you get here,” she held both arms in front of her face, palms out and wrists crossed, the arm gesture that led into the chorus, “the second time… only lower one arm, with the second... take out your ponytail.”

    Zen stared at her like she’d just revealed the secrets of the universe to him, “Holy shit, we hired the smartest fucking woman in the world.” Yeah, they had, and Mc’s smile confirmed that she was well aware.

    Sure enough, when he ran the steps again, lowering only one hand while the other tugged out the rubber band, his entire persona changed. Where the head and shoulder motions before made him look sexy, he now looked ethereal, silver locks of hair framing and hiding just enough of his face. Saeyoung squealed and pretended to faint against the wall. Mc also took notice of how impressed Saeran looked before blushing and leaving the room.

    She was good, but Zen was the easy part.

  
  


    Jumin… what to do to help Jumin out…

    Mc chewed her cheek while pacing around him in a slow circle, like a tiger stalking its prey. He waited patiently for her to speak, fidgeting occasionally under her scrutinizing glare. His biggest issue was an inability to move his hips correctly. He wasn’t matching the other members’ motions and held them back from looking put-together.

    She stopped in front of him, considering her words before speaking.

    “Ok, so, you like cats, yes?”

    “Yes.” he answered like he was talking to an idiot.

    “Hmm... Alright, answer me this, why do cats always land on their feet?”

    Jumin looked increasingly irritated by such a foolish question. It would make sense in due time, though. “Their tails instinctively can twist and find which way is down and their spines extend and curl inward to flip their bodies towards the ground.”

    “Right, they have flexible spines. Probably also why they’re such graceful creatures, no?”

    He faltered, “I… well I suppose.”

    She chose her words very carefully, hoping her vision could be articulated. “Do you think, if a cat were to perform these steps, it could keep it’s spine moving and shifting the way it’s supposed to?”

    “I… I believe a cat could do the routine better than any human, if it knew how.” Jumin’s eyes lit up in understanding.

    Oh, he was hooked on the idea. Mc grinned. “Nobody else in the group has a cat to reference, but I’ll bet if you dipped a bit into this idea, you’d blow everyone out of the water.” he nodded, determination taking over his features.  

    “Start the music again.”

    Mc fought off a squeal of delight. Two down. Four to go.

  
  


    “Uh…” Yoosung didn’t seem to understand what she meant yet.

    “You know, your bedroom eyes. Show us your sex face!” Mc made a picture frame with her thumbs and forefingers around his still definitely-not-sex-facey face.

    “I don’t… have one?”

    She groaned and dropped her hands. “Everyone’s got one. When you’re trying to seduce someone, or getting seduced yourself, what’s the face you make?”

    “Even if I could imagine what you’re talking about, I don’t think I can make it on command.” at least she was getting him to blush, finally. Perhaps Mc was just weird, but getting to see at least one member of the band visibly squirming over her enthusiasm for their theme was probably the most fun she’d had with this job.

    “Come on, dude, you’ve got your truth-telling hips mastered, now you need your smoulder.” they’d been practicing solo together for nearly half an hour. He finally had managed to understand the hip turns and steps were meant to be one motion together, but still broke the spell with a confused and focused facial expression. The last run through he’d been told to just keep his face slack throughout it, but had ended up looking like a robot.

    “I don’t know what you want me to do here.”

    “Hmm, ok. Try copying my facial expressions and I’ll tell you when we hit something solid.”

    Yoosung took a deep breath before nodding.

    First Mc pouted her lips and narrowed her eyes, looked fake on him, though. She licked her lips and half smiled while turning her head slightly aside. Yoosung just scrunched his face in confusion. Ok maybe that one was too complicated. She bit one lip and let the corners of her eyes tilt up in amusement. Again, he failed to replicate it believably. She stepped away with a sigh.

    “Ok, I’m not getting anywhere with this.”

    “Your face looks good but trying to do the same thing just feels… awkward.” Yoosung whined. She really didn’t have time for him to be distraught right now.

    “Ok, I need to move onto my next victim, ah- student. Your homework for tonight is to find ya’self some damn bedroom eyes!” Mc waved a hand to dismiss him. “You can stay and keep watching, but first go get Saeyoung and Zen for me.”

    “We’re here!” the door opened. “We were eavesdropping the whole time. Yoosung, feel free to consult the master of visual allure for assistance with your homework!” Saeyoung vogue’d with a scrunched up pout.

    “You’re here because you can’t keep a straight face at all, asshole.” Mc folded her arms.

    “He’s not the only one struggling to be straight.” Zen muttered as he passed her, earning a harsh jab in the side. Luckily, he hadn’t spoken loud enough for anyone else to hear.

    “Hey! My sex face is totally a smile!” Saeyoung insisted.  

    “As much as I unfortunately believe that, I refuse to allow you to kill the mood your bandmates are setting. Get into position for the second verse.” Mc started the music again, glaring at his face, but still stopped it seconds after he started the dance. The confident grin sunk off his cheeks in shame.

    She took a deep breath, pinching her nose while considering what to do. Come on, Mc. She was smart and awesome, there’s got to be some way to hold off a stupid-ass smile…

    “Maybe if we taped his cheeks down?” Zen offered unhelpfully.

    “Give him awkward face exercises, too.” Yoosung suggested.

    “It’s not that he doesn’t have a solid smoulder, it’s that he can’t keep it on his face…” She needed to do something with what he did instinctively, but what to do… “Oh! I’ve got it! Saeyoung! Bite your lip when you start to smile!” God damn, she was good.

    Saeyoung tested the motion, capturing his bottom lip between his teeth, then nodded. “Ok, play the music.”

    Immediate improvement. Mc could see the moment he started to smile, but the added bite kept the corners down enough that he just looked… well, like he was trying to seduce them. Mc should ask for a raise.

    “Aw, no fair, your fix was way easier.” Yoosung pouted against the wall.

    “Mc, you are a genius.” Zen said while she stopped the music.

    “I know. Saeyoung go get Jaehee for me, Zen go get Saeran. I’m on a roll!” Saeyoung saluted her and hurried off.

    “What about me?” Yoosung asked.

    “I’ll need yours and Jaehee’s help with Saeran, next.”

    “How so?”

    “He keeps scooting away during the closer and touchier moments. I don’t even think he’s doing it on purpose, it’s just habit or instinct or something. Anyway I’m gonna have him practice the moments when he’s on the end of the formations, but between you and Jaehee so he’s got no choice but to stay in fucking place.”

    He laughed. “Yeah ok, makes sense.”

  
  


    An hour later, they finally got a solid run without Saeran shuffling out of position or getting distracted. Mc had everyone else go first, just to build up her plan in her head. But now all that was left was Jaehee.

    And damn if she hadn’t been testing Mc’s will all day. When she came in to help with Saeran she had the flower Mc’d snuck into her pocket tucked into her hair. Mc had physically felt an arrow to her chest in affection. Oh, how cruel the universe truly was.

    She couldn’t think about that now, as the flower had been set aside with her glasses. Saeran and Yoosung got kicked out with a reminder to practice his smoulder and it was just the two women left.

    Mc took a deep breath to calm her nerves and tossed her hair over one shoulder.

    “Ok, Jaehee. You’re the last one for the solo-coaching, so we’ve got no time limit.”

    “Well, we kinda do. I’d like to go to bed at some point.” only if you’ll let her accompany- Fuck. Mc forced her gay brain to shut up for one second. In due time, gay brain, in due time.

    “Well yes, but I mean don’t feel pressured or rushed.”

    Jaehee giggled and nodded.

    “I’ve been enacting different methods today to get everyone on point with the hip motions, some stranger than others, but first I want to see if you’ve picked up anything new so far.” she started the music and let Jaehee slip into her starting stance.

    As expected, she had the speed and steps and arm motions perfectly in time. She’d even taken notes and had steeled her facial expression into something very distracting. Mc forced herself to evaluate the twist of her hips and shifting of her weight. She stopped the music halfway through.

    “What’s the verdict?” Jaehee asked, standing back up from where she’d stopped crouched forward.

    “Well you should definitely leave off your glasses for this one, just by virtue of seeing your eyes better.” she nodded. “But you’re still not… exaggerating your movement enough. It’s got to be more dramatic.”

    Jaehee hummed. “So… what have you got in mind for that?”

    Mc chewed her lip, praying her plan would work out for both causes she had in mind. Setting the music to a different song, a separate playlist entirely, she approached Jaehee nonchalantly.

    “If this is… overstepping any boundaries, just let me know.” she held both hands out, for permission.

    “I trust you.” Jaehee held hers without hesitation. Hm. So people weren’t exaggerating when they talked about butterflies in one’s stomach, except it was more in Mc’s chest area, but definitely felt throughout her arms. Ah, maybe it was less butterflies and more nerves.

    She nodded, then guided Jaehee’s hands down onto her own hips. Judging by how her warm smile faltered in surprise, then understanding, she seemed to catch onto Mc’s idea.

    “Ok, follow my motions, and move with me.” she stepped out, and Jaehee followed. It took a moment of watching and feeling, but she began to shift her own hips in the same figure eights.

    Mc looked down from her eyes to rest her hands on Jaehee’s shoulders, coaxing her to copy the corresponding shoulder rolls. It took several loops of the same few motions, slow and romantic, before Jaehee caught up, carrying the dance with her whole body as directed.

    They mirrored each other for several counts before Mc looked back up. Jaehee wasn’t watching her face, but instead her feet. As cute as her calculating and focused face was to Mc, she needed to stop thinking so much.

    “Loosen up,” her eyes snapped up to meet Mc’s. “Keep yourself relaxed and follow me.” she led them into a new pattern that was really just a slowed down version of the group dances’ movements.

    Mc considered her next move, wondering briefly if it would be too much, before bracing herself and proceeding. She let go of Jaehee’s shoulders to hold her hands in place while Mc turned around. With Jaehee pressed against her back, she wouldn’t have to think to reverse the direction of her steps. Settling Jaehee’s hands back on her hips, she continued to guide her, hoping that the sharp intake of breath was a good sign.

    Their hips closer together, she finally matched Mc’s dance, shifting her entire weight and using the full range of motion her spine could provide in excellent, alluring circles. She understood how to move, but neither made any attempt to step away.

    Shit, it worked. Looking over her shoulder, Mc could see how much Jaehee was blushing, reaching her ears, even. It was… beautiful. Her lips were pursed in concentration and her eyes seemed to look anywhere but Mc, allowing her to better commit their color to memory. Jaehee was so pretty, and right there; Mc would only need to stretch up a bit to reach…

    The song ended and Jaehee stepped back. “Ah… I think I get it now.” her hands lingered on Mc’s hips for a moment longer before she pulled them back suddenly, as if forgetting where they were.

    Suddenly afraid she’d scared her off, Mc panicked. “That wasn’t… too close or anything, right?”

    “No! No, I uh… It was fun!” Jaehee’s face flushed pink again, “I’ve never- I mean you- ah, you’re a really great dancer.” she cleared her throat and looked away.

    Mc took in the situation. Jaehee was clearly flustered (who wouldn’t be?) but she’d put distance between them. It was still too soon to actually go in for a kiss. Mc wondered if she’d already done enough to ask her out? Ah, god, why were women so hard to understand?

    “Thanks.” she didn’t want to push too far all at once. “Yeah, you picked it up well. I’ll just ah… go get the others. I want to run it all together one more time.” Mc hurried out the door, trying not to stare too much at her.

    Oh god oh god, she fucked it up. Jaehee was totally made uncomfortable. Was this even allowed, flirting with someone you’re coaching? Was she just weirded out by the professional wall that existed between them both? She fucked it up she-

    “Ok, I was totally prepared to watch you crash and burn just now. When and where the fuck did you learn to be that smooth?” Zen snapped her out of her panicking, blocking her path in the hallway.

    “What do you m- I was smooth?”

    “Like a snake through satin. Holy shit, Mc.”

    Mc fought off a giddy smile. “I didn’t like… push too far did I?”

    “You kidding me? I haven’t seen Jaehee that interested since the last time we performed with Yellow Caramel.” Zen chuckled. “Only one of their band members are straight, by the way, and almost none of their backup dancers are.”

    Mc ignored his extra gossip. “She was into it? You’re sure?”

    “Oh, my dear lady, she was enthralled by you. I’ve done a great job. They grow up so fast...” he patted her shoulder with a sigh.

    “You have done absolutely nothing to assist me, aside from minor encouragement.” She stepped around him to start heading down the hall.

    “Would you have proceeded with your advancements had I not offered my two-cents?”

    Mc pouted, thinking. “Probably not right away, but eventually.”

    Her lukewarm answer seemed more than enough to encourage him. “If I’m best at being a lover, then I’m second best at being wingman.”

    “I’m glad you’re taking so much secondhand enjoyment out of my lovelife.”

    “Is it so wrong to wish happiness upon two dear friends?”

    “Mm, it can be. I’ve certainly done it wrong before.”

    “Oh ho? I’m sensing a story here.”

    “Meh, I did once try and set Saeran up with a friend of mine that, ah, didn’t end… thatbadly in hindsight, but definitely wasn’t fun and I blame myself.”

    “Pushing people together isn’t wingmanning, assisting those already drawn to each other, however.” Zen made a gesture instead of finishing his sentence.

    “Back to you not really assisting. Last I checked, that was all my show.”

    “And you put on a spectacular performance.”

    “Thanks, Zen. I appreciate the enthusiasm.” They’d reached the door to the lounge moments ago but hovered outside to continue talking.

    “Good luck on the next step, though. Getting her to like you is easy, getting her to think you like her, y’know, romantically, is the hard part.”

    Mc paused, reaching for the door. “I was very clearly putting moves on her, how could that possibly be misunderstood?”

    “Oh believe me, Jaehee will find a way.” Zen sighed again, shaking his head sadly.

    “I’m sensing a story here.” she smirked, using his words against him.

    “I’ll tell you the details, when you tell me the details of yours.”

    “Only if you get Saeran’s permission.”

    He shook his head and pushed the door in. Mc sincerely hoped Jaehee understood the gesture. That was only her first attempt to romance her, and though it had gone well, it wasn’t all she had in mind. She didn’t want to rush her.

 

    “Mc, your phone’s been buzzing for like, ten minutes but you told us not to interrupt you unless someone was dying.” Saeyoung greeted her at the door to the lounge, alerting Saeran to her entrance.

    “Yes, and I meant it, but thank you.” Mc accepted the phone from him, right before it lit up again with another call from a contact that he couldn’t see from his spot on the couch.

    “Halloo?” holding the phone tucked between her shoulder and ear, she made several hand gestures that seemed to imply she wanted them to stand up (which nobody did) and go back to the practice room (which they also did not do). “Oh! Mari! Hey! How’s Doe and the gang?... Uh huh… Siiiiick…. Really? Good for him!”

    She leaned against the doorway, smiling. “So did you ask the rest of them?... Ahh! Yes! Dude I’m so beyond psyched to see you all again! It’s been so long!.... God, I know!” though she wasn’t paying attention, the five boys in the lounge were all tuned into her phone conversation, or what they could hear of it. “Yeah they’re excited to meet you all, too!” a scream could definitely be heard by the eavesdropping singers from the phone’s speakers. Mc didn’t seem bothered or at all surprised. “Was that Luna too?... haha I know! It’s pretty crazy, but you get used to it… What about Rui, Softie and Jay, are they coming?”

    Saeran looked up, finding her also meeting his eyes. She’d invited Rui and Jay? He didn’t look concerned or mad, more confused, and Mc seemed to take it as reassurance that it was an alright choice. Jeez, Saeran hadn’t spoken to either of them in months, Jay in a year. He wondered what they had to say about him now.

    “Ah, that’s too bad, I’ve missed him, but I’ll get to see the rest of you, so I’m still no less excited!... Yeah!... Ok I’ll talk to you guys in a week, text me updates if they happen! Love you too! Byeee!” she hung up and repeated her arm gestures from before. “Let’s go gentlemen, this routine won’t rehearse itself!”

    Saeran jumped when he felt a hand on his arm, still thinking.

    “You’re gonna get left behind.” Yoosung smiled and waited for him to stand up before walking. “Excited to see your camp friends?”

    “I guess? Mc was closer to all of them than I was, so I’m pretty indifferent.”

    “But you got all cool and famous! I’d be pretty excited to show off, honestly.”

    Saeran managed his own smile. “Yeah… I guess I did get… cool.”

    “That’s the spirit!” it was getting easier to smile, lately. Yoosung made it easy, since he almost constantly looked happy, but it was also just getting more comfortable with the group. Having what he could only classify as friends was… nice. Being happy was a lot easier when he stuck around the higher energy and more positive people.

    Huh, Saeran really had improved. He wondered if his old squad would even recognize him now. He supposed he’d find out in a week, when they came for the first show. For the first time in what felt like a long time, Saeran was looking forward to it.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr @lordessdoodle


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